Jobber to the stars Submitted by cams3107 on 03/27/2018 at 11:45 AM
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JOBBER TO THE STARS
As I’m sure many others have done in the past, I used to kill time on YouTube watching old
Titantrons from yesteryear. I always had a fascination for them. From how well they mashed
with the wrestler’s song, to the song itself, and how well the whole package fit the superstar. It
really breaks my heart how WWE doesn’t really do TItantrons anymore. What can I say, those
cool fonts with the name of the lads will never replace those wrestling AMVs.
But I digress, as the topic I want to discuss is not really about the videos, but kinda about the
video’s comments. You could look at almost any Titantron made in history of the Fed, and you
will find at least a comment that says that guy or gal deserved better. It could be a Main
Eventer or a complete jobber, but no matter where you go, you’ll find that someone put
“Orlando Jordan should’ve been WWE Champion” or “I don’t care what anyone says, Repo
Man was good”, or the obligatory “René Duprée cuts a better promo than Cena/Reigns.”
I know that most of those comments are probably tongue and cheek, but it got me into
thinking: “Haven’t we all, at some point in our life, got a wrestler who we adore, even though
he wasn’t really good?” No, I don’t mean a wrestler who never got a belt like Mr. Perfect or
Roddy Piper, you know, those who are widely and unironically respected. I’m talking about
those who never were going to be main eventers, and if we are honest, they never should’ve
being. I’m talking about those men and women who, even if we know they weren’t that good,
we must admit that we marked out at their presence, even if it’s a little embarrassing to admit.
For example, when I was younger, I was completely euphoric every time Funaki appeared.
Sure, it was SmackDown in 2007, and if Funaki was going to appear, it was clear he was getting
the pinfall. But I didn’t care, I loved everything about his character. His look, theme,
mannerisms, the fact that he had “SmackDown!” written in his trunks, everything. To 8-year-
old me, he should’ve been US champ AT LEAST, and I was furious when he became Kung Fu-
Naki a few months later. “They made him a jobber!”, I thought. (When in reality, you can’t
become something that you already are.)
I’m sure you, whoever is reading this, had or have a similar experience about someone from
the squared circle. It could be some mid-carder form the Attitude era or one from the current
product, there’s someone who you feel should deserve greatness. And maybe you say: “Yeah,
I’m a big fan of Bull Buchanan, but only as a joke, not seriously”, but I say that also counts. If
you really like them, even ironically, you still like them. You enjoy talking about them, you
check their matches they had at Heat, you buy that single piece of merchandise they had. (if
they even got merch at one point)
That being said, while there is nothing wrong with liking someone who wasn’t that great, you
need to be aware about their shortcomings. As I said, nothing wrong with being the biggest
Basham Brothers fan, but if you can’t at least see why they are never regarded as of one of the
best, you are just oblivious to reality. You can do that, jokingly, as a bit of gag, but when you
start getting into serious arguments and act like a jackass with those who disagree with you,
then you need to stop. And that’s not just in wrestling, but in every aspect of life.
So this one goes for those wrestlecrap-esque gimmicks, those green performers, and everyone
else who never got over the European championship. You may never be World Champs, but
you’re the champs of our hearts!