The Phantom Rant: Elimination Chamber thoughts and Danhausen too
Greetings conversationalists all across the world wide web. It is I, the one and only “Phantom Lord” Joseph Davis and this is The Phantom Rant. As always I am coming to you from the frozen apple that is New York City. While we here in the city continue to defrost after being walloped by a another massive snow storm, I can’t believe I haven’t written anything in a while. I apologize for that. Life gets in the way as we know. But I’m here now and luckily the road to Wrestlemania is well underway and as usual the WWE is hitting every pothole along the way.
Elimination Chamber has just finished and it was an all right show. I would have put up a column on Friday night, but the WWE decided to screw with me and they called an audible on the audible they had to call on Jey Uso winning the final spot in the chamber last Monday night. They had a chance to right a wrong and put Jacob Fatu in the chamber…but instead they went with Logan Paul. Now I’m not one of these people who’s like “Oh Logan Paul…he’s just a youtuber” I appreciate the unlikable person that he is and I think he’s a great heel. But everything that happened at Elimination Chamber could have been saved for RAW. I know…I know…we need “moments” Seth Rollins return at the Chamber was a “moment”.
Apparently Bronson Reed getting hurt on RAW threw everything into chaos and the WWE decided to call an audible and unmask the masked man on Smackdown as some random jobber (no offense to said random jobber). They had another one scale the chamber tonight as a distraction allowing Rollins to saunter in and take out Logan Paul before he unmasked himself. Now I know nothing about sports medicine so I have no idea if Seth is actually cleared to wrestle anytime soon. I guess they are hedging on Rollins being ready for Wrestlemania to face Logan Paul. Bron Breakker, I believe won’t be ready but at this point who the hell knows anymore.
The men’s Chamber match was good though and despite Logan Paul getting the lion’s share of the elimination’s in the match, thanks to Drew McIntyre trying to cost Cody Rhodes the match and failing, the final two of Cody and Randy Orton traded finishers on Drew before Orton caught Cody with an RKO OUTTANOWHERE for the win. In the original column I was writing, I had said this was Cody’s match to lose. The betting favorites had Cody winning so if he didn’t win I would be shocked. Well consider me shocked. I know Drew vs. Orton has been done before, but you now what…I am bored to death of QB1 Cody Rhodes. I know he has to be the face of the company and all, but we’re getting the same problems we had with Cody Rhodes in AEW. Cody overcomes almost all the odds and gets handed everything.
To illustrate this point, they kept making note that the chamber was the last chance Cody had to get a shot at the WWE Championship. Well, after the events of Elimination Chamber…Nick Aldis had other ideas and gave Cody another shot at the title next week on Smackdown.
I don’t expect Cody to win on Friday, but at this point…who the hell knows. Things need to change with Cody Rhodes. But they won’t. They’ll stay the same and we will be still complaining about this Cody for a long time to come. It’s like with John Cena during his prime as Super Cena about fifteen years ago (wait…even longer ago). People were begging for something to change and it never did. I fear we’ll be with this Cody Rhodes until he finally decides to sell his soul to The Rock and then it will be too late.
Okay, that Rock thing won’t happen but it would be nice to see some damn continuity.
In the other Chamber match things weren’t as set in stone with the women. It was a much more intriguing match with better possibilities for a match with Jade Cargil at Wrestlemania. Well that is until the ending when it came down to Tiffany Stratton and Rhea Ripley. I like both of them, but if I had a choice I’d rather see Tiffany vs. Jade at Wrestlemania since that is a rematch they have been sitting on for months now. But they went for the the bigger money match with Rhea. They just had her and Iyo Sky lose the Women’s tag titles on Smackdown. So I guess this was a thank you present for that run. On paper Rhea vs. Jade looks good. I mean it’s two powerful women fighting each other. I honestly can’t pick a winner in that match. On the one hand…Jade Cargil needs a long title reign. On the other Rhea hasn’t been champion in a while so she’s probably due. I’m sure it will be an interesting match to watch.
Speaking of things that was interesting to watch, we got the big reveal of WHATS IN THE CRATE at the Elimination Chamber. Unlike the betting on Cody and Tiffany winning their matches, if you bet on Danhausen debuting…you won. Yes, the worst kept secret in wrestling was finally opened as Danhausen made his WWE debut after being trapped in limbo for the last year or so of his AEW tenure. I’ll start off by saying I like Danhausen. I don’t get what the whole gimmick is supposed to be, but he makes me laugh and not everything needs to be serious in pro wrestling. From a money standpoint…Danhausen knows how to make it. Just like The Schwartz in Spaceballs, the guy has merchandised everything he could think of and with the WWE machine behind him I’m sure he’ll make a killing.
But things did not go to plan with his debut. The Chicago crowd was honestly “meh” to him and by the time he and his gaggle of dancing girls got to the ring they were loudly booing him. All I could think of in this situation was Dancin Homer on The Simpsons. Danhausen’s act works great in the small time. But this is the big time and the WWE all ready has a Capitol City Goofball in R-Truth. That might be harsh, but it’s the truth. Hopefully Danhausen can finally show off what he’s capable of. Underneath the painted face and cursing people… he actually is a decent wrestler. I mean you have to be with such an off the wall gimmick.
I just know that it’s a good thing Vince McMahon isn’t there anymore because he would take one look at Danhausen and be all WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS? Or maybe he would laugh his ass off. I’m guessing that’s how Triple H sees the gimmick. If he’s lucky, we’ll get a new Santino Marella.
On that note I am done for this week. Once again I apologize for the delay. But with the Road to Wrestlemania ramping up, we now have seven weeks before the big show. A lot can happen between now and then.
As always thanks for reading and you can leave feedback down below, on twitter or email me directly at phantomlordnyc@gmail.com