IWC Scum — Ranking My Favorite Survivor Series Elimination Matches
Welcome back to the column that puts the incessant whining and complaining in IWC. I’m SkitZ – the chickenshit heel of internet personalities, and this is my day after Thanksgiving wrestling binge. Throughout the month of November, I found myself rewatching old Survivor Series matches in anticipation of tomorrow’s annual PLE. Then at some point during this self-imposed marathon, I decided to rank 10 of my personal favorites from over the years. It’s really that simple, folks.
FYI: I didn’t start watching wrestling until 1998, so the first decade in the event’s history received less love from my list than playboy Viscera during his humpback whale phase.
Sidenote: One night recently, I woke up to the backstage segment from Survivor Series 2021 when Vince showed Roman the infamous golden egg. And for a few seconds, I legit thought it was part of some fucked up dream sequence. I even considered scrapping the column altogether, but the bitter taste it left in my mouth subsided eventually. You know WWE Creative is in the shitter when the crap Vince Russo says starts to make sense.
Second sidenote: Am I the only one completely miffed by the decision to put Team MFT versus Team Sami on SmackDown instead of this weekend’s PLE? A traditional Survivor Series Elimination match that WWE’s been building towards for the past two months, and it’s taking place the night before… Not only that, but I assumed the endgame was Solo’s quad facing the Wyatt Sicks at WarGames? The fact that tomorrow’s card currently consists of 4 matches isn’t doing much to clear up my confusion. There aren’t even any traditional 5-on-5 elimination matches booked for Survivor Series! For the love of Aleister Black and logical booking, let’s please return to honoring tradition on the appropriate evenings.
#10. The Dudleys & The Hardys vs. E & C and RTC (2000): Given the year, it’s no surprise that the three greatest tag teams of the Attitude Era ended up in the same clusterfuck at this Survivor Series. It really didn’t matter what other duo you slotted in there to fill out the rest of the field. When you watch matches back from said time period, everything feels sped up. Clocking in at under 11 minutes, we’re treated to a little taste of everything you’d wanna see from a melee featuring these teams. There’s one spot where The Hardy Boyz pull their shirts off to reveal matching camo underneath as a nod to their teammates Bubba & D-Von, only for Matt & Jeff to tear them off 30 seconds later; making the whole reveal seem like a waste of custom clothing. Jeff is the sole survivor to the surprise of nobody in retrospect, and the babyfaces celebrate by putting the Right to Censor through tables. 100% pure nostalgia us dopamine fiends.
#9. Team DX vs. Team Rated RKO (2006): Clear evidence that this is more based in bias and much less of a greatest hits compilation. Yes, it’s an extended squash of a clean sweep. The way the match is structured and executed however made all the sense in the world to me. With a runtime nearing 12 minutes, everybody involved is given a moment to shine. Mike Knox’s story behind Vince selling him on getting instantly eliminated by HBK is unintentional comedy at its finest. We’re treated to some trademark DX humor, OG Hunter having to acknowledge CM Punk’s overness for a night, a rash of Hornswoggle hijinks, and Rated RKO attempting to flee once they realize the heroes have a 5-2 advantage. No offense to their teammates, but a squad consisting of Gregory Helms, Johnny Nitro & Mike Knox should get dominated by an allstar lineup featuring DX, Punk and The Hardys.
#8. Team Shield vs. Team Brotherhood (2013): Roman’s coming out party. Aside from Daniel Bryan’s rapid ascension, The Rhodes Bros rebelling against The Authority was arguably the best storytelling WWE had to offer in ‘13. Cody and Goldy had some banger matches with The Shield later that year, which included this traditional elimination bout at Survivor Series. After falling behind 5-2, Reigns and Rollins tear through the opposition to win it in dramatic fashion. Well, Roman mostly who spears his way through pretty much everybody en route to racking up 4 eliminations and taking home sole survivor honors. Hearing the Boston crowd cheer on young Reigns – rather than reject him for being inauthentic – feels like a lifetime ago. There’s also a short promo segment before the opening bell which ends with Cody twerking, and upon watching it, my immediate reaction was “shit like that is precisely why your ass never sniffed the main event in those days”.
#7. Three Minute Warning vs. Jeff Hardy & The Dudleys (2002): So what if this was a 6-man elimination tables match? It’s still technically a Survivor Series elimination bout, and therefore meets my skewed criteria. There’s just no way I could leave this underrated gem off the countdown. Even after all these years, Survivor Series ‘02 remains one of my all-time favorite wrestling pay per views, and a lot of it has to do with the opening act.
Madison Square Garden is on fire right from the rip, as Rosey & Jamal ragdoll Spike and Jeff from pillar to post. Rico’s involved too. Random as hell I know. WWE had to find him some other team to manage following Billy & Chuck’s falling out, and for some reason they landed on Three Minute Warning. Nevertheless, there’s a ton to love about this chaotic 6-man massacre. Creative use of the tables, Spike nearly dying for our entertainment, flying Samoans, Hardy leaping off of balconies, and a great Bubba/D-Von reunion after they were sent to separate brands in the first of many Draft Lotteries. 14 glorious minutes of reckless fun. Highly recommended.
#6. Team Miz vs. Team Morrison (2009): Or as I like to refer to it as, The Contenders versus Pretenders matchup. Finlay rocked, don’t get me wrong, but his Survivor Series squad mainly consisted of guys who weren’t long for WWE at the time, or the ascending level of success it takes to stick around. Meanwhile, Team Miz featured names who would go on to become perennial stars for the company over the next 10-15 years. This match served as a glimpse into the future, resulting in the team captain, Sheamus & McIntyre methodically picking apart the competition until John Morrison is left in an inescapable 3-1 hole. You know who I felt the worst for in this whole scenario? Matt Hardy, who they were calling “the heart and soul of SmackDown” during that period. This man really thought he was on the verge of finally receiving that big solo push after Jeff left the company… only to be gone himself less than a year later.
#5. Team Teddy vs. Team Bischoff (2005): Some classic, old school (for a millennial like me anyway) brand warfare. Could’ve been even better had we not lost the late great Eddie Guerrero a couple weeks before the PPV. Taz’s short man syndrome flares up early in the match and he becomes borderline insufferable on commentary. Not enough to ruin the match though. Imagine Maven on his podcast, but with all the Triple H shit talking aimed at Jerry Lawler instead.
HBK pulls off a repeat of his ‘03 performance by rallying the face team from a 3-1 deficit, only to ultimately fall to Orton; the sole survivor for a third consecutive year. Taker returns afterwards to ruin Randy’s celebration, but Michaels is the true star of this traditional 5-on-5. Rightfully so given the lackluster squad Shawn had to lead into battle that year. SmackDown was still the better brand in those days, and their team in this match proved as much. Props to Rey for eating another springboard superkick.
#4. Team RAW vs. Team SmackDown vs. Team NXT (2019): Probably too crowded and convoluted of a concept to make it a yearly tradition, but I loved the inclusion of NXT in ‘19. The black and gold brand was at its absolute hottest then, and the Chicago crowd’s reaction to their team throughout the match is proof of that. The triple threat formula brought a fresh element to the annual tradition. It kept your head on a swivel as a viewer because the action never dragged due to their always being a third man in the equation. And for the first time in years, we were able to enjoy a men’s Survivor Series match without Shane McMahon being forced into it.
Baron Corbin’s douchey nature leading to a couple of his teammates getting eliminated was a great touch. Walter/Gunther is knocked out way too early and you could make a case for Roman not needing to be the last man standing, but he also made Keith Lee look like a million bucks in a losing effort. 31 minutes is a perfect runtime too. Oftentimes these matches stretch on for the better part of an hour, and that’s just straight overkill.
#3. Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff (2003): These two had far better chemistry than any of us could’ve ever imagined. Kinda crazy considering their working relationship when Eric fired Steve from WCW. After roughly a year or so of getting back in the groove, HBK stole the night here with a performance reminiscent of mid ‘90s showstopper. Orton was in his Bron Breakker phase while tagging with the latter’s uncle, The Dudleys could never seem to get in sync with the matching ring attire, and Test was fully invested in Big Poppa Pump’s ‘roid regiment.
Cut me off if you’ve heard this one before, but a crimson-faced Michaels lifts his team out of a 3-1 hole and nearly overcomes the odds, only for Batista to hit the ring and cost Austin’s squad the match. This traditional 5-on-5 is pure chaos, but it ebbs and flows in a way that’s oh so satisfying. From Chris Jericho trash talking Stone Cold before the opening bell, to Austin and Bischoff inevitably coming to blows, to the brawl carrying them just far enough away for the heels to steal the victory, it’s superbly booked from start to finish.
#2. Team WWF vs. Team Alliance (2001): What’s funny about watching this ‘Winner Take All’ cluster back then as a naive 14-year old was how urgent everything felt. The invasion storyline truly had me believing it was a do or die situation, and that whoever lost would be out of a job. When in reality, most of Team WCW/ECW was comprised of WWE guys by the end of the angle, and nobody was really getting fired afterwards.
Now in retrospect, The Alliance letting Kurt Angle join them a couple weeks before Survivor Series was some silly ass booking. I always thought Jericho should’ve been the logical choice to defect, given his former ties to ECW & WCW (not to mention Y2J was already on the verge of a full-fledged heel turn). Eh, at least The Rock finally got to pin Austin on a major PPV. Kudos to Paul Heyman and J.R. for selling the tension and animosity brilliantly while calling the match. Anyone else ever notice though how Kane is always eliminated in the lamest, most jobberish of ways in these traditional Survivor Series matches? RVD seriously pinned this man with a diving thrust kick…
#1. Team Cena vs. Team Authority (2014): This match literally has it all. Abusive authority figures who are stressing the fuck out at ringside the entire time. High stakes that are laughably shortsighted in the grand scheme of things. Big Show’s annual heel turn. Meaty monsters pounding on one another. A hotly invested crowd. Cena not being one of the sole survivors for a change. Dolph Ziggler delivering a career defining performance, and it all climaxing with Sting’s longgggg overdue debut in WWE.
As overbearing as The Authority story arc could be at times, Hunter & Stephanie’s facial expressions and reactions here are priceless. Triple H is so worked up that he’s tempted to break up several pin attempts during the closing sequence between Dolph and Seth; eventually leading to him assaulting multiple referees. Whether it’s Mark Henry getting immediately knocked out by Big Show, or team captain Cena’s shocking elimination around the midway point, this Survivor Series classic keeps you on your toes while constantly second guessing what’s coming next. The only critique I have years later is Rollins not being able to kick out of a zigzag he took like 8 minutes earlier, but that minor detail gets lost in the spectacle of Sting’s timely arrival. The face in peril finally prevails in one of these high pressure situations, The Authority meets their match, and the members of Team Cena keep their jobs thanks to Dolph’s heroics. We’ll just ignore most of them getting storyline fired anyway shortly thereafter.
Your boy SkitZ knows it’s unlikely that many people are reading wrestling articles during a holiday weekend, but what say the masses? Do you have any favorite traditional Survivor Series matches that I failed to mention? Is my list a predictable pile of doody crumbs? Sound off. Show me a sign of life. Anything!