IWC Scum — 41ish Random Thoughts on This Year’s WrestleMania

Welcome back to the column that puts the incessant whining and complaining in IWC. I’m a mixed bag of nuts that goes by SkitZ, and this is my current state of mind after tossing it in a blender. 

…I pecked away all week at a column titled ‘Hunter’s Supernatural Weakness and Why It Sucks for The Wyatt Sicks’, but ultimately couldn’t finish it because the subject matter bored me into a near death experience. One thought from the nearly-completed piece stuck with me though: Would anybody even care about The Wyatt Sicks returning if it didn’t affect Alexa Bliss?

…The Street Profits must be feeling pretty salty right about now; SmackDown’s entire tag division for that matter. The backstage segment between them and Nick Aldis last night set the stage perfectly for a multi-team ladder bout this weekend, only for the SmackDown GM to announce a TLC match for next Friday. Can you imagine getting that news? “So you guys are working every show around WrestleMania, but not the event itself.” What an honor! 

…How do you justify leaving a TLC match off the card that features a handful of tag teams who’ve been booked consistently for months in favor of The War Raiders defending their straps against The New Day? Woods & Kofi win the Tag Titles again, but as heels this time. Is that the payoff? Feels like we’ve been shortchanged. I’m happy for Erik & Ivar making WM41, but the follow-up to New Day severing ties with Big E has been virtually nonexistent. 

…Who answers Randy Orton’s open challenge? Karrion Kross would be great, but I’m cool with just about any choice, so long as it wasn’t Solo Sikoa. There’s a reason why the cosplay Tribal Chief hasn’t wrestled at a Mania in the 3 years since he joined the main roster, and that’s because Sikoa sucks. I’d rather Randy go solo at WM41 and have no match at all than bother with The Bloodline anymore.

…Matt Cardona was recently lobbying for his wife to be on the Mania card, as if anyone ever takes what he has to say seriously. I knew it would be a game time decision whether or not Chelsea made the show. She certainly deserves to; that’s not the issue. Clearly the Zack Ryder curse has rubbed off on his wife. 

…It also doesn’t help that Lyra Valkyria has an opportunity to become a double champion this weekend, while the reigning Women’s US Champ isn’t even booked to defend her singles title. Chelsea Green as WrestleMania host isn’t gonna cut it either. It’s better than nothing, sure, but give that role to Theory & Grayson Waller.

…Speaking of The Artist Formerly Known as Austin, Theory’s push has gone stone cold over the past year, and not in a manner that’s conducive to growing success. I found it funny that he posted a collage of photos on Instagram from the past couple years with the caption “Mania week vibes” when he’s not even booked for the show. Furthermore, it serves as a perfect illustration of how Theory’s steadily fallen off from WM38 until now. A Vince prodigy can’t be a Triple H guy. Omos agrees. 

…I’ve seen a ton of tweets lately about WWE having “the worst PR week ever”, which just reads like a trendy narrative to me. John Cena saying he still loves Vince McMahon is the same as a fellow wrestler saying he can still appreciate Chris Benoit as an all-time great despite all of the terrible things he did outside of wrestling. That doesn’t make Cena a terrible judge of character. He’s just echoing what a lot of people are either too afraid or not in a position to say publicly. 

…And wrestlers being able to speak more freely in interviews and podcasts is what’s helped evolve WWE out of the Stone Age. If the talent spoke too candidly in the past, you-know-who would kill whatever push they had going. And if Vince were still in charge, we wouldn’t bear witness gems like Naomi saying the only ass shots she gets are from Big Jim. I love it. More please.

…If Night 1’s main event needed a heel, they’ve got one now! And no, it ain’t Heyman. Tell me you can’t picture President Trump appearing at Mania and acknowledging The Tribal Chief. Nuclear heat for Roman incoming? 

…I’ve also read plenty of fan theories about Paul screwing Roman and Punk, and aligning himself with Seth. Then Rollins turning heel and joining The Rock’s new Corporation. Not sure how it plays out, but you know what would make for the perfect storybook ending? Drew showing up and costing Punk and Reigns the triple threat match. Talk about the perfect revenge after what they both put McIntyre through over the past couple years. 

…Jey is definitely winning the World Heavyweight Championship at Mania. A title change that many of us have mixed feelings about because well, Gunther is the superior wrestler but Jey’s an uber popular underdog. It feels very much like the IWC versus the casual fan. 

…Imagine if newly crowned champ Jey Uso suddenly appears during Cena/Cody to cost Rhodes the match, and the lasting visual as WM41 comes to a close is The Rock standing between Jey and Cena as they hold their respective World Titles in the air. 

…And if that isn’t enough cinema for you, Jey comes out on RAW the next night and says the fans caused this by turning on him as soon as Uso won the Royal Rumble and leveled up. The critics started trashing Jey after praising him for years, so he went into business for himself.

…Hate me if you must, but I dig Logan Paul’s new finisher. It’s probably gonna be hard to pull off on bigger opponents, but the move is creative and draws a great reaction. The Paulverizer looks like something AJ Styles would’ve used regularly back in his TNA days.

…I caught wind of a Zoey Stark tweet where she was hating on Liv Morgan because her asscheeks are always hanging out. Isn’t her girl Shayna into that kinda thing? How insensitive.  

…The wrestling world feels slightly off its axis when neither KO or Sami are a part of WrestleMania. Rumor has it that Zayn requested time off, but I still wonder if initial plans called for Sami to face Karrion Kross at WM41. Definitely seemed like the direction they were heading in. 

…Bloodsport: where Hunter sends wrestlers who should be competing at WrestleMania, but it somehow wasn’t in the cards for a two-night extravaganza. Why the hell wasn’t Nattie ever presented like that in WWE???

…Remember when Ludwig was poised to have a big year in 2025 and work someone like Penta or Bron at Mania? If Kaiser slid into anyone’s DMs, it should’ve been Triple H’s.

…Out of the 4 potential choices, Balor is the only guy I’m certain won’t be walking out of Vegas with the Intercontinental Championship. I often find myself wondering where Finn would be if not for The Judgment Day… probably on his third stint in NXT. 

…You know, for someone who suffers from panic attacks and worries so much about her looks and perception, Rhea Ripley has no problem posting thirst traps on social media. Not a complaint mind you! Just an observation. Now excuse me while I go do some more creeping. 

…The fact that Damian versus Drew is the only match of the weekend with a fun stipulation doesn’t quite sit right with me. Naomi/Jade should’ve been slotted as a Last Woman Standing bout, or something to that effect given their history and the physicality involved. I’d even accept some whacky gimmick like a Casino Royale where Naomi and Cargill brawl it out amongst slot machines and blackjack tables. Smells like money, doesn’t it? 

…Tasking wrestlers with working matches 24-48 hours before WrestleMania is dangerous business. WWE found that out the hard way last night on SmackDown. Of course it was Rey Mysterio’s injury prone ass who got hurt. Fortunately, the company has a dozen other masked luchadores who could step up and fill in for the living legend if he’s not able to make WM41.  

…It could also turn out to be a blessing in disguise, because newcomer Fenix is already in the perfect spot after last night’s SmackDown to take Rey’s spot at Mania. And as much as Mysterio versus Gab- errr I mean El Grande Americano – would’ve no doubt cooked, Fenix wrestling the Caucasian Luchador has the capability of being even better. Book it!   

…As for the Triple Threat Match involving Iyo Sky’s World Title, she absolutely needs to win. If for no other reason than Japanese wrestlers forever getting fucked over at WrestleMania. Historically, the entire country of Japan has gotta be like 0-127 at the event over the past 4 decades. There’s going to be a bunch of title changes at WM41, so let Iyo retain by sneaking out a victory due to Rhea and Bianca being so focused on one another instead of the champion. 

…We might be witnessing the most inexplicable heel turn ever with Bianca Belair. Only in professional wrestling will fans boo the shit out of you for being a class act with morals and standards. 

…I really could’ve sworn we were heading for Solo versus Jacob this weekend. We all know the turn is coming, but they’re really set on dragging it out for a few more months. Not mad at LA Knight dropping the United States Title to Fatu though. Anything to avoid another Solo singles match. Thank you, Jesus! 

…Damn, I’m still hung up on who walks out Sunday night to challenge Orton. Allegiant Stadium will lose their minds if Lana comes out and introduces a returning Rusev. Hmmm would that be too predictable though? 

…Could it be one of the promising upstarts from LFG? Please God no. That screams Botchmania. 

…How about a popular NXT star like the North American Champion Ricky Saints? 

…Or perhaps a blast from the past like Mr. Kennedy? Stretcher or Ambulance match. Either will do.

…Jiimmy Uso being the chosen one would catch as much shit online as his brother winning the Royal Rumble. 

…Right after declaring he’d never wrestle again, we hear that glass break and Stone Cold struts out in a swerve for the ages. Legend versus Legend Killer. 

…Could it be Matt Riddle given his ties to MMA and Las Vegas serving as the mecca for the sport? Can WWE even count on Riddle making it to the venue without pulling a Victory Road 2011? No disrespect, Jeff.

…Does Nick Aldis book himself against The Viper after Randy name-dropped his wife and dished out $100k in RKO’s? 

…Hmmmm maybe the newest Bloodline member? Orton does the job for Zilla Fatu? 

…Matt Cardona is seriously expecting a last second phone call, isn’t he? LOL. 

…Wait, doesn’t Ryback live out in Vegas? I’m all for him cutting one of his bipolar tirades after losing to Orton. Only on a live mic this time rather than Twitter.  

…Shane McMahon? I’m sure he’s already made half a dozen pitches to Hunter regarding why he should go over.

…Is Randy next? I could see him making quick work of Goldberg, and calling it an early night. 

…Oh man, I hope it’s Vince. I can hear the discourse on Twitter already. “I KNEW IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE CAME BACK. EVERYTHING THEY SOLD US WAS A LIE. I’M BOYCOTTING THE REST OF WRESTLEMANIA.” Boo-fucking-hoo. And Vinnie Mac would still probably get the biggest pop of the night. 

…Dammit, I didn’t even proofread this. Eh, screw it. Good enough.