It’s WrestleMania. As a kid we went bonkers for this. Our best memories came from here.

Let’s get to it.

Unsanctioned Match

Drew McIntyre vs. Jacob Fatu

For the life of me, why do they use the word ‘unsanctioned’? “No Holds Barred or “Street Fight”. That simple.

It does have the potential to upstage the card on night 1, which they might need if the main event doesn’t tickle the fans fancy. It does make for a good story, Drew’s gotta do Highlander, and Jacob is a main eventer in waiting. The Scotsman got the title before as a compensation of sorts, and maybe he won’t be a heel when he returns. 

Winner: Jacob Fatu

The Vision and IShowSpeed vs. The Usos and LA Knight

The celebrity match. It’s bound to be pretty solid. Not a show stealer exactly, but it’ll get fans warmed up for the rest of the night. Plus with Logan Paul in there, high spots!

Winners: The Usos and LA Knight

Oba Femi vs. Brock Lesnar

Ah yes, is Suplex City about to get demolished, or at least get wrecked good? I recall 11 years ago the beating Roman Reigns took, who kept coming back for more. Now this doesn’t need to be a repeat of Goldberg destroying him, but Lesnar should take the ‘L’ since he’s been built up as a force who can take this one.

Winner: Oba Femi

Finn Balor vs. Dominik Mysterio

Three years ago, we saw the Demon last. Edge insisted on giving Balor the ‘W’ but Vinnie Mac wasn’t having it. 

We likely won’t, but shouldn’t we get a moment involving Balor, Priest, and Ripley? Maybe Balor gets Dominik’s betrayal rubbed in his face only for him to remind them they turned the prodigal son into a bastard. I wish Rey Mysterio would – just once – confront one of them.

Whoever wins, the Demon needs to look like a force.

Winner: Finn Balor

Women’s Intercontinental Championship

Becky Lynch vs AJ Lee (C)

They took Bayley off the card last year for her benefit. Becky needs to be the one to lose. Also, you might’ve heard the rumors on a certain pale looking British lady about to make a comeback. How fitting would it be if AJ lost her title to Paige.

I’d say this will be a solid one, and AJ needs a big win in Vegas. Also, Becky could use a change in character.

Winner: AJ Lee

Women’s Tag Team Championships

Fatal Four Way match

The Bellas (maybe) vs. Bayley and Lyra Valkyria vs. Charlotte and Alexa Bliss vs. The Irresistible Forces (C)

Perhaps they should’ve made a Gauntlet match to squeeze a few more women on the card, but hey, I’m not running this show.

Their plan with Charlotte and Alexa must be a feud, which might have happened sooner if they didn’t catch on as a team. With her having missed last year for Becky’s benefit, it’s Bayley’s time.

Will they ever sign Izzy? 

Winner: Bayley and Lyra

Intercontinental Championship

Ladder Match

Je’Von Evans vs. Dragon Lee vs. JD McDonagh vs. Rusev vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Penta (C)

Gee, six guys and some ladders, I’m sure this won’t be too exciting. 

How much more abuse can Rey take? There’s enough talent in the ring to send the fans home happy, and the chance for a Mexican Destroyer to end them all, well…

Winner: Je’Von Evans

United States Championship

Trick Williams vs. Sami Zayn (C)

Do we smell a double turn? You might call bulls***, but they knew what they were doing having Sami win. Trick Williams is headed for a turn, and Zayn needs a refresh bad.

Winner: Trick Williams

Women’s World Championship

Liv Morgan vs. Stephanie Vaquer (C)

Balor being kicked out means the Judgment Day’s golden age members are almost gone. Is Liv next? With how pitched this rivalry has been, it could steal the show. Plus, if Liv takes the ‘L’, it’ll likely be to botched interference from Raquel and/or Roxanne. 

As much as Morgan deserves the win, they’ve been pushing Stephanie hard. Coin flip.

Winner: Liv Morgan

WWE Women’s Championship

Rhea Ripley vs. Jade Cargill (C)

I don’t wanna be “that guy”, but as much as Jade should lose it, Ripley winning it might not be a good move. She’s been pushed hard, and if they’re not careful, the fans will turn on her because, well they would. 

Winner: Rhea Ripley

WWE Championship

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes (C)

We’re here now. 

Is it really WCW in 2000 bad? Well, maybe, but in time history will be the judge.

The build towards Night 1’s main event, yeah, it’s been mostly a miss, but I can’t help but feel the haters wouldn’t be so down on it if it happened say, in ‘23 or ‘24. Yes, it was a case of creative not reading the room and needlessly turning Randy Orton heel. The less said about Pat McAfee, the better.

There is the Jelly Roll question. If he’s around, how will it go down?

Cody finished the story two years ago. The haters now couldn’t care less. 

Winner: Randy Orton

World Heavyweight Championship

Roman Reigns vs. CM Punk (C)

The match that will close Night 2, will it be a 5 star classic? Maybe. Both of these guys can deliver, but if Reigns wins, what then?

Roman keeps “returning” so much. He’s gotta be on TV enough to make the gold mean something, assuming they’re leaning towards Oba Femi or maybe Gunther dethroning him at SummerSlam. Either way, we’re looking at a potential classic.

Winner: Roman Reigns

Here’s some final thoughts.

All these calls for Vince McMahon to return and save the business, where was this sentiment four years ago? When boneheaded mistakes like the 2019 Hell in a Cell main event were still lingering in our heads? What about the torn up scripts? Aborted plots? Just before he resigned the first time a Smackdown only had 13 MINUTES of wrestling on a 2 hour show. 

TKO don’t care much about the fans, but neither did Vince. 

The IWC can’t see past the high ticket prices and the ESPN deal, but of course, let’s bring Vince back, and forget he only put women’s wrestling in the spotlight because Triple H made him. Vince says the ring is sacred, but he clearly didn’t think his marriage is, or that one shouldn’t pass women around like they’re candy.

I won’t even talk about NXT.

Order some pizzas and enjoy it. It only comes around once a year.

Don’t mess with the X.