IWC Scum — Shower Thoughts From SkitZ (Are We on the Verge of Logan Paul Becoming World Heavyweight Champion?)

While Backlash proved worthwhile from a quality standpoint, we were shortchanged on surprises—aside from poor Jeff Cobb receiving the JCPenney of name changes. Saturday Night’s Main Event will no doubt deliver a similarly booked show next weekend, but it’s what could happen between then and the RAW after MITB that has yours truly intrigued. Unlike Jey’s next challenger for the World Heavyweight Championship, who many feel is an overpushed piece of shit.

Is that a fair assessment though? The mind begins to wander as I retreat into my coffin-sized shower. Feels like it’s time for another internal discussion while I reach for the anti-dandruff shampoo that only seems to make my head even itchier…

SkitZ: Well, I wasn’t too far off with my initial prediction.

Me: And which one would that be exactly?

SkitZ: Right before Jey won the Royal Rumble, I had him pegged to face Logan Paul at WrestleMania.

Myself: Pegged? Is there more you wanna tell us? Feel free to let it all out.

SkitZ: There’s no need to be an asshole.

Myself: Are you sure you don’t mean dickhole?

SkitZ: AS I WAS SAYING, I had a feeling it was only a matter of time before Jey and Logan crossed paths on RAW. For as beloved as the World Heavyweight Champ is by fans, Paul is equally as hated. It’s the perfect clash of good versus evil.

Me: Absolutely! I thought we were getting the match at Backlash…?

Myself: Typical fanboy behavior. See where assuming things before they’re officially announced gets you? Your sick sense was off the mark as per usual.

SkitZ: It’s sixth sense, you idiot. And I think they decided to save Logan versus Jey for SNME because some genius thought it wise to cram three big events into four weeks.

Myself: Yeah, nothing screams PLE main event like a feud that’s continued after RAW goes off the air. What are we building towards here? A glorified dark match?

Me: I liked that WWE did something a little different with the angle! Also, would Logan Paul as World Champ really be that terrible?

Myself: It’s the very definition of a vibe killer. Jey at least earned his run. If you asked Rikishi, it came several years too late.

SkitZ: Um, I’d argue that there’ve been farrrrrr less deserving dudes who’ve held a World Title in the past.

Myself: Like who?

SkitZ: Great Khali, Jinder Mahal—

Myself: That’s all I needed to hear, you racist fuck. I’m sure Iron Sheik was also on the tip of your tongue before I cut it off.

Me: Logan Paul reminds me of the people on social media who’ve been trashing Jey since winning the Rumble. Unfairly I might add! Hence why I couldn’t have been happier watching him bang it out with Seth on RAW the other week, even if we didn’t get the desired finish we wanted.

Myself: You really need to work on your phrasing. I find it amusing how a lot of wrestling nerds felt Jey wasn’t worthy of beating Gunther, so you’d assume they would be thrilled to see Uce drop the belt as soon as possible, yet now those same tools are faced with the threat of him dropping the strap to the one guy who’s an even less appealing option to carry the World Title.

SkitZ: Yeah, it trips me out how fans tend to put certain wrestlers in boxes. Then when he/she starts moving box after box of merch and Hunter decides to think outside of it, the IWC suddenly isn’t buying what he’s selling.

Me: How does the company not run with Jey as WHC for at least a couple more months after that performance against Rollins? His first title defense was incredible!

SkitZ: I second that. Jey turns the volume up and brings in the crowd whereas—

Myself: Logan Paul manufactures nothing but “go away” heat.

SkitZ: That term is utter bullshit to me.

Myself: Oh, is it now? You never heard of X-Pac?

SkitZ: Yeah, and he left, turned Chyna onto porn, tore his asshole wide open, then came limping back, and everybody loves the guy now. “Go away” heat is a ridiculous concept because that’s how fans should feel about any heel in wrestling. I’m tired of fans liking and rooting for every goddamn villain who’s good at their job. The heels get cheered more collectively these days than the babyfaces!

Myself: WWE doesn’t even need to script heel turns these days. Just give the crowd enough time, and they’ll turn all the babyfaces for ya. They’ll even turn on a heel turn that they were initially praising.

SkitZ: Here’s looking at you, Cena.

Myself: We didn’t need you to spell it out for us.

Me: Logan Paul doesn’t have anywhere near the character of a John Cena though. I mean he filmed a Japanese man dead on arrival and broadcasted it for the world to see!

Myself: And? Vince did that for years. Shinsuke Nakamura anyone?

SkitZ: Oof. Low blow.

Myself: WrestleMania 34 anyone?

SkitZ: You’re wearing it thin already.

Myself: Never. Styles got screwed at Mania this year, and you know it.

Me: Paul was getting moved into a program with Jey right afterwards, so he needed the win more. It’s standard pro wrestling booking!

Myself: In what world is it fair or even logical coming out of their WM41 match that Logan transitions into a World Title feud with Jey, while AJ enters one with the Judgment Day?

SkitZ: He literally just explained it.

Myself: Who?

SkitZ: Your better half.

Me: Oooh speaking of which! We’re heading for a tag match at SummerSlam between The Usos and Paul brothers, aren’t we?

Myself: Uh, wild take. I’m pretty sure Jey will be defending his World Heavyweight Championship at the event.

SkitZ: You really expect him to hold the belt for that long?

Myself: Sadly yes. Gotta say though, I’m tired of this paint-by-numbers booking of the guy winning the World Title at Mania and then holding it until SummerSlam or the following WrestleMania. Mix it up a bit for crying out loud.

SkitZ: With Jey, it’s all about the triumph and reaching the pinnacle. Less so about how long he holds the belt for. Part of me thinks Uso drops the WHC at SummerSlam, but a larger part expects him to lose it even sooner. That’s why I think the title swap with Paul is a realistic possibility.

Me: You really think Jey’s run is gonna be shorter than his Intercontinental Title reign?

SkitZ: Your math isn’t great, but I certainly don’t expect it to last much longer!

Me: Even after seeing that trailer from the Unreal series of Triple H saying he wants to strap the rocket to Jey, you still believe Hunter’s gonna blow up Uce’s spot like that?

SkitZ: Everything that’s put out there for the world to see is a work, brother. Remember what The Rock said.

Myself: Oh fuck that douche.

SkitZ: In all likelihood, Logan is just another notch in Jey Uso’s belt after becoming WHC. Paul served as a decent filler feud during Roman and Cody’s title reigns, and this situation probably isn’t any different.

Myself: Look, do I expect Logan to dethrone Jey at SNME? Hell no. It’s the Money in the Bank PLE and looming battle with Gunther 48 hours later that has me suspicious.

Me: Not at all! I’m positive either LA Knight or Bron Breakker is winning the briefcase this year.

Myself: You gullible little bastard you. Try taking the blinders off and thinking about this sensibly. The general consensus backstage is that Bron’s going to be a huge star for the company, but isn’t quite there yet. And Knight is clearly still caught up in the dreaded Bloodline vortex. Tell me Logan Paul coming up short at SNME, then winning the MITB briefcase and cashing it in at the end of Gunther/Jey isn’t the most WWE move ever?

Me: Hmmm, very true. And you know those TKO execs are pushing hard for it.

SkitZ: I can hear the discourse already—“Vince would never let this bullshit happen.” Pfft please. VKM would’ve put the title on Logan two years ago. At least with Triple H, it’s more of a “third time’s the charm” kinda deal.

Myself: Quiet all this absurd noise. Rollins has been the MVP of the past two WrestleMania seasons. He’s the rightful next guy in line to hold the World Heavyweight Title, and this run with Heyman validates it.

Me: But Seth feels almost above the belt at this point. Putting the gold on Logan would be a shocking twist that draws people to tune in during WWE’s slow season!

Myself: I’d argue that it would drive more viewers away, but okay.

SkitZ: There’s an angle you’re not considering though. Seth said it’s all about control, and how does one go about attaining that? He already has The Wiseman, the generational athletic freak in Breakker, etc. Imagine them helping Paul steal the World Title on the RAW after MITB, and then Logan becomes the third man. Seth’s group gains more steam, and it sets the wheels in motion for all kinds of different scenarios down the road.

Me: Like Logan dropping the belt to CM Punk, Sami, or possibly even back to Jey!

Myself: Hard pass. Uce is a one-and-done type World Champion.

SkitZ: Yeah well, within this WWE bubble that breeds repetition and monotony, I enjoy anytime we’re given something fresh. Even if 90% of the IWC finds it absolutely rotten.

Myself: Same. We can’t just have fans up in arms every time Jey Uso makes his entrance. Wrestling works best when people are pissed and ready to riot. In other words, LOGAN PAUL FOR WHC. That’s right, I said it. Don’t hate us for being realists.

SkitZ: You sound more like an alarmist.

Myself: Nah, that’s your Italian broad over there.

SkitZ: Please leave my girlfriend—

Myself: You mean our girlfriend…

Me: Mine too!

SkitZ: When the hell did this become a polyamorous relationship???

Me: Polly? I thought her name was—

SkitZ: None of your business.

Myself: Overprotective much? Sheesh. What would you prefer then? Old lady?

SkitZ: C’mon man, don’t play her like that. You know she’s no Alexa Bliss.