Planet Kayfabe: Avoid The Noid, Dominos
By: “KCA” Paul Matthews
Ya know, I never thought I’d say this, but I kinda miss the days when huge corporations would just kind of ignore the general public until they desperately needed us to stay alive. Now we live in a world where it seems like every company, every sports league, every film company, every television network, and even our duly elected politicians all cave to pressure from Twitter mobs and other forms of a social media lynching. They do this, even though Twitter is just a small percentage of our population and an even smaller percentage of that are regular, daily users who always feel the need to air out their opinions at their very whim.
And yes, I said that just to keep your attention, cancel culture. 😉
I’m reminded it was a good decision to leave Twitter constantly. The latest example is wrestling Twitter whining like babies to sponsors and the companies actually bowing to the demands of these trolls and only empowering them. It’s being reported now that due to the violence in the Nick Gage vs Chris Jericho match this past week, which involved a pizza cutter, it is causing Domino’s Pizza to reconsider sponsoring AEW going forward. That’s fine if that’s how they feel, but the problem here is it became a manufactured problem after a bunch of whiny, tribalistic fans on Twitter ran to the Twitter account of the event’s presenting sponsor and complained.
Where did this all start in wrestling? I believe it was when WWE announced an all-female battle royal at Wrestlemania 34 and titled it the “Fabulous Moolah Battle Royal”. By this point, wrestling fans knew it meant nothing to tweet at WWE or at Vince McMahon so they went to Snickers who was the main sponsor of the event and THEY listened and got in contact with WWE. I too had issues with WWE naming the battle royal after Moolah, but demanding change over it seemed silly. People over-reacted and went to Snickers. WWE caved to the pressure and ever since then Wrestling Twitter has felt empowered. Empowered to bitch off at big-name sponsors any time they don’t like something on their show or just want to fuck with a company they hate.
Snickers shouldn’t have batted an eye. Calling it the Moolah Battle Royal would not have cost WWE one network sub or PPV buy and these fat geeks aren’t giving up their candy any time soon. Once people got their bitchfest out of their system, it would have been business as usual. Same with this pizza cutter being used in AEW. People ran to complain. Some PR person had to say “we hear you” or whatever the latest go-to line is from these overpaid turds and at least pretend like they’re going to consider pulling their ads from AEW events.
Domino’s should know better. They created The Noid. They should know that The Noid exists today in the form of every whiny brat on Twitter. These aren’t real people with real concerns that need to be dealt with. They’re just trolls out there starting problems where they don’t need to be and trying to exercise what control they think they have by joining a social media mob since they have no control in their sad real lives.
Whatever. Why do I even bother complaining, right? These aren’t the types of complaints that get heard. I just wish all these major companies and institutions would ignore their Twitter’s @ feed and stop pretending like any of that shit matters. You people hold all the cards. Why are you giving your hand to a bunch of brats on social media? It makes no sense to me, but again… whatever. It’s going to continue.
The funny thing is Domino’s would gain some cool points with wrestling fans if they actually doubled down on AEW and showed their support. To me, sponsors are white noise. They’re just kind of there until something happens that makes them stand out. That match and this made-up Twitter “controversy” shined a spotlight on Domino’s and if they showed some sack and put their foot down on these trolls, they’d be the pizza place of choice for wrestling fans. At least the 1.1 million who watched this past week of AEW on television. Normally, people wouldn’t feel any attachment to a sponsor, but if that brand is outwardly presenting themselves as being big supporters of AEW in the face of a bunch of complaints, then they’d win over a lot more customers than some stupid commercial would that people are usually taking a piss or shit during anyway when it airs.
You said it in the 80s, Domino’s… “Avoid the Noid”. Today’s Noid’s are all on Twitter. Avoid them. That goes for the rest of you movers and shakers in the world. Don’t get up to give these babies another bottle. Just let them cry it out until they go to sleep.
Alright, that’s it for me. Enjoy your weekend, everyone. Remember when everyone thought I was an AEW “hater”? My last couple of columns seems to be changing that reputation. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll have reason to bury Tony Khan again soon enough. I’ll be moving again soon so I’m not sure when my next column will be. Likely not next week. Best case scenario – two weeks from now.
Anyway, thanks again for reading, everyone. I appreciate it. I’d also appreciate a Gibson guitar or Dunkin’ Donuts sponsorship, too. Don’t worry, things don’t get gory on Planet Kayfabe. For NoDQ, I’m Paul Matthews. God bless and delete your fucking Twitter now!