I’ve been watching wrestling for over three decades. A large chunk of this was The WWF/E. Suffice it to say, I don’t really watch anymore — like, ever. (3 years, perhaps?)
But I do follow wrestling news, and inevitably, I still end up following what is happening in the Titan Towers. So an experiment to myself, can a non-WWE fan predict the Royal Rumble winners?
The narrative that McMahon has painted over the years has been the reluctance to create and push new stars. If a talent doesn’t pass the sniff test, no matter how gifted they may be, they’ve gotten the axe from WWE. But perhaps with the advent of NXT 2.0, and the rise in competition from AEW, the Royal Rumble will be a chance at a new era in WWE.
An era devoid of the “same-ol-same-ol” that I grew accustomed to, then stopped watching all together. Will this year’s Rumble be any different? That all being said, let’s dig in and see how well I can do.
Women’s Royal Rumble
-Announced (21 of 30): Charlotte Flair, Naomi, Rhea Ripley, Nikki A.S.H., Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Carmella, Queen Zelina, Lita, Michelle McCool, Kelly Kelly, Dana Brooke, Natalya, Mickie James, Tamina, Shayna Baszler, Summer Rae, Aliyah, Shotzi, Bianca Belair, Liv Morgan
What makes sense in this matchup is to push Bianca Belair, as she is the most talented and most over women in this batch of “announced” participants. Rhea’s push has seemingly been halted, and Liv Morgan isn’t a real threat. I can’t take the rest seriously, and I know you don’t either.
Bianca has a redemption arc if McMahon actually wanted to do something with it.
But isn’t Bayley supposed to be back soon? Let’s go with her and an eventual feud with Charlotte Flair AND Becky Lynch AND Sasha Banks at Mania to headline night one. The Four Horsewomen collide! It’s easy, and safe booking.
Men’s Royal Rumble
–Announced (22 of 30): Johnny Knoxville, Montez Ford, Angelo Dawkins, Rey Mysterio, Dominik Mysterio, Austin Theory, Sheamus, Damian Priest, AJ Styles, Big E, Happy Corbin, Madcap Moss, Sami Zayn, Kofi Kingston, Kevin Owens, Omos, Randy Orton, Riddle, Chad Gable, Otis, Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode
Realistically, no one on this list is going to win this match and head to Wrestlemania. They simply haven’t built up any true competitors to Roman Reigns or Brock Lesnar, which leads me to believe that Lesnar will enter the Rumble and actually win this.
(Unless Johnny Knoxville wins because it’s the WWE and lulz)
We could have a returning Goldberg win the Rumble, and that wouldn’t surprise me one bit. Reigns vs. Goldberg seem like a very WWE thing to do, especially with one match left in Goldberg’s contract. (would the Rumble count in this case?)
Lesnar COULD drop the title to Lashley to make room for a match against Reigns (I doubt they do title vs. title) and then comes back to win the Rumble. Or Lesnar drops it somewhere else along the line.
Either way, I doubt Vince trusts Big E, Drew, or anyone else to win this match and secure a Wrestlemania spot. If it’s a returning Cena or Rock that wins, it will be a slap in the face to the entire locker room (which means chances are elevated that it could happen).
But it’s probably going to be Lesnar.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
WWE Championship: Brock Lesnar vs. Bobby Lashley
While I DID guess that Lesnar would drop the title to Lashley above — I can also see a scenario where Lesnar still wins the Rumble AS WWE Champion. It’s just hard for me to see Lashley coming out of this match on top sans interference.
Winner: Brock Lesnar.
Universal Championship: Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
No-brainer. Though it could be fun if The Rock shows up to help Reigns win this match to set up a future program between the two (because Reigns wouldn’t want his help, right?). But I see this as highly unlikely.
Winner: Roman Reigns
Raw Women’s Championship: Becky Lynch vs. Doudrop
Lol. No, Doudrop is not beating Becky Lynch. No discussion needed.
Winner: Becky Lynch
Edge & Beth Phoenix vs. The Miz & Maryse
So this is a filler match is there ever was one. Are people actually excited to see this? Anyway…faces go over.
And there you have it. Me, a fan who hasn’t watched a full episode of Raw or Smackdown in probably 3 years, has predicted the Royal Rumble winners. How did I do? Do you have the same predictions? Did anyone watch that brutally fun GCW show on Sunday night? (You should)
Drop a message for me in the comments below and I promise to respond. Probably.