Hello everyone and welcome to Planet Kayfabe. I'm glad you could join me for this preview of WWE Hell in a Cell for 2018 which takes place this Sunday live from the AT&T Center in San Antonio, Texas. Let's get straight into the card.
** PRE SHOW**
The New Day (c) vs. Rusev and Aiden English (Tag team match for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship)
Yup, they had this big tag team tournament just to throw this match on the pre-show, which was announced today, Friday afternoon. So, that's great. It probably means there will be a rematch on Smackdown like they typically do with pre-show matches. The New Day recently regained the tag-team championships to become five time champions. I don't see them losing them this soon. Not too long ago they were pushing towards a split between Rusev and English, but English helped him out once after f***ing up a bunch of other matches between he and Lana and suddenly all is good... or is it? Yeah. Look out for the swerve. Even though Rusev Day is popular I could see Rusev turning. I'm not saying I would do it, but lately this company seems to want to turn everyone that you enjoy cheering and not turn the one guy you enjoy booing. What a time.
Or... it could just end in a clean win and English takes the fall and no further angle is shot. Who knows. Either way I think The New Day keeps the gold... or silver. Whatever those belts are made of.
**MAIN CARD** (unless they change more shit after I already posted, edited and made additions afterwards between now and when the show starts)
Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton (Hell in a Cell match)
Ahh... What better way to start a feud than a HELL IN A CELL match!!! Yeah, that's sarcasm. However, the PPV is called "Hell in a Cell" so you have to have Hell in a Cell matches and this is one of them simply because Jeff Hardy has never worked one. Well, I think Jeff will be 0-1 in Cell matches after this. Randy Orton's turn has gone well and there's no reason to kill it so soon with a loss in what is booked as a major match stipulation like Hell in a Cell. The only problem is I don't see where they go from here. These themed PPV's book them in to a corner and now its like the feud is ass backwards. I mean, what's their last match going to be? A singles bout on TV that ends in a DQ in 4 minutes? Come on.
Despite all the chatter about Jeff being banged up, which I believe despite him showing no signs of slowing down his stunts, I can see Jeff going for a big spot but it ends up costing him the match. Jeff is going to want to go all-out for his first Cell match and what could be his only Cell match, so I'm looking forward to this one, but in the end it will be Randy Orton picking up the win.
Ronda Rousey (c) vs. Alexa Bliss (Singles match for the WWE Raw Women's Championship)
I don't see this match being much different from their last. There will be the bells and whistles. You'll have Mickie James out there and Alicia Fox who looked like a bedazzled Nazi on Raw the other day to cause distractions. Ronda will have the ribs to sell. In the end it's all just going to be smoke and mirrors to fill time. Ronda wins here in what is probably the easiest pick of the night.
Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse (Mixed tag team match)
It's Total Bellas vs Miz & Mrs. Boy, isn't this exactly what you wanted the Bryan/Miz feud to be?!
No, it isn't.
I'm not a fan of this match. I don't know how WWE managed to get me disinterested in a Bryan vs Miz feud but by golly they sure found a way! Anyway, WWE is probably going to go on the side of heat here and have Maryse pick up the cheap win on Brie Bella the same way Miz got the cheap win on Bryan. Yawn. Why couldn't be just get the simple, personal Bryan vs Miz feud we all wanted? Instead we get this reality show cross promotion bullshit that no one cares about.
Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose (Tag team match for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship)
This one I'm torn on. I don't want to see the tag titles hot potatoed, but its not beneath WWE to do so. I'm not sure if WWE will here though since I think it's become increasingly obvious to the broader fan base (or at least the perception is...) that the only reason The Shield reunited is to have the popularity of Rollins and Ambrose rub off on Roman to make it seem like he is being cheered. I don't think it has worked too well this time around. Anyone can get a pop doing a big triple power-bomb through a table. However when Dean and Seth run in to save their boy Roman, the fans aren't cheering for it.
In this match though, I'm sure they'll get cheered over Ziggler and McIntyre but WWE is going to cover their asses with a DQ or some weird surprise roll up. Yeah one of those shit finishes on PPV that kills a crowd. I'm sure the other 99% of the match will be very good, though.
Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Becky Lynch (Singles match for the WWE SmackDown Women's Championship)
Charlotte defends her title one-on-one with f***ing hot as hell Becky Lynch who looked like a f***ing babe on Smackdown this past week. Seriously. What a babe. That black hair really works for her and those thick glasses. SHIT! She had a nice little nerdy/goth thing happening. I like that. Total babe.
She makes me want to start a new GLOW -- Gothic Ladies of Wrestling... Yeah. That should be a thing. But damn... f***. What a BABE! Hey, other ladies on the roster, take notes. There's a lot of solid 8's and 9's but you'd all be 10's if you went goth. Just saying.
Oh right the match... I think this match ends in a no contest or double count-out. Things will get aggressive, emotions will take over and the match will end without a real finish. The crowd might boo, but to combat that you just have the post-match brawl be bigger than the match. These two are wrestling again in Melbourne, Australia next month so we shouldn't expect anything definitive.
If Becky wrestles in all black, with black hair and glasses I will give this match seven thousand stars.
What a f***ing babe.
AJ Styles (c) vs. Samoa Joe (Singles match for the WWE Championship)
Yes, this personal rivalry that last month ended without a definitive finish and has only gotten more personal with Joe talking shit about AJ's wife on TV is going to be settled a HELL IN A CELL.... in a normal ass singles match.
What? The cage is there. Just use it. Weird. Even though on paper all these matches should be good I'm thinking we are going to get a few lame finishes. This is another one. That's why it's not in the Cell, I guess. AJ and Joe will wrestle each other again in Australia next month and everyone know it so that will probably kill some of the heat that this match could have had when every fan there knows everything they are watching doesn't matter since a rematch has already been announced. I doubt there will be a clean finish here. Probably another DQ. Maybe a count out. Whatever gets them to the next show. I guess this is the pitfall of promoting 3 different PPV's at one time.
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Braun Strowman (Hell in a Cell match for the WWE Universal Championship with Mick Foley as special guest referee)
This is Braun's cash-in for Money in the Bank. Gee, it's too bad he gave his case to Corbin minutes before turning heel or else he could be champion right now... but nope. The big monster heel is going to fight fair and square like a man!
I'm not sure what, if any role Mick Foley will play. I don't think he will do anything major. Mick, who is once again looking like his old plump, jolly old self seemingly putting all that weight he lost back on or at least most of it. Hey that DDP Yoga is just half the battle, the rest is making personal lifestyle changes. In all seriousness probably isn't interested in traveling weekly with WWE again especially given how clearly difficult it is for him to move around after decades of taking big bumps and really wrestling much longer in life than someone with his injury history had any business doing. I doubt he's going to turn and be a mouthpiece for Braun's stable. I think Foley is just here for cosmetic reasons. They are highlighting the 20 year anniversary of his Hell in a Cell match against The Undertaker from King of the Ring 1998 in Pittsburgh (which I wrote about earlier this summer if you want to go check it out) and because this PPV is called "Hell in a Cell" and this is a Hell in a Cell match they threw Mick in there just for a little boost.
On top of turning their most over babyface in Braun Strowman just to have guys that aren't Roman Reigns get more over as a babyface than him, I think this turn was also a way to have him lose the MITB match without it seriously hurting him. As a babyface, losing the match would leave him with egg on his face. As a heel he can get away with anything. Braun can play a good heel, but the problem is people don't want to boo him and instead of overwhelmingly cheering him like they do with Becky Lynch he's just kinda getting tepid reactions. So, good job killing your most over babyface. Whatever. Profits are projected to rise significantly each of the next three years. They have no reason to listen to those silly consumers. This past week they did another big brawl with The Shield and the fans just kinda sat and watched. They don't like this turn and they don't want to cheer Roman so you don't get much of a reaction. They'll probably have Braun give Mick a big boot for heat and since it is in the Cell it is no disqualifications, so he can do whatever the f*** he wants. In the end it will probably be 10 Superman Punches and 5 Spears to the finish and that will be the excuse for "protecting" Braun even though everyone, even on free TV, kicks out of at least one finisher now. Its nothing special.
Whatever. Roman retains and you get yet another image of another legend holding up Roman's hand in victory and endorsing him because that's what they're paid to do. Blah blah blah... Fans boo. Rinse. Repeat.
Thank you for reading my preview of WWE Hell in a Cell. Any comments or predictions of your own can be left in the comments section below or you can hit me up on Twitter @PlanetKayfabe where I always enjoy interacting with you... and if you're a goth chick I'll probably follow you back.
Other than AJ, there's a lot of new champions defending titles on this show with rematches already set which might have an effect on the heat of the matches and overall fan interest. That's probably another reason people may think the matches, especially with future events already being promoted, are too predictable. On top of that San Antonio usually isn't an excitable crowd that sustains a big event atmosphere all night, so be prepared for a quiet show which may make the PPV seem boring even if the matches are just fine. Yes... That's right. There's a lot to NOT look forward to on this event featuring "the most demonic structure in WWE". Maybe they'll surprise us. ;)
Enjoy your weekend. Enjoy the PPV. I'll be back next time with my review. Until then, take care everybody.