Wrestle Review: Rumble young man, Rumble
Submitted by Andy Sullivan on 01/30/2021 at 12:10 PM

Why not title this Royal Rumble column after a famous Muhammed Ali quote, right? Daniel Bryan got the ball rolling when he became the first to declare himself for the Rumble. It's interesting that some got to declare while others had to qualify. At least Adam Pearce kayfabe explained it on Twitter when someone mentioned it. It was bookended with a returning Braun Stroman last night. Of course Stroman won't win. Bryan won't either. Remember the one year they played with our emotions until they nonchalantly tossed him and ticked us all off? I bet they do that again this year.

Dolph(whose brother made his AEW jobber debut this past week), a returning Edge, Sami Zayn, Mustafa Ali, Jeff Hardy, Cesaro, Otis the town drunk(sorry, that's the Andy Griffith Show-look it up kids), Jey Uso, AJ Styles are just some of the talent that won't win the Royal Rumble this weekend. I don't know who will win. This is the first year in a long time where there isn't really a clear favorite. That makes this year's edition the most exciting to me. I can tell you who won't win: Miz, Braun Stroman, Cesaro, Jeff Hardy, any old-school star returning for the event(except for maybe Edge), Sami Zayn, Xavier Woods, Ali, Otis, Jey Uso. Although, I'd love a Jey Uso-Roman Reigns story like years ago when Batista won and challenged Triple H, thus elevating his future Hall of Fame career. I'd be cool with Edge, Big E or AJ winning. Just don't throw away the Rumble like you did Money In The Bank.

For the fourth straight year, the women have their chance to earn a WrestleMania title shot by winning a Royal Rumble. Last year, of course, Charlotte used her win to "elevate" the NXT Championship, stealing it from Rhea Ripley and sending her career into a pretty much freefall. Kudos, WWE. The year before, Becky Lynch won the Rumble and went onto Mania and win the title. Nia, Charlotte, Bayley, Bianca, Mandy, Dana, Peyton, Shayna, Ruby, Tamina, Liv and Alexa are just some who make up the women's Rumble tomorrow. Who wins? Probably Charlotte. Although I wouldn't bet against Lacey and Ric Flair costing her the match. Maybe they could harken back to the 1992 Rumble. For those who don't recall, an eliminated Hulk Hogan extended and shook the hand of a non-eliminated Sid Justice. Ric Flair comes up from behind and helps Hulk take Sid out, thus giving Ric the win and the championship. He'd go onto lose it to the late "Macho Man" at WreslteMania VIII.I think Charlotte is one of the two final entries, she falls for the same routine Hogan fell for in '92 and gets tossed by the eventual winner. Who will that be? Hopefully not Lacey but knowing WWE, probably Lacey.

The Universal Championship match is such a given. I know it's just the second meeting between Reigns and Owens for the title this time around but it feels like more. It was going to be Adam Pearce. Okay, he was never a realistic option. Thankfully they gave the shot to Owens, though he'll just lose again.

Asuka and Charlotte defend(and lose) the tag team titles to Nia and Shayna. This should add extra fire to whenever these four cross paths in the Rumble. And will this be where Charlotte turns on Asuka? Will it be later? Will they swerve us and have Asuka turn? Either way, I think we see new champs.

WWE continues their recycling them with a rematch of Sasha vs Carmella. The worst WrestleMania match you could have would be Lacey vs Carmella. Surely they won't do that. That'd be heel vs heel and Vince doesn't like doing that too much.

They're building up Lashley vs Riddle for the U.S. Championship and a Zayn/Big E rematch but those aren't official. How many rematches do we really need tomorrow night? Besides, the rematch show is usually after WrestleMania.

We close with Goldberg vs Drew McIntyre for the WWE Championship. I pray to God they don't put the WWE Championship on Goldberg. It would be a mistake but WWE is known to make that mistake a lot. Drew in the main event two WrestleMania's in a row after toiling all those years would be sweet. I really hope(and think) that's how this goes. I originally thought "oh no! Goldberg is winning the title). I mean, he's never been WWE Champion....

I hope everyone enjoys the Rumble this weekend. Oh, and for everyone who says anything about old guys returning for WWE events and WWE's use of celebrity, I offer this: The past few weeks on AEW Dynamite there has been at least one botch. Cody Rhodes vs Shaq is happening at Revolution, as is "but he won't be wrestling, surely" Sting and Darby vs Team Taz. Listen, I like AEW but...well that's another column altogether.

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