IWC Scum — Playing Bookie for WrestleMania 41: Who’s Gonna Be Unlucky When We Reach Vegas?

Welcome back to the column that puts the incessant whining and complaining in IWC. I’m a morally bankrupt mark named SkitZ, and here’s the deal you childish gambinos.

I’ve gotta eat my words and agree with Psykohurricane’s sentiments in his Elimination Chamber review. My pessimistic ass literally scoffed at Triple H’s “industy-changing weekend” tweet, and now he and The Rock are laughing all the way to record profits. I certainly never envisioned John Cena turning heel in this lifetime. Or Travis Scott stiffing Cody in the cheek bone for that matter. 

Just when you start sorting out the right card formation for WrestleMania, The Game shuffles his deck and we’re suddenly more clueless than before. Alexa versus Liv Morgan might end up making the show, as could Jade vs. Naomi and possibly Bayley/Roxanne. The same goes for Sami-Kross, Balor battling Styles, and Bron Breakker defending his Intercontinental Title against half of RAW’s roster. It’s a total crapsoot, so I figured why not play my hand at the matches that WWE’s made official, as well as a few predictable outcomes?

— Priest / McIntyre

Here’s a match with not much riding on it that’s bound to get lost in the shuffle. It’s fair to say we all believe Drew deserves better from the shot-callers. He hasn’t been the Chosen One since Mr. McMahon wiped his ass with the COVID crisis and shit the bed on McIntyre’s push. Having said that however, flipping out over the nature of your Rumble elimination and complaining about your ‘Mania opponent isn’t gonna help your case. In fact, you know what that type of backstage bitching gets you? A meaningless match against Priest on the undercard! 

Criticisms aside, I feel kinda bad for Damian so far here in 2025. There’s plenty of people who weren’t comfortable with how much love bisexual Undertaker received from the company last year, but he delivered in spades if you ask me. Priest improved his promo game and did the WHC justice, so how come fans stopped caring practically overnight after he left the Judgment Day and switched shows? That popless entrance of his at Elimination Chamber was brutal. 

Damian Priest doesn’t have a prayer if he squares off against the Scottish Psychopath in Sin City. Plus, Drew owes him a receipt for Clash at the Castle last summer. Smart money is on McIntyre being the heavy favorite.  

— Charlotte / Tiffany ©

This battle of the blondes became a safe bet as soon as Flair declared herself for the Women’s Rumble match. It’s hardly one of the main attractions heading into WM41 though. Viewers will get their money’s worth of course, but we’ll mostly be paying close attention to see if The Queen does what’s best for business. Charlotte may have a checkered past at ‘Mania in terms of wins and losses, but she’s burned me on a number of occasions (I thought Asuka and NXT Champ Rhea had it in the bag!).  

Flair missed a ton of time due to injury, and apparently she received more surgery to her face than her knee while absent from WWE. Charlotte hasn’t held gold in nearly 2 years, which seems like an eternity for The Queen. Such an unusually long dry spell has me wondering if her number is set to be called upon. Then there’s Stratton, who I frankly don’t care much for as a babyface. Tiffany rode a wave of momentum all the way to becoming Women’s Champion, but she’s been treading water ever since. Her character screams entitled Barbie, much like her muscle mommy of a ‘Mania opponent.

Does Flair take a page out of Andrade’s playbook and do the job? Or has Stratton paid enough dues to retain? Odds are Charlotte robs Tiffany of her WrestleMania moment en route to a 15th World Title. Cue Naitch cutting a congrats promo on X with an unnecessary amount of capitalized words.     

— Owens / Orton

Wait a second, didn’t we see these two dudes compete in the same match at WMXL? Granted, Kevin’s undergone a serious role reversal since then, but I guess R-KO still has some gas left in the tank even after sharing a golf cart to Philly last year. It’s hard to imagine that these two have never taken part in a proper program, but better late than never. You know what happens when Randy teams with somebody long enough… KO simply beat Orton to the punch. Matt Riddle on the other hand waited so long for his work dad to return that he started tagging security officers at the airport. Riddle really did blossom into a young Randy in the end. How adorable.  

One might assume The Viper’s in line for a big victory in Vegas after being sidelined by Owens months ago, but not so fast. Cody Rhodes hung a lot of L’s on Kevin throughout their feud. Orton gains nothing by going over, and KO has been killin’ it during his current heel run. I predict the company builds on Kevin’s absolute wrecking of Sami at Elimination Chamber, and thus I’m betting the house on Owens to beat Randy.  

…..Can you bet the house if you rent an apartment?

I should probably get my affairs in order.

— Solo / Jacob

We wouldn’t even be having this discussion if Sikoa hadn’t been such a whack ass stand-in while the real Tribal Chief was on vacation. Solo never really stepped out of Roman’s shadow, and even once he took the reins, Jacob Fatu arrived shortly thereafter to turn Sikoa into a lame leader by default. Solo served as Cody’s dullest of challengers in 2024, and I’m hoping like hell these recent blindside attacks on Rhodes don’t result in more future matches between the two. Sikoa can’t lace Jacob’s boots, and Tama Tonga’s catchphrase is more over than his whole body of work. Can you tell I’m not exactly the biggest supporter of Solo’s?

Sorry for piling on, but The Weeknd cosplayer has simply failed to impress me beyond his role as Roman’s stoic enforcer. Meanwhile, Fatu is drawing huge reactions from every crowd and you’d be a fool to sleep on his ascension. Hunter obviously has big plans for the Samoan Werewolf, so buckle in because these Bloodline story arcs always deliver on the Road to WrestleMania.

Had Jacob turned up in WWE sooner, he probably would’ve usurped Solo awhile ago. Regardless, I’m banking on Fatu taking his rightful place at the forefront of the family while Reigns handles little brother Seth.   

— Bianca / Rhea ©

In many ways, this long-awaited showdown feels 5 years in the making. Since they joined the main roster in early 2020, the similarities between Belair and Ripley career-wise have been crazy. Both women have won a Royal Rumble, both have captured and retained a World Title at WrestleMania, both have reigned as champion for over a year, become a multi-time Women’s Champion, as well as a multi-time Tag Team Champion. Bianca dominated the Women’s Division from 2021-23, and Rhea’s owned it over the past 2 years. Ripley got her hands on more gold while in NXT, but aside from that, these two are as evenly matched as it gets.  

Mami just reclaimed the title on RAW’s Netflix debut, but her reign is already in serious jeopardy. I’d be all for a three-way that also involved Iyo Sky, but an unreliable source tells me she draws the short straw at WrestleMania this year, so take this with several grains of salt. I honestly thought Belair would go on to face Jade after Cargill resurfaced and blamed her bestie for not being present at the time of the attack. So much for my keen instincts and credibility…

Despite my shortcomings, I expect The EST to cover the spread against Rhea and emerge victorious by the slimmest of margins.    

— Seth  / Roman / CM Punk

You scroll across each social media platform, and one thing’s for certain: absolutely nobody within the IWC is excited about the likelihood of this happening. And I must admit, a triple threat including three top stars with no title or comparative stakes on the lines makes little to no sense. Rollins is obsessed with ruining his former mentor’s path to WrestleMania, but Punk and Roman are prize fighters. I highly doubt either would agree to tangle with Seth at WM41 if there were no added incentive. Rollins took out Reigns at the Royal Rumble and dashed Punk’s dreams at Elimination Chamber in the bitchiest of bitch moves. That can’t be the extent of it though. Something’s missing from this equation.      

I’ve bounced the scenario around in my brain for the last month or so, and then it finally hit me yesterday. No, not a migraine. More like a concept that could potentially solve all of the issues plaguing this storyline. What if WWE did indeed book this three-way for Night 1; with a stipulation in place that the winner be added to Cena/Cody on Night 2? Roman and Punk are able to exact revenge on Seth, and imagine if the frequently teased favor is Paul Heyman screwing over Reigns… mind blown to pieces.

Feel free to steal my idea, Triple H. Jot this down. CM Punk hits the jackpot in Vegas, and earns entry into his first WrestleMania main event on Night 2.    

— Jey Uso / Gunther ©

As crazy as it sounds, I’ve actually read rumors about Gunther squashing Jey at WrestleMania (probably the same know-nothing’s who reported Drew winning the men’s Chamber to be a lock). You’ve gotta have more screws loose than R-Truth to think Gunther’s dropping the hammer on Uce like that. This storied rematch ain’t for the SlapFight Championship. Nah, the colorful crowd pleaser has been down this road too many times before to not cash in on his sure-luck of a 7th attempt. 

I’d wager that the World Heavyweight Title bout either opens Night 1 or falls in the middle of the card somewhere (Pat McAfee might just YEET himself into a torn rotator cuff). Furthermore, I’m willing to bet all the chips scattered across my table on Jey Uso leaving WM41 with Gunter’s gold. That includes a bag of UTZ Honey Barbecue Chips, Cool Ranch Doritos, Chili Cheese Fritos and Andy Capp’s Hot Fries. Everything’s up for grabs!   

— Cena / Cody ©

This easily could’ve played out as white bread John Cena taking on cookie cutter Cody Rhodes in his quest to make history, and my pasty ass would’ve happily accepted it as a WrestleMania main event. The top babyface of the company today versus their top babyface of yesteryear. Cody has reigned as WWE Champion for upwards of 330 days, Cena’s career comes to a close in 10 months, something’s gotta give. And boyyy did it ever Saturday night in Toronto. Mr. Make-A-Wish staring dead into the camera following the heel turn of the century gave me Kim Jong Un vibes with that hairdo of his. Final Boss Rock and Hollywood Cena joining forces is universally diabolical. You throw witch doctor Travis Scott’s cringey incantations in the mix and POOF – the nWo has practically been raised from the dead.

I was prepared to bet every piece of WWE memorabilia in my possession on The American Nightmare aligning himself with The Rock and turning full corporate villain. We’re talking 5 unboxed Funko Pops, 2 dirty collector’s cups, 8 tattered magazines, and 47 dusty DVDs that are now worthless thanks to streaming apps. Glad I didn’t gamble them away though, because The Final Boss had the ultimate trump card up his sleeve; calling our collective bluffs with the most shocking hand gesture imaginable. Black Adam has lured SuperCena to the dark side, and it’s gonna be sweet delicious cinema from here on forward. I’m kinda hoping Cena doesn’t appear on RAW or SmackDown for the next couple weeks, and they just air him cutting heel promos from his movie trailer to piss people off. No more of this universal praise. I want anger and Twitter tantrums dammit. 

The wrestling world is abuzz over John Cena’s actions. He’s the ace in the hole that this ‘Mania season needed to stir the pot. If I’m playing bookie, Cena leaves Las Vegas with the WWE Championship after besting Cody by hook or crook. Fingers crossed that the roulette wheel lands on black 17. 

Twitter: writersblock_skitz (@SirSkitzAlot)

Email: skitztmrlop@gmail.com

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