Going Broadway: Are You A Wrestling Troll? Take the Test!
A JDB Shorthand
Are you an internet wrestling troll?
“Why JDB, of course I’m not an internet troll! I am the best kind of wrestling fan.” You might say this…
There are plenty of ways to hold a productive wrestling discussion with others without making yourself into a pretentious prick. On the other hand, maybe you also live under a bridge. Take this test and find out!
The Wrestling Troll Test
1. You comment publicly on wrestling promotions you do not watch
Why are you doing this? From Twitter to Facebook, you see this often. Fans will often comment and tear down wrestling promotions they don’t even watch. Whether it’s a WWE fan ripping on AEW, or a smarky Indies fan looking down at WWE, this is something a juvenile would do. What grade are you in? Are you lashing out because middle school is tough?
If you don’t “get” Indies wrestling or enjoy New Japan, that is totally okay. If you enjoy puroresu (like I do) and high workrates, this is also okay. There’s no need to bash each other’s favorite promotions for a difference of opinion.
If you answered “yes”, give yourself 1 point.
2. You aren’t qualified to comment on professional wrestling but do so with hubris
Have you worked in the wrestling industry? In the past, have you interviewed various professional wrestlers? Perhaps you’ve read and studied the craft through multiple mediums? Do you watch more than three promotions consistently?
If “no” to any of these, you may want to check yourself. It’s one thing to be a life-long WWE fan that watches only WWE, and a fan that grew up watching a dozen promotions, and is studied and extremely familiar with the history of the sport.
Now mind you, this only applies to those who act like they know it all in their comments. Of course I am not saying that you need to be a wrestling historian to have a valid opinion. But many seem to think they have it all figured out when they really don’t…
Even some opinion writers for wrestling sites aren’t qualified to write on some of these subjects. It’s a grey area, I know, but a line needs to be drawn between those who truly understand and get the business, and those who just like to “act” like they know what they’re talking about.
If you answered “yes”, give yourself 1 point.
3. “Who?”
Nothing irks me more than a vapid fan who comments with “who” regarding news of a wrestler they don’t know. This happens a lot with wrestlers who aren’t in WWE. When Sadie Gibbs retired earlier this year, many commented with “who”? on social media as some sort of cute joke.
It’s not cute, it’s dim-witted.
Gibbs wrestled in Stardom, Pro Wrestling: EVE, AEW and many more. Your lack of wrestling knowledge beyond the mainstream doesn’t mean other talents around the world are less valid.
Do you do this? If so, please stop.
If you answered “yes”, give yourself 1 point.
4. You Use TV Ratings in Arguments
It’s a bit silly to use TV ratings in debates over the success of promotions. RAW hit its lowest rating of the year on Monday, but that doesn’t mean the company is in dire straits. AEW dipped below a million viewers again, but that doesn’t negate their 2022 multi-million dollar move to TBS.
It doesn’t need repeating that you likely aren’t directly involved in the financials of these companies. The only individuals who can truly comment on what ratings mean and don’t mean are those within the business itself, on the financial side.
It’s not the 90s anymore. TV ratings simply do not mean what they meant decades ago, especially not with cord cutters and a plethora of streaming options.
Stop doing this.
If you answered “yes”, give yourself 1 point.
5. You Claim a Wrestler Has Been “Buried”
I want Aleister Black to headline a major PPV as much as anyone else would. Hell, have him be the force that finally dethrones Roman Reigns and starts a feud with The Fiend shortly thereafter.
This all sounds great in my head, but I don’t work for WWE. An opinion is just an opinion. However, when many claim Black was “buried”, the opinion becomes unfalsifiable.
Most times when conspiracy theorists hold grandiose ideologies of the world, they’re often unfalsifiable. These are when claims are based on speculation and misinterpreted data to fit a narrative.
There is usually no way to prove the claim “wrong” even if evidence exists to the contrary. An example of this is the largely debunked 9/11 conspiracy theory. No evidence actually exists of a conspiracy theory, and any evidence given to support otherwise is misinterpreted and turned into a narrative.
Anyway, I digress…
When someone comments on a “burial” it’s something that technically CAN be proven wrong. It’s an opinion that can be falsified, because a truth exists, even if you don’t have access to it. Unless you’re backstage at production meetings where Vince McMahon himself is telling his staff “We’re going to bury that son-of-a-bitch Aleister Black”, your opinion just looks less than.
But you aren’t backstage, so your opinion turns into an unfalsifiable one, and it makes you look dumb.
It’s B-squad bullshit.
I personally don’t believe any wrestler gets buried, but that creative just doesn’t have anything for them. Often, if a wrestler is getting a push halted, it’s likely for a good reason.
Let’s remember the case of Tay Conti. According to Conti, WWE officials did not want to let her out of her contract because they feared she would end up in AEW. They knew her potential (which is now on display in AEW), but simply didn’t have the room for her on the card at the time.
See? A truth revealed. No burial.
If you answered “yes”, give yourself 1 point.
6. You Hate Dave Meltzer and Other Journalists
I wrote about this recently, but anyone who goes out of their way to insult wrestling journalists is a stain on the industry. Your inability to understand the process of journalism, wrestling or politics, shows a lot here.
Journalism is not an easy process, and it requires a lot of fact-checking, gaining trust through your sources, and tedious work.
There is a difference between news and opinion, conjecture and evidence, and breaking news and an editorial. If you don’t fully grasp these concepts, yet still tear down wrestling journalists, then you are a grade-A dalcop of a troll.
Most times journalists get it right. But they are also human, and leaked information can also be inaccurate. Many understand this and know how to read their news (wrestling and other) properly. Unfortunately, many also do not, and decide to spew pretentious word vomit instead.
If you answered “yes”, give yourself 1 point.
7. You Sexualize Women’s Wrestling
Anyone that I see long for the days where women were treated like objects screams half-brained incel to me. These are the same pissants who comment with “Who?” on ESPN Facebook posts regarding the WNBA.
It’s okay not to like women’s wrestling. It’s okay to find these women attractive. What’s not okay is reducing an entire sect of the industry to bra and panties.
Grow up. Find some porn on the internet, and try doing something productive with your life. Unless you’re a troll…
If you answered “yes”, give yourself 1 point.
8. You’re a Horrible Person Who Makes Generally Horrible Comments
This was an actual comment made on a post regarding the death of Alexa Bliss’s pet pig who recently passed away:
“I guess karma is a bitch. F*cking a storyline up and breaking kayfabe all the time came back and hit her hard.”
Seriously, what is wrong with you? This isn’t uncommon, either. Many fans will find ways to completely insult a wrestler’s looks, personal life, and anything else they can find. These are real human beings with real lives.
They don’t need negative fans who clearly need some level of therapy to try and bring them down. (Let’s face it, we could all use therapy of some sort)
If you answered “yes”, give yourself 1 point.
How Did You Do?
0 Points: Troll Level: Mick Foley | (Everyone probably likes you! You’re not a complete dick)
1-3 Points: Troll Level: Mantaur | (Funny, harmless, but stupid)
4-6 points: Troll Level: The Shockmaster | (You’ve just crashed through a wall. Please don’t get up…)
7-8 Points: Troll Level: Glenn Gilbertti | (Everyone isn’t really sure why you’re here and just wants you to go away)
Going Home
We can be better fans, collectively. This is something I’ve written about extensively, and all I can hope is the message gets out. If you need help, here are some reminders on how to be a good wrestling fan and not a troll:
-The wrestling universe is bigger than WWE. Respect all universes and promotions.
–You don’t work for AEW/WWE/NJPW, etc. Remember this.
-Respect wrestling journalists. Want to do better? Become a reporter.
-Read up on wrestling history and understand the business if you aren’t directly in it.
-It’s okay for fans to like wrestling promotions, and wrestlers, that you don’t like.
-There is no need to comment on everything.
-Constructive and concise comments only make the fanbase look better. Destructive and crude comments bring us all down.
-We all watch and enjoy wrestling differently.
I’m sure there’s more I could add to that list, but I’ll leave it there for now. Oddly enough, my “test” ended up being 8 questions long, much like one of my favorite YouTube channel’s (Wrestling With Wregret) wrestling lists.
So with that, I’ll echo the words of Brian Zane:
“Like what you like…don’t be a dick”
-JDB