IWC Scum — Hemming and Hawing Over All This ”Who’s the Next Heyman Guy?” Hullabaloo

Welcome back to the column that puts the incessant whining and complaining in IWC. I’m the literary defect they call SkitZ, and the alliteration is flowing through these fingertips today.

Ever since Bron Breakker showed up on RAW in one of Solo’s stealth hoodies and revealed himself as the newest Paul Heyman guy, the internet’s been abuzz over who’s next to follow. The Wiseman recruits two new clients, and everyone automatically assumes the endgame is another Evolution or Dangerous Alliance. We’re not putting the cart before the horse with this stable, are we? At face value, Seth and Bron are plenty capable of combating CM Punk and Roman Reigns. On paper though, it’s a mismatch when you start combining their star ratings. And I mean realistic ones, Mr. Meltzer. Same goes for you, WWE2K addicts. 

We have no idea who Heyman is pursuing, or how many people will be involved, but it’s certainly fun to speculate in the meantime. Besides, who am I to say Heyman doesn’t end up assembling another Bloodline-esque faction? Here’s a list of suspects that I think could benefit greatly from being part of such a group.  

Drew McIntyre: How could I not start off with The Chosen One? Seriously though, is this Paul & Pals partnership exclusive to RAW? Rollins and Breakker are Monday nighters, but if there were ever a time to cherrypick from all three brands, it’s right after Mania. I suppose the jury’s still out on that one, but Drew would be an ideal addition. 

Seeing as how my theory about McIntyre joining The Rock’s corporation fell flatter than its nonexistent follow-up, this is even better since Heyman’s actually around on a regular basis. Drew is constantly peeved at his position in the company and the preferential treatment of other top stars; Roman Reigns most of all. McIntyre might not have the same genes, but imagine him with The Wiseman in his back pocket. The only issue with this scenario is where Drew fits in a squad spearheaded by Seth Rollins. Not sure those two personalities would mesh. 

Logan Paul: We love to hate him, and this would no doubt raise that hatred to another level. The Maverick is in bed with a dozen different sponsors, which just so happens to be WWE’s primary love language. He draws clicks, views and general interest from outside the company. Whether or not these are the type of people the average wrestling fan wants to be associated with is a separate argument altogether, but you get my point. 

It’s pretty apparent by Paul’s booking thus far that Hunter sees him as a main event player in the years to come. Logan’s always working programs with WWE’s biggest names, and it’s only a matter of time before he pulls off the upset (keyword there) in one of these WWE Title matches. That’s right. You’ve been warned, Jey. Paul can wrestle any spot on the card, and he’s still gonna piss you off. That’s a skill in itself. Tell me you can’t picture Heyman lobbying for Logan after watching his performance against The Tribal Chief back at Crown Jewel 2022.

Ludwig Kaiser: Gunther’s former sidekick was in the midst of a gradual ascent, up until it fell to pieces faster than his girlfriend’s feud with Flair. Dude has barely been on television over the past few months, and he’s in serious danger of spending more time in catering than the ring this year. 12 months from now, Kaiser could either be walking into WrestleMania as Intercontinental Champion or requesting his release. That’s how wide the margin of error is with Ludwig. This pick might feel like a reach, but I believe the pompous German has tons of untapped potential yet to be explored.  

Bronson Reed: Now I know what you’re thinking – “another monster heel in Heyman’s mob? Why?”. Conversely enough, I don’t view Breakker as the Batista of the group like most people do. Bronny is buff and relatively ‘roid ragey, but he’s really no bigger than the average WWE wrestler. If anything, I envision Breakker being the Randy Orton of the stable due to his genetics and lineage. 

Should Heyman go searching for a legitimate monster, the timing could work out perfectly with the estimated return of Bronson, who’s been on the shelf ever since pulling an Adam Copeland at WarGames last November. Plus, it could pave the way for an awesome series of matches between Reed and Roman in the near future. 

Karrion Kross: This is assuming the Las Vegas native renews his contract with the company before it runs out this summer. I wouldn’t be shocked if Hunter made Kross a tempting offer of this magnitude to try and goad him into re-signing. Is Karrion’s mind already made up though? Of course the fans suddenly give a fuck about the guy now, but WWE hasn’t exactly done much with him. More like the bare minimum if we’re being honest. Kross could have a ton of fun and freedom running roughshod on the indies, but if he were to join forces with The Wiseman, it sets him up nicely for a career resurgence. 

Trick Williams: His promotion to the main roster has been rumored for awhile now, and learning on the fly while under Heyman’s wing ensures that he makes a splash right from the jump. Lots of people are predicting this role going to Carmelo Hayes instead, but I think Trick has more upside due to his size. Despite Williams only main eventing in NXT for the last year and a half, the fast-rising star is on the verge of outgrowing the place. Why not make the move before he loses any shine? 

Ethan Page: A proven commodity in other companies and promotions. The egomaniac shot to the top of NXT practically overnight, and now the only direction is down if he stays put. With Page turning 36 in September, I expect he’ll join RAW or SmackDown sooner rather than later. Ethan’s promos and in-ring work speak for themselves, but The Wiseman as his legal counsel has money written all over it. Learning from Heyman on-camera as well as behind the scenes could do wonders for Page. Sidenote – how come when I use the words camera, behind the scenes, and Paige in the same sentence, my mind immediately goes there?  

Bayley: Now for the Paul Heyman Gals portion of the column. After watching Bayley get replaced at WM41 by a Man in women’s clothing, and then listening to her interview on Chris Van Vliet’s podcast, The Role Model is someone who makes all the sense in the world. Not too long after that lightbulb went off, I saw Dolph Ziggler suggesting it on Twitter, and it had me feeling like a genius for a few minutes. 

Maybe Bayley was removed from this year’s WrestleMania for reasons other than Becky coming back? Uninspired booking aside, she’s just been going through the motions since capping off her story with Damage CTRL at WMXL. Fans respect Bayley’s tenure and dedication, but I daresay she often falls into that Natalya Neidhart territory. How do you get The Role Model’s mojo back? By pairing her with Heyman, and letting Bayley lash out at the WWE Universe for not putting her on the same pedestal as Becky and Charlotte, despite giving us far more than any one woman should have to.  

Becky Lynch: Speaking of her, I don’t care much for the idea of The Man being included just because she’s married to Seth in real life and recently turned heel on Lyra. Becky is arguably the biggest star in WWE on the women’s side of things when you take everything into account. She’s accomplished pretty much all there is to achieve in pro wrestling, outside of winning the newly minted IC and US Titles, which almost seem beneath her at this stage. Adding Lynch to Paul Heyman’s posse would be bittersweet, and I’m still sour over the last time her and Rollins coupled up onscreen.  

Roxanne Perez: Stephanie Vaquer and Giulia aren’t leaving NXT anytime soon, but The Prodigy sure feels prepared to, especially after her performance in the Women’s Rumble and Elimination Chamber matches. I thought Roxanne and Bayley were lined up for a match in Vegas, but good ol’ Creative scratched them right off the board like a fuckin’ bingo card. If they don’t go with Bayley as the girl in Heyman’s stable, Perez should be at the tippy top of that list. She’s really found her groove as a villain, and some wisdom from The Wiseman will help Roxanne stay ahead of the curve. What faction couldn’t use a mentally stable version of AJ Lee? 

Alexa Bliss: Last and most certainly least to appear as of late, The Goddess has once again become a prisoner trapped in creative purgatory. If it were my call, I’d cut off any remaining ties that Bliss has to The Wyatt Sicks. Just by being on an indefinite hiatus, they’ve silenced whatever buzz remained following Alexa’s deafening reaction at the Royal Rumble. We all miss the version of Bliss that took WWE by storm before The Fiend grabbed hold of her. I’m sure she’s a free spirit who wants to carry on Bray’s creativity, but linking up with Paul Heyman would be the smarter career path. It’s an opportunity for a character reset and a return to form that everyone’s been waiting for. Will it happen? Ehhh probably not, but it would definitely get her momentum back on track. Alexa being forever tethered to The Wyatts and not walking around wearing a title belt is a total waste. 

Alright, there you have it; my revolving carousel of candidates that’s destined to change as the weeks go by. Did I leave out any obvious choices? Hopefully this Heyman entourage elevates those who join its ranks with plenty to gain. Fingers crossed that they fare better than Cesaro, Ryback & Curtis Axel did back in 2013-14 when Paul was killing time until Brock and Punk came back…