IWC Scum — The Hit List of a Legend Killer (Ranking Randy’s WrestleMania Matches)
Welcome back to the column that puts the incessant whining and complaining in IWC. I’m a dirtsheet succubus who goes by SkitZ, and this is my sorry excuse for content creation.
Free time is harder to come by these days than cheap gas. It’s a precious commodity that escapes us all as the years roll by and the physical toll piles up. Tomorrow’s a new day, sure, but that doesn’t mean it won’t come with heartbreaking news or an unforeseen obstacle. I began putting this column together in mid-March, and my distracted ass is just now getting around to posting the damn thing. Spare time feels almost unobtainable at the moment, and the same can be said about the minutes and hours ticking down on Randy Orton’s active career.
Despite his debilitating aches and pains, The Legend Killer boasts a body of work at WrestleMania that very few can rival. We can’t currently see him because Randy’s on a John Cena-esque retirement tour and just hasn’t realized it yet, but I wanted to give The Viper his due nonetheless. It’s been a lengthy tale of hits, misses and hissy fits for Orton on wrestling’s grandest stage. This is how they rank according to the multiple voices in my head.
#21. versus Edge in a Last Man Standing Match (WM36)
As a massive Edgehead back in his heyday, it bums me out having to place The Rated R Superstar at the very bottom of my list. While the pandemic era produced some fun and unique stuff on occasion, this hardly qualifies as such. Copeland’s first WrestleMania in nine years was missing more than just fans and background noise. It felt like watching some kid with no imagination playing WWE 2K, and struggling mightily to not snatch the controller away from them Bully Ray style.
Orton and Edge had an entire Performance Center to sift through and utilize as their creative sandbox, yet the former allies opted for a never-ending brawl which lacked any memorable spots or redeeming qualities. And who the fuck decided to give this empty arena snoozer upwards of 37 minutes? You could’ve cut the run time in half, and it still would’ve felt unbearably long.
#20. versus The Fiend (WM37)
Not only was this match somehow worse than their previous Mania meeting, but it perfectly demonstrated how badly Vince had butchered The Fiend character over the year and a half leading up to this. After Orton reduced him to a smoldering pile of shit months earlier, Wyatt resurfaced in Raymond James Stadium just to basically be written off TV for good. Snuffed out with less sizzle than his future tribute band of misfits. Why, it’s sickening really.
Spirit Halloween Bray no-sold a handful of moves, but it ultimately proved meaningless because Randy dominated the entire match. The Fiend was supposed to be this superhuman entity, yet he lost in under six minutes due to a distraction assisted RKO. The cool visuals involving Alexa Bliss are the only thing that saved this from finishing dead last.
#19. versus Joe Hendry (WM41)
Me and my buddy Rey Ca$h spent a decent portion of Mania weekend debating the importance of match lengths, and coincidentally enough, I find this three-minute banger deeply triggering. It served as a nice celebration of Orton’s 20th WrestleMania, gave Joe Hendry some shine on WWE’s brightest stage, as well as the TNA World Title, and created a viral moment in the process. Randy’s open challenge made the best of an unfortunate situation, but did the company make the best of Hendry’s introduction to their audience? Triple H couldn’t have given Joe at least 8-10 minutes to show what he’s fully capable of??? Clearly you can tell which side of the argument I fall on. Forgive me for my shortcomings, Rey!
#18. versus Bray Wyatt for the WWE Championship (WM33)
One of those tragic outcomes where the story is top tier, but the match falls way short of expectations. While Bray constantly struggled to string together big wins, seeing him drop the WWE Championship just seven weeks after winning the strap was still more surprising than it should’ve been.
Even with the wonders of modern technology, the supernatural smoke and mirrors nonsense is difficult to pull off without coming across super cringey (hence why Danhausen has such a high ceiling, because he’s taken the whole shtick in the opposite direction). It put a damper on several major matches of Bray’s, including this dud between him and Randy. These two headcases were forced to structure their spots around the insect riddled special effects, which is all that people tend to remember about it. Furthermore, Orton and Wyatt were only given 10:30 to work with, which is blasphemous for any World Title match that doesn’t involve Brock Lesnar.
#17. versus Cody Rhodes for the WWE Championship (WM42)
For one reason or another, Randy’s never been able to deliver the type of five-star Mania classic that every wrestler dreams receiving online. Regardless of whether you chalk it up to Orton’s in-ring style, or him simply being a victim of circumstance, I really believed the stars were aligned for The Legend Killer to give the performance of his life this year against Cody. Randy had the perfect opponent, the perfect platform, and best of all, the perfect story. At least he did before the powers-that-be punted it into the section formerly known as the cheap seats.
2026’s Night 1 headliner suffered a full-blown identity crisis. Even with the move to quickly rid fans of the McAfee dilemma, Rhodes and Orton just standing around killing time while they stretchered Pat out killed the vibe instantly. Then Randy’s back is so fucked that Cody was relegated to working heel for the majority of the match. Things finally began to pick up once Orton showed some color, only for McAfee to intervene again, and ultimately cost his boy the belt. Rhodes walked away looking the worse for wear courtesy of the post-bell punt, yet Randy’s the one off TV for said back problems. This long-awaited match was booked like something straight out of Vince Russo-era WCW. It also felt similar to watching HBK versus Austin at WM14, where Shawn was in so much pain that he didn’t care about stealing the show. He was just trying to get through the match.
So in summary, fuck TKO for tampering. Fuck Creative for resorting to AI. And fuck Jelly Roll as well for being the only voice of reason, but still taking part in this thievery.
#16. versus Bobby Roode, Rusev and Jinder Mahal for the United States Championship (WM34)
Your boy SkitZ damn near forgot this fatal four-way ever happened; let alone the fact that Orton walked into said match as the United States Champion. Judging by his caliber of opponents, Randy’s face run had clearly stalled and gotten him stuck in the dreaded midcard shuffle. Anyone between Roode, Rusev and Orton would’ve made sense to go over on the night of, but Vince remained hell bent on pushing Jinder Mahal as part of his Saudi expansion project. The Modern Day Maharaja picked the bones, stole the title and the hot NOLA crowd immediately went mild. Randy couldn’t fire up the fans for this one if his life depended on it.
#15. versus Kane (WM28)
Vinnie Mac called upon two of his trusted veterans to reel the crowd back in following the 18-second snub that was Sheamus squashing Daniel Bryan. The fans were audible with their dissatisfaction throughout the first hour of the show, but Kane and Orton were unfazed by the atmosphere. The pros went to work and quietly pieced together a solid undercard match. One which even saw Randy take a super rare chokeslam from the second rope in a losing effort. The Viper and Big Red Machine weren’t winning any awards for this performance mind you, but it doesn’t belong near the bottom of the Orton barrel either.
#14. versus Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jr. (WM26)
While the intention was to conclude the Legacy storyline and help boost the careers of Cody and Ted, the execution came off like a glorified squash for Randy. A vehicle to kickstart his recent babyface turn with a bang whilst doing very little to elevate Rhodes or Dibiase in the short term. The handicap match mentality of Orton’s proteges broke down eventually, and once it did, The Viper wasted little time punting and RKO’ing them into defeat. A rather forgettable WrestleMania for Randy honestly. Going on second with limited minutes to work with prevented this from becoming anything highlight reel worthy.
#13. versus Triple H for the WWE Championship (WM25)
This match was hampered by three eventualities.
1) Randy and Hunter had to follow Shawn and Taker, so the audience was spent and over it by the time the main event finally rolled around.
2) The build to this match turned out better than it had any right being given the opponents and time period. The stipulation Vince landed on for their blowoff at Mania severely limited the match itself. Based on the heightened intensity of everything, HHH versus Orton should’ve ended up battling in a No Holds Barred or Hell in a Cell match. A brutally violent affair in other words. WWE booked themselves into a corner by trying to punish Randy at WrestleMania due to his actions leading up to the event. It came off feeling more like The McMahon family stacking the odds against a rebellious loose cannon chasing the title (hmm ring a bell?).
3) Orton and Triple H faced each other on so many occasions over the previous five years that this matchup was nothing new or exciting. Fans were burnt out on the rivalry, so unless these two pulled off a miracle, it was always destined to be a letdown. And that’s exactly what happened. Plus, the wrong man won.
#12. with Sheamus & Big Show versus The Shield (WM29)
In case you needed any additional proof that Creative threw three big names together to serve as Shield fodder, look no further than the Big Show turning face for this match just to revert back to a heel by the end of it. The seven footer’s allegiance changed on a dime more often than Vince’s manic rewrites.
Rollins, Reigns & Ambrose were the stars of this six-man tag. In their WrestleMania debuts, The Shield pushed the pace while demonstrating the difference in work rate between indie guys and WWE veterans during the early 2010’s. Aside from Randy hitting a couple RKOs before getting knocked out himself by bipolar Big Show, there’s not much to write home about. Ho-hum Mania for the Legend Killer.
#11. Money in the Bank Ladder Match (WM23)
Aka the year Mr. Kennedy won the briefcase and then gave away a surefire World Title reign due to a bad diagnosis. Back when there were only seven or eight matches on the main card, which meant a bunch of big names were thrown into this cluster. We appeared to be heading towards the implosion of Rated RKO at WM23, but ended up having to wait another 13 years to get that big 1-on-1 showdown between Edge and Randy. Given that Orton was a bit player who only contributed in sporadic spots (most notably RKO’ing CM Punk off the top of a ladder), it’s hard to not place the match somewhere in the middle of the pack. Randy’s moments are far and few between, but this star-studded car wreck is highly entertaining regardless, which raises it a couple extra rungs.
#10. versus AJ Styles (WM35)
As was the case with most of AJ’s WrestleMania matches, Orton versus Styles had no business underwhelming, yet it did in 2019. This list has demonstrated just how much Vince loved putting Randy on second during these long ass shows. MetLife Stadium was on the comedown after watching Seth slay The Beast in the opener, meaning The Viper and Phenomenal One had a tough hill to climb in getting the crowd to react to anything. They didn’t wrestle the most compelling match either. These two GOATs gave us better performances before and after this, which makes it all the more befuddling.
#9. with Riddle versus The Street Profits and Alpha Academy for the RAW Tag Team Titles (WM38)
This put a nice bow on the unexpected gift that was Rated RK-Bro. The year-long run they had as a tag team turned into the most comedically lighthearted stretch of Orton’s career. Matt needing to be babysat by The Legend Killer in order to keep his job is wild considering the track record of young Randy.
Alpha Academy and The Street Profits brought the energy and athleticism, capped off by a pair of awesome RKO counters from Riddle and Randy. Hot opener to kickstart Night 2, but also a bittersweet one given that Orton would soon be sidelined indefinitely with a career threatening back injury. The only guy who fell off more over that timeframe was Gable Steveson.
#8. versus John Cena and Triple H for the WWE Championship (WM24)
All hail the age of Orton. My God did Vince love booking his heel World Champion to escape Mania with a win. Randy had evolved as a wrestler though, and he desperately needed some validation following three consecutive losses at The Show of Shows.
Orton, Trips and Cena could wrestle a hundred times, and they’re always gonna fall in that three and a half star range. Nothing subpar, but nothing particularly special either. Sold outing built around a clever finish. The biggest reason why this triple threat didn’t leave more of a lasting impression is due to the overall quality level of WrestleMania XXIV. I mean this was probably the sixth best contest on a nine match card? You better believe I’d put the Belfast Brawl up against Randy’s punt party any day.
#7. versus Kevin Owens and Logan Paul for the United States Championship (WM40)
Ah yes, one of Paul’s three measly title defenses during his nine-month reign as champ. As much as I wanna hate on Logan at Randy and Owens’ expense though, something in me enjoyed this triple threat more than the one that landed right below it.
At the time, this felt like Orton and KO being burdened with Logan Paul duty at Mania when we really just wanted to see Randy and Kevin go at it 1-on-1. A match we’d have to wait another year for, and ultimately still not get, but the reality is that this three-way dance delivers so seamlessly on the rewatch. Thanks to great pacing and a well-executed finishing sequence, Logan’s successful title defense adds depth to one of the best modern WrestleMania’s. The golf cart shenanigans before the bell, along with Randy disposing of IShowSpeed like a Prime bottle, make it infinitely more entertaining than numero ocho.
#6. versus Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight Championship (WM22)
Mr. McMahon shortchanged this triple threat on time due to his match with Michaels going long. The same event Bret Hart no-showed because he wasn’t comfortable appearing following his Hall of Fame Induction across the street. You just know The Hitman would give the Vince/Shawn lovefest a 3 out of 10 then, now, and forever.
On the flip side, I can’t imagine bitter Bret not awarding Rey/Kurt/Randy at least twice as many stars. This co-main event was action packed, and that’s putting it mildly. The time constraints result in them cramming so much into such a short window that it barely allows any of the spots a chance to breathe. A damn shame because if Angle, Mysterio and Orton were given twice as many minutes, this could’ve easily turned into an all-time epic. The Legend Killer seemed on the cusp of winning another World Title, when in reality he was nowhere close thanks to being such a destructive asshole backstage.
#5. with Ric Flair & Batista versus Rock n’ Sock Connection (WM20)
Unless you’re Oba Femi, it’s practically unheard of to land a WrestleMania match of this magnitude right outta the gate. Orton made the most of his minutes, but The Rock and Naitch absolutely stole the show here with their antics and theatrics. Mick and his old buddy did a helluva job putting over the young guys. Foley sold the sudden impact of the RKO perfectly with the finish, and although wrestling fans still heap praise upon the Hardcore Match from Backlash, their overall feud doesn’t receive nearly enough credit. Mick left his imprint on Orton’s career like a well-placed thumbtack. Excellent Mania debut for The Legend Killer, but I’m deducting points due to it being a group effort. Bite me, critics.
#4. versus CM Punk (WM27)
As methodically paced as you’d expect from a method wrestler like Orton, but it never becomes dull or tiresome. The only thing mid about this match is its card placement. One of the few bright spots on a truly shit Mania. I do feel like Punk and Randy had another gear worth exploring that really could’ve boosted them into MOTY territory, but compared to Cole versus Lawler, this might as well have been Savage and Steamboat.
I think both men believed they should’ve been higher on the card that year, Punk especially, and they wrestled like it inside the Georgia Dome. Orton was already an established top star whereas the New Nexus leader still needed to prove himself. Randy wasn’t about to let Punk show him up though. The counter into the RKO surges this sleeper hit forward a few spots.
#3. versus The Undertaker (WM21)
Even after seeing it multiple times over the past two decades, I didn’t realize just how much of a banger the first Orton/Taker match was until this latest rewatch. Amazing flow throughout, with an impressive amount of counters highlighted by two terrific false finishes. The Phenom goes to counter the RKO another time and grabs a handful of Randy’s viper by accident as he’s chucking Orton over the top rope. What a dick move, right?
These were during the days when WWE still held WrestleMania in arenas. The LA crowd was biting on every move, and the noise level is top notch. It didn’t even matter that Randy and Taker went on third. They worked their asses off to try and steal the show. Modern Mania’s could use more undercard gems that deliver to the degree this one did.
#2. versus Seth Rollins (WM31)
The payoff to Orton’s revenge arc with The Authority hit the mark just right. Most people praise this match specifically for the finish, but those folks seem to forget that Randy and Seth killed it for 13 straight minutes leading up to that magnificent moment. Orton and Rollins have always displayed great chemistry, and they packed a ton into said timeframe (including a couple fun spots involving J&J Security). WrestleMania 31 is highly regarded as one of the greatest large scale shows WWE’s ever produced, and that’s because it’s peppered with strong undercard performances such as this beauty. Crazy to think Seth would top arguably the greatest RKO to date later the same night, but it just speaks to the strength of that 2015 card.
#1. versus Batista and Daniel Bryan for the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship (WM30)
Although there was plenty of evolutionary history to dive into between Big Dave, Randy and Hunter, nobody wanted to see that bullshit in 2014. We all had the Daniel Bryan blinders on heading into that WrestleMania, and unless he was factored into those plans, we simply weren’t interested in anything else.
I find this to be the best match in Orton’s entire Mania catalogue because it includes all the essential elements. Not only is every main ingredient accounted for, but it doesn’t suffer from too many cooks in the kitchen as was the case this year. You’ve got an engaging story with a real sense of urgency, a raucous crowd, plenty of time without overstaying its welcome, just the right amount of shenanigans, and most importantly, the execution is spot on. Bryan might’ve been the man of the hour, and deservedly so, but all three men played their parts perfectly. Badass entrance for Orton too with the live performance by Rev Theory.
Annnddddd that’s the way the cookie crumbles, much like Randy’s lower spine. WWE dangling the Cody feud in front of our faces for so long and then failing to deliver the goods just left such a bad taste in my mouth. Can’t imagine how Orton feels having his own body betray him once again at the worst possible time. Randy’s talked about transitioning into a Taker type schedule when his current deal expires in four years, but The Legend Killer might’ve already reached that phase of his career. Let’s hope Orton doesn’t hang around in denial for as long as The Deadman did; chasing WrestleMania moments that his back can’t withstand.