IWC Scum — You’ve Been Punk’d (Jey Uso’s Getting the Ashton Kutcher Treatment)

Welcome crazies and gentlemen to the column that puts the incessant whining and complaining in IWC. I’m hack writer SkitZ, and this is my NoDQ.coming out party.

Now let’s get one thing straight right out the gate – I’m no Ashton Kutcher fanboy. Dude, Where’s My Car? takes a backseat to Pineapple Express any day, no matter what type of high you’re riding. Romcoms aren’t my vibe either, unless it’s Rikishi bugging out over a teased romance between his son and Rhea Ripley. And when it comes to That 70’s Show, well I just couldn’t justify geeking over the same TV program as my mother. Adolescent SkitZ was already virgin deep in acne and braces. You weren’t gonna catch any Jaida Parker rubbing up on my thigh, because I was racing home to turn on wrestling. 

Between us keyboard warriors, the play on words in the title is actually a Two and a Half Men reference. Remember when the sitcom was wildly popular, and Charlie Sheen could do no wrong? Then he proceeded to do everything wrong; blowing his $1.8 million per episode on obscene amounts of coke, while domesticating porn stars and cutting heel promos on series creator Chuck Lorre. The latter searched far and wide for a suitable replacement for the off-the-rails actor, with fans eager to find out who Lorre chose to succeed Sheen. He ultimately landed on Ashton Kutcher, which garnered a ton of criticism and second guessing at the time. Two and a Half Men ran its course, but the untimely recasting did the show no favors in the long run, and ended up ruining the experience for a lot of viewers.

As random as the analogy seems, you know who that scenario reminds me of here in 2025? “Main Event” Jey Uso. Or as some social media dregs are referring to him as, the worst Royal Rumble winner in history. WrestleMania is the highly successful show in this equation, CM Punk is the Charlie Sheen-esque enigma who’s a more universally accepted and appealing option as leading man, and Jey – for better or worse – is Ashton Kutcher. A super popular figure within the industry, but someone who’s always had his fair share of detractors.

I don’t subscribe to the virtual shooshing of YEET, nor do I echo this trending sentiment that Jey can’t cut a promo. He speaks with a swagger and rawness that few wrestlers do. Crowds pay attention when the dude talks, and WWE listens. So now Jey’s on this treasure hunt all of a sudden and, ironically enough, X marks the spot where wrestling fans turn to bitch and moan the loudest. The comments I’ve read since he won the men’s Rumble have been wild.

“Of all the choices to headline WrestleMania, they picked HIM??? The award for Worst Booker goes to Triple H”. 

Fans are free to love or hate whichever wrestler they choose, but this ongoing narrative that Jey Uso’s undeserving of his current push are two cents that ain’t worth a damn to me. It’s nonsense because he’s proven to be extremely valuable as a singles star. Jey’s character work throughout The Bloodline saga was widely praised, he draws the entire crowd into being part of the show, continues to be one of the company’s top merch sellers, and he’s bridged the gap in crossover stars appearing on RAW. Every rapper from Lil Wayne to Travis Scott has accompanied Uce to the ring, in return creating extra buzz around WWE. Jey has such a strong connection with the fans in the stands that it’s hard to believe he and the IWC aren’t on the same wavelength. 

“Hunter really watched that WrestleMania 40 match and went “yeah Jey Uso is my guy this year”. Trips has fallen off.”

Damn, that Jimmy versus Jey bullshit really left a bitter taste in a lot of people’s mouths. Did it play out like a Young Bucks tribute gone bad? Absolutely, but are we really gonna act like Jey Uso hasn’t delivered time and time again in key matches over the past couple years? Five-star classic with Jimmy, Sami & KO at WrestleMania 39. Repeatedly proved during his wars with Roman that he belonged in the main event scene. Oh and since switching to RAW back in late 2023, casually had bangers against Seth Rollins, Damian Priest, Drew McIntyre, Gunther and others. Those crowds were hanging on every near fall, and you could sense them ready to explode had Jey pulled it off. Nobody should be knocked down the depth chart over one crappy midcard match. As a brother speaking from personal experience, siblings bring out both the best and worst in us.

“Jey Uso versus Gunther at WM41 does nothing for me. I’m not into it”. 

Let’s be real. A large portion of you aren’t feeling Jey/Gunther because you’ve seen it before. Once very recently and three times in total over the past year. Fans are conditioned to expecting fresh, never-before-seen matchups at WrestleMania. By that standard, the upcoming World Heavyweight Title bout is old news. It’s a marquee that doesn’t jump off the screen at you. However, I’d argue that Jey/Gunther IV is untraditional in the sense that we rarely see the underdog babyface fall short on the eve of the Rumble, only to redeem himself the following week and slingshot the feud beyond a rubber match. The Ring General has been on another level each time they’ve battled; from Intercontinental Champion to eventual KOTR winner to current WHC, while Jey’s gone 0-6 in World Title matches. Then just when you assume the guy’s exhausted all opportunities for now, he shockingly wins the Royal Rumble and earns another crack at Gunther. Color me intrigued. 

And this is coming from some nerd who rooted for CM Punk to win the Royal Rumble and finally headline a WrestleMania. I thought for sure he’d be challenging Gunther for the World Heavyweight Championship (with Rollins possibly being added to make it a triple threat). Now my hopes are pinned on Punk prevailing in the Elimination Chamber and dethroning Cody instead. Speaking of finishers and setup maneuvers, here’s another shortsighted complaint I’ve heard about Jey from the experts on social media:

”The guy has 3 moves. Superkick, spear, frog splash.”

Hmmm I can list 5 right off the rip without even deferring to Wikipedia. Coincidentally the same number of moves that John Cena uses. We both know a great deal of the unrest surrounding Jey’s controversial Road to WrestleMania has to do with it being Cena’s last hurrah. The 16-time World Champ’s retirement tour is officially underway, and fans were so convinced Cena would win the 2025 Rumble and make history at WM41 in storybook fashion. It might still happen mind you, but couldn’t one argue that John Cena breaking Flair’s record in Vegas is equally as predictable as Jey Uso finally winning his first World Title there? WWE throws us a curveball for a change, and the IWC is ready to throw down and charge the mound in protest (as if Cena doesn’t have 8 whole months afterwards to knock No. 17 out of the park). Imagine if 10 years ago the Royal Rumble match came down to a fan favorite tag wrestler winning it after eliminating John Cena… the IWC would’ve been in their glory. My how times have changed. You’d swear Cena endorsing Jey post-Rumble had gone over like The Rock/Roman incident based on the reactions online.  

“I just can’t see him as anything other than a tag team wrestler”. 

We’re still hung up on this? You know, I can’t recall KofiMania ever receiving this much backlash, and Kingston went into that match 5 years into the New Day’s run. Kofi achieved plenty of singles success to be fair, but he also had earlier tag team stints with CM Punk, Evan Bourne and R-Truth. I wrongly assumed the support for Jey Uso would be as unanimous as it was for Kingston, but perhaps fans feel like the former right hand man of Roman is punching above his weight class.

Is it the twin dynamic that has folks struggling to separate Jey’s recent work from his Day One lookalike? Pre-2020s, I’ll tell you what I didn’t foresee happening. Back in late ‘17, I posted a column detailing where I envisioned WrestleMania heading in the coming years under Vince McMahon’s leadership. In it, I mockingly booked the card based on his questionable tendencies, and one of my proposed matches for WM39 was Jimmy Uso versus Jey Uso. The gag being that Vince’s habit of prematurely splitting up tag teams had no limits; even going so far as dividing a set of twins because he saw more potential in one than the other. Well the joke’s on me, because that match actually took place a year ago. What are the odds???

You needn’t be a betting man to know Jey Uso’s bound to get lucky when WWE hits Las Vegas in mid April. He’s a certified moneymaker, even if all the yeeting isn’t fundraising a whole lotta fanfare on the internet. I can’t help but feel it’s due in part to Jey not being the IWC’s anointed favorite anymore. At the moment, that spot belongs to Jacob Fatu. Last year it was Bron Breakker. In 2023, LA Knight was all the rage, along with none other than Jey Uso himself. His name constantly popped up amongst Cody Rhodes and Sami Zayn’s on the short list of rightful choices to end Roman’s historic reign. WWE never pulled the trigger, and Jey lost another round to the Tribal Chief before shooting his shot as a solo act on RAW. 

I’d say Jey’s put plenty of holes in the theory that he’s only a supporting role player. The Bloodline arc molded him into a bonafide stud, but Jey’s already built a legacy beyond the walls of Roman’s empire. If you can’t be genuinely happy for the guy and come along for the ride with an open mind then I‘m at a loss. Apparently, many of the men in my age demographic are approaching WrestleMania 41 with a bit too much childlike wonder. I realize you weren’t expecting a perennial tag wrestler with 3 moves and a stupid catchphrase to be main-eventing the biggest PLE of the year, but guess what?

You’ve been punk’d. We all have, but don’t be an asshole just because Jey Uso’s holding a royal flush heading into Sin City.

Twitter/X: writersblock_skitz (@JoshKeegan20)

Email: skitztmrlop@gmail.com