Where does Stone Cold Steve Austin rank in the list of greatest stones of all time?

Just kidding. Maybe some other time.

No, my purpose today is to discuss a topic that’s become relatively controversial in recent times: entrance music.

Now, on the one hand there are plenty of people who believe entrance music has been going slowly downhill since the Attitude Era. They long for the sexy saxophones of Val Venis, the faux-disco vibes of Grand Master Sexay and the generic porno music used for pretty much every female wrestler of the age. And there’s validity to that argument; after all, WWF: The Music albums were a big deal. Volumes 3 & 4 both went Platinum in the US, while Volume 5 actually charted as high as #2 on the Billboard 200. In historical terms, that means WWF: The Music Volume 5 outperformed every album by The Clash, every Elton John album since 1975, and all but one album by The 1975.

TL:DR (although if you’re skipping to this already then I’d argue you probably shouldn’t be clicking on the Opinions page) these albums consisting entirely of wrestler theme songs sold incredibly well.

However, it’s not the quality of the theme songs that led to the decline of these albums. Partly it was the dip in popularity wrestling experienced post-2002, but also the music landscape has completely changed. Every wrestling theme you could want is forever at your fingertips thanks to Spotify, YouTube and the like (other outlets are available). It would be so beyond asinine of WWE to try flogging albums anymore that it would be asi-ten!

In counter, an argument is occasionally made that today’s themes are better than those of the past. While I’m not 100% convinced by that, I can see the logic behind it. One thing largely missing from the Attitude Era is the mass singalongs we experience now. Say what you like about his current output, Jericho’s music-less entrance in AEW is an all-time great crowd moment. I’d also argue that wrestlers are learning to use their theme songs as more than ‘just’ an entrance. Finn Balor’s NXT theme is a perfect case-in-point; it adds to his entrance in such a way that you immediately get a feel for the character, and the time taken over that choreography gives the impression that he’s top-tier, even before he’s entered the ring.

Ultimately it’s subjective, isn’t it? Both sides of the argument can make rational points about their opinions but there’s no way to declare themselves definitively right or wrong. Congratulations, IWC. You’ve successfully found a place of peace, where everyone can accept the other side has a valid argument without the need to convince them otherwise. Peace at last. Isn’t it wonderful? Well…

You’re both wrong.

A wrestler’s entrance song does not matter.

Take a breath. Pause. Compose yourself. I’ll wait. Can I get you a cuppa in the meantime?

Now, let’s continue. Pay careful attention to my phrasing: a wrestler’s entrance song does not matter. I enjoy Judas by Fozzy as much as the next man, but honestly? I don’t think it’s as good a wrestling theme as Jericho’s iconic WWE theme. Equally I’d argue that Kingdom by Downstait is a perfectly acceptable radio rock song but a fairly poor wrestling theme. When it comes to an entrance theme, the song itself doesn’t matter. What matters is the first three-to-five seconds.

The glass breaking. “If ya smell…” Two quick bursts of static. The descending trumpets. “Ah-ah-Shawn!” The gong. The countdown. The ominous church organ. “Oh, you didn’t know?” If you’re a wrestling fan, you know exactly who I’m referring to from a description of the first five seconds of their music in less than five words. These are a mere handful of the iconic soundbites from recent wrestling history and they’re all achieved without the need for a full song behind them.

These tiny snippets of audio, barely longer than my average lovemaking performance, are what really matters to a wrestler. It’s got to be impactful so the audience knows someone is coming. It’s got to be unique so the audience knows who is coming. Then the rest of the song should be drowned out in a roar of approval or a hail of boos.

Let’s go back to one of my favourite moments ever: the return of CM Punk at Survivor Series. The static burst is audible, but then the volume of the crowd hits such levels that the producer could’ve switched over to The Ketchup Song and nobody would’ve noticed. THAT is what I want from an entrance theme, the ability to switch a crowd from off to on with a snippet of sound.

So, with that in mind and (I can’t stress this enough) paying NO attention to the actual song itself, let’s discuss:

 

The Best Wrestling Entrance Themes Ever

Number Fifteen: “Whooooooaaaaaaa SCUNTHORPE! Don’t you DARE be sour…” (New Day)

If we ever get to hear this again, it will blow the roof off the building. The unbreakable popularity of Big E has been proven time and time again, and the sound of his voice ringing through the speakers is a perfect way to bring the power of positivity to the audience.

Like many of the songs on this list, the tune itself is really quite generic; but the impact of his voice swelling through the arena and thousands of people joining in is genuinely brilliant. One of the many, many little touches New Day have applied over the years to achieve the greatness they richly deserve.

 

Number Fourteen: The Echo (Brock Lesnar)

I’ve spent a lot of time in the music industry. Was I successful? I’ll leave you guessing but suffice to say I’m not surrounded by bikini-clad models while I’m writing this article. Other than my Mum’s friend Colin of course, but he really can’t pull off that look. Anyway.

I have no idea how they created this particular sound. I’m sure I could Google it (other search engines are available) but I quite enjoy the mystery. Whatever it is, it carries an unmistakeable sense of menace and power. Perfect for announcing the arrival of The Beast, Brock Lesnar.

 

Number Thirteen: “You Think You Know Me” (Edge)

Honestly, I was torn by this one. In fact, I’d go as far as to say half of me doesn’t think it warrants a place on the list because it originated as “just” part of a fairly generic entrance theme. But it’s stayed with Edge the whole way through one of the most remarkable careers we’ve ever seen, moving from song to song and always somehow making sense.

After the original Edge & Christian theme, “You Think You Know Me” heralded first Rob Zombie and then Alter Bridge, two genuinely excellent songs (I’d go as far as to say Metalingus is a top 100 metal song of all time, at least). But instead of detracting from such great entrance music, the vocal hit actually added to them. And for that reason I have to say it deserves recognition.

 

Number Twelve: Sierra Hotel Indigo Echo Lima Delta (SHIELD)

Would this be in the top 15 if The Shield hadn’t become such an incredibly successful faction? Perhaps not, but a good intro is intrinsically tied to the people that use it. This is especially true when it’s their actual voices performing said introduction.

The first iteration of The Shield is inarguably their greatest. Every subsequent reunion was special because of that initial run, where they ran roughshod over the roster. It could be argued that The Shield benefitted the most from McMahon’s poor booking of Nexus as mistakes were clearly made… but that’s an article for another day.

What we can say is that this introduction was unique, impactful, and perfectly represented the characters whose arrival it heralded.

 

Number Eleven: It’s All About That Boom (Adam Cole)

That’s right, AEW nerds – get ready for some hardcore complimenting all over your faces. I love this intro. I loved it the first time I heard it and my affection for it has grown on every subsequent playing. It’s a rarity in the AEW world where the song itself is just as good as the introduction. That Rage Against The Machine-esque riff and vocal style hits different to anything else on the roster.

Most of the best wrestling themes ever work because they’re tied to the character. I’d argue that this is one of those rare exceptions (see also: Glorious – Bobby Roode, Violins – Shinsuke Nakamura, ChaChaLaLa – Fandango). This theme gets over whoever is using it. That it’s attached to one of AEW’s bigger names (at least when he arrived) only adds to its impact.

 

Number Ten: Glass Breaking (Stone Cold Steve Austin)

Controversial? Perhaps. This is arguably the iconic three-second intro of the Attitude Era, and therefore arguably the most recognisable wrestling theme of all time.  And listen, it’s very, very, very cool. I’m not downplaying the impact it has on the audience, but FOR ME it’s overrated.

I’d also suggest there’s an inconsistency between the theme and the character… Yes, Stone Cold Steve Austin is a beer-swillin’ hardcore Texan, but that makes me think he’d actually take quite good care of his beer bottles and glasses. Breaking a glass every time he arrives is not just poor form, it’s financially irresponsible. He must go through glassware at a fair rate of knots, and I’m sure you’ll agree it’s about time someone called him out on it. So there.

 

Number Nine: “Oh You Didn’t Know?” (Road Dogg / New Age Outlaws)

Brian James has charisma coursing through his veins. The man has the gift of the gab and uses it to perfection. It’s one of the most recognisable crowd calls of the Attitude Era, and proves my point brilliantly because the song that follows is essentially just one big generic riff. And yet any crowd worth its salt has come immediately unglued.

Why is it as low as number eight? Call it pernickety, but it bugs me just how often he starts out of key. After years of doing it night-in and night-out it should be flawless. It isn’t. Just practice that first note a little bit more, Road Dogg.

 

Number Eight: Static Bursts (CM Punk)

Shocker, right? CM Punk appears in a Jack Murray column… But this genuinely is a perfect example of an intro enhancing the song. Alluding back to Punk’s transcendental moment each time his music hits is a stroke of genius. It creates a more impactful moment than the lo-fi guitars of Living Colour and doubles as a reminder of why he made it to the pinnacle of wrestling in the first place.

As always, I think it’s important to acknowledge my own bias as a big CM Punk fan, but I defy anyone to create a convincing argument for its exclusion from this list. Go ahead. I’m listening.

 

Number Seven: The Countdown (Chris Jericho)

Congratulations Chris Jericho… You just made the list!

My sincere apologies to both Fozzy fans in the world, but this is a better entrance than Judas. I’d go so far as to say it’s genius. After all, which other wrestler can decide whether he wants the crowd to pop after 10 seconds, 5 seconds, 3 seconds, or anywhere in between?

My quibble with the countdown is that it’s often considered ‘optional’. I understand the logic behind wanting a big hit of pyro and straight into the song, but it’s not for me. You’ve got an iconic start that always gets the crowd going, don’t skimp on it. Jericho’s genuinely surprising return to Royal Rumble as entry #2 would’ve been far better if they’d used the countdown. It’s the Rumble! If ever there was a time… Alas.

 

Number Six: “Well?” (Big Show)

Let’s get this straight immediately: I mean the EARLIER version of the song (see: Royal Rumble 2001) that was sung by Michael Hayes. If you didn’t know that little nugget of trivia, you’re not alone. I’ve loved this theme for a long time and until researching this column had no idea it was sung by Freebird.

Full credit to Michael Hayes and the production team, the vocals sound enormous. I’m still upset they changed it in 2006 and with Paul Wight in AEW it’s a very real possibility that we’ll never hear it again. But if you’re a younger fan, go back and listen to how perfectly those opening few seconds fit the arrival of Big Show. Let me know what you think in the comments below.

…

Well?

 

Number Five: Car Crash (Mick Foley)

Now, full disclosure: many a wrestling theme has made its way onto my driving playlist over the years; Mick Foley’s is the only one that makes me jump every single time it comes on. It’s loud, it’s dramatic, and (particularly when you’re behind the wheel) it’s terrifying. But it also perfectly sums up the career of Mick Foley.

In many ways, Mick Foley’s career was a car crash for a number of years. Filled with incredible stunts, hardcore violence, deathmatches… He put his body through more than any fender-bender, all for the love of wrestling. And again, the song itself is really pretty bland. But that doesn’t matter because the first three seconds are perfect.

 

Number Four: WARNING! (Right To Censor)

Minimalist music originated in the early 1960s in the USA. Generally considered a bit of a niche art form, the genre focuses on using limited songwriting materials. Most people don’t listen to it and, if they did, wouldn’t like it anyway. So, it’s rare to see it pop up anywhere mainstream.

For a group that could only ever work as heels, this was perfect. Completely devoid of anything interesting, annoying as hell, and almost painfully loud. If you’re too young to remember it head over to YouTube and have a listen for 3 seconds; congratulations, you’ve effectively heard the entire “song”.

The RTC siren made many an audience’s blood collectively boil even before they’d opened their mouths, and for that it deserves this lofty position on the list.

 

Number Three: Motorhead (Triple H)

It’s Time To Play The Game. Evolution Is A Mystery. Bow Down To The King.

If one of the world’s most iconic rock bands records your entrance theme, you deserve a place on this list. If you convince them to pen three different entrance themes for you? You deserve to win the whole damn thing!

Almost.

Starting with a very loud power chord is as simple as it gets, but when that’s followed by the raspy vocals of Lemmy declaring that the clocks struck game-time… It’s a powerful, powerful opening three seconds.

 

Number Two: The Scream (Paige)

I have no idea what that sound actually is, but I know it’s attention-grabbing. Unlike my #1 pick (which I’m sure you’ve guessed by now) this one is arguably hurt by its associations. Paige deserves a huge amount of credit for the current position of women’s wrestling, but I’m fairly confident the last outing of this iconic entrance was as part of her failed stable.

An argument can be made that this scream really signalled the genesis of the women’s revolution. Paige’s debut and immediate title win marked a real shift in the division, not least in the music. Female wrestlers didn’t get distorted guitars in their entrance themes. They had synths, generic drum machine beats, and (if they were given enough character to warrant lyrics) a female singer to match their gender.

Enter Paige.

It was different, it was loud, and it heralded a revolution.

 

Number One: The Bell (Undertaker)

Sure, it’s helped by being associated with arguably the most iconic character of all time. I’m not sure the effect would’ve been the same if they used it for Al Snow. In fact, I’ll go further. Get ready for a controversial statement.

This would definitely not be #1 if it was Al Snow’s entrance theme.

Fortunately, Al Snow has nothing to do with this theme. The church bell is so impactful that it’s followed by absolute silence, and that doesn’t matter. The arrival of The Undertaker is peerless. It’s that simple. It’s impactful, iconic, inevitable, incredible… It’s perfect.

 

So there we are, dear reader. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for sticking with me. I’m genuinely looking forward to the comment section of this piece as I’m sure you all have your own favourite wrestling intros.

As you can probably imagine, this piece was mostly written to a soundtrack of the best wrestling themes ever. Honourable mentions belong to the following:

Val Venis’ “Hello Ladies”.

Bobby Roode’s “Glorious”.

John Cena’s horns.

The Rock asking if we smell what he’s cooking.

And Santino Marella’s opera.