Brodie Lee’s widow Amanda Huber reflects on the five-year anniversary of his death

This year seems heavier. Five seems like the next milestone. At first it was making it thru the first hour you were gone. Then the first day. First week. First month. Six months. First year.

Five seems like the next milestone.

I still remember it like it was yesterday. I can close my eyes and walk thru the whole day. Waking up that morning in the hotel and knowing it was going to be over. Taking in the walk from the hotel to the hospital. Walking into the room with Big Hero 6 playing. Seeing my incredible nursing staff (including one who wasn’t supposed to be there but came in so I wasn’t alone) Watching our friends filter thru. Going thru the worst moment of my life telling Brodie. Walking back to the hospital knowing it was the last time. The sounds the family made when they walked into the room and saw him for the first time. Holding his hand as he let go. My nurses holding me in that moment. Cleaning up the room I essentially lived in for months. Getting texts of Brodie flying kites on the beach with @CodyRhodes Taking in the sunset on my final walk back to the hotel. Sitting in the hotel room trying to come up with the words to put out to the public that he was gone.

I know I said this recently but I’d give almost anything to have just another hour. For you to see the amazing people the boys have grown into. To see how smart and funny Nolan is. To see how passionate Brodie is. To talk to them both and realize how lucky we were to be parents to such amazing little boys. Also to thank you for giving me them. Thank you for teaching me so much about myself over the years. For bringing me into your amazing family. Just to thank you for everything.

I wish I had more words for this.

I miss your laugh. I miss the way you’d make me laugh. I miss watching you play with the kids. I miss watching you nap with the dogs. I miss texting you unflattering pictures of Ham. I miss you putting over my cooking. I miss thousands of little things and micro moments where I’m reminded of the hole you left.

I love you forever. Thank you for making me the luckiest 🍀”