Retro WWFWCW.com column from 2000 – Rumors of Hulk Hogan returning to WWE

For those of you who don’t know me I am eme doble ve (English translation: MW), conquistador extraordinair! I hope you have read uno just to get a feel of what I’m all about. If you’re wondering if this edition will be better than uno, then the answer is Si Senor! This article will be much better than my first, because I will mention Essa Rios! There you go, mentioned him. I just want to remind you that if you are the highly offendable then I suggest you refrain from taking my writing to heart. After all I am a biased writer, and that is what I’m here for. (If you like Hogan, then do not read the first paragraph of Really Randoms Rants. On the other hand, it would really piss you off which would hopefully create feedback to make up for the lack of the feedback I received on the first one. And there’s always this to consider, being pissed off is better than being pissed on!) One more thing before I stop rambling, the new Limp Bizkit CD is released today. I just finished listening to it, and I must say it is pretty good. Listen to “My Way” and “The One.” Instant hits there. In my personal opinion, I give it a seven of nine stars just because I feel like it. And now for my thoughts….

Really Randoms Rants

Hogan is old, really old. And guess what. He still can’t wrestle! (or act for that matter) I really wish all the rumors that Hogan is going to the WWF would end. Although I see where they’re getting it from with the mentioning of his name last week on Raw, but if that is the only thing it’s based on then we would have seen many more wrestlers change organizations including Vince McMahon (for the millions of time Russo has said that Vince McMahon wasn’t the one who made the WWF what it is and so on). There is no chance Hogan will be going to the WWF in any way, shape, or form. He may have intentions of trying to go there, but until flying monkeys shoot out my ass, McMahon will not let a wash-up, old, wrinkled, so-called wrestler into his business that is overflowing with more great talent than any organization would know what to do with. We will be seeing the Brooklyn Brawler win the World Title before we see Hogan in the WWF. (If I am wrong about this [which I’m not] then I may very easily be considered the biggest dumbass in the world.)

Does anyone else hate when they ring the bell excessively during the after-match brawls? Do they actually think that tapping a piece of metal and making a sound will stop two grown men from beating the crap out each other? This occurs less in WWF now than it does in WCW (like every other match), but it still happens. It annoys the sh!t out of me.

I feel the following MUST be said. Stop complaining about Rikishi being the driver to hit Austin. In just about every poll I saw that was close to ” Was Rikishi a good choice for the driver” and the answer was always weighted to the side of not good. This is quite possibly the greatest swerve ever thrown in the WWF. No one had any clue whatsoever that Rikishi, the phat man, a huge face (no pun intended), involved in the makings of a great feud with Kane, would have hit Stone Cold. Finally the WWF ended a huge mystery angle with the solution to the mystery being one of the most unlikely people out there. That’s great, surprises are always fun. Even though I just knew that Rikishi was the driver as soon as a saw that he was staying in the ring, my jaw still dropped and remained open for a while. I was amazed, and that is just what I wanted to the end result to be – amazement. At this point however, very few are willing to believe that Rikishi is the actual hit man. His story was also kind of weak. I really hate the race based angles because they are bad for the fans in ways I’ll explain to you if you e-mail me and ask for it to be explained. I’m not saying that I believe that Rikishi was the real driver, (because I don’t believe that Rikishi really plays the heel part well enough to maintain such a high heel status alone) but just maybe Rikishi is the real driver and only person involved. I truly don’t believe that that is the case, but just think about it. If Rikishi didn’t act alone, then who else would be involved? The Rock? Vince McMahon? Triple H? Shane? Steph? All obvious answers, and especially in the case of the Rock and Vince, way too obvious. The WWF has set this angle up to make it so obvious to every person who has watched WWF TV in the past two weeks that it is the Rock. So of course the classic WWF thing to do is say that Rikishi is just covering for the Rock. But lately Vince and the booking staff have been much better in covering their secrets. So I have a feeling that no one knows exactly what is going to happen in this. And I say that is a good thing.

Now here is my follow-up to that rant. I want you the readers to give me your opinion. Do you think Rikishi was a good choice for the driver? And if not, who would you rather have had hit Austin? There is one particular answer that I am looking for, and I will give props to all those who give me that answer in my fan’s edition of It Must End. Of course I will also put in the other responses that interest me.

Now speaking of well kept secrets, who are those conquistadors? I know that Chris Daniels and The Hardcore Kidd were dressed as them, but who do you think the WWF will reveal them as and when? Will they stretch this out as long as possible? Send me what you think at It_Must_End@wwfwcw.com.

Now I want to move on to WCW for a sec. Juvi’s release has me baffled. I really am still pretty confused with the whole situation. It is always bad when a talented wrestler goes bad because of drugs. He was very stupid and in most respects deserved to be canned. But I still can see where some might come in with the Scott Hall deal. Why wasn’t he cut too? It is all beyond me. The one good thing about this is now Kidman (I think I may be the only one who really likes this guy.) is finally being pushed and is back with the Animals. For once I really have no bias one way or the other, so I won’t delve to deep into this. I just wanted to touch base on what I consider a huge happening in the world of wrestling.

Now there is one final thing I want to say. For the past two weeks WCW has been brought to us from Australia. I was amazed when I first saw a WCW with lots of people in it. They haven’t seen that many people since the prime of the NWO. I’m sure that’s good for the self esteem, so to speak, of the superstars. Almost all of them seemed to put on a better performance than usual the land of the Aussie. So maybe that’s why WCW has sucked for so long, lack of crowd response made the wrestling bad and that’s what made the ratings so bad. If you didn’t notice, that last sentence was total sarcasm. Unfortunately most of the plots really sucked, as always, which ruined the performances and the energy in the arena. I think the plots sucking is what ruined WCW, and it really and truly MUST END. That was a really sucky paragraph, I hope you were able to decipher what message I was trying to put across.

That is all for the second edition of It Must End.

“If you don’t like my sh!t, then you can suck my d!ck.” Eminem
“I am M 2day, and I am here 2stay!” MW (The most electrifying man in all of sports entertainment and conquistador extraordinair.)

Next edition coming Friday: No Mercy preview, The Big Show, Mark Henry, Los Conquistadors, Tazz/Raven, and much more.

If you need to mail me any comments, corrections, questions, or prompts for my next article, then e-mail me at It_Must_End@wwfwcw.com. I like mail so you better send it to me! Don’t forget about the poll questions I put up.

Thanks for reading!
MW