NoDQ.com > Columns > J Says: MNR Thoughts 5/15/2017
Posted by J. Elam on 05/16/2017 at 09:40 AM

1. Kurt Angle opens the show. He announces a Fatal 5 way at Extreme Rules to determine the #1 contender for Brock Lesnar's Universal Championship. The 5 competitors are: Seth Rollins, Samoa Joe, Finn Balor, Bray Wyatt, and Roman Reigns. Roman enters and says he's #1 contender. He beat Undertaker at WM and took out Braun Strowman last week. He's the only one that can beat Lesnar. Finn enters and says he was the first Universal champ and never lost the title fairly. He says the line starts behind him. Roman says Finn has heart, but doesn't have the killer instinct to beat Brock. Finn reminds him of when he beat Roman his first night on Raw. Samoa Joe enters and says its about action and results. He vows to win and face Lesnar. Lights go out and Bray Wyatt appears in the ring. He says they all will fall and run. Seth Rollins shows and says he came here to fight Joe. Everyone fights, and Balor stands tall at the end.

Seth, Roman, and Finn arguing backstage. Angle puts them in matches: Seth vs Bray, and Roman vs Finn. Samoa Joe's without a match. Gee, I wonder if he interferes later...

2. Jeff Hardy (with Matt Hardy) vs Sheamus (with Cesaro): Jeff dodges the Brogue Kick early, then dumps Sheamus to the outside. Sheamus catches Jeff on the outside and slams him into the barricade. Jeff gets caught again in the ring this time, and gets a powerslam. Sheamus hits a Bicycle Knee for a nearfall. Sheamus leapt off the top and got caught with some kind of twist of fate. It looked sloppy. Not sure what was supposed to happen there. Cesaro hopped on the apron. Matt knocked him off. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Matt off the apron. Jeff hits the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb for the win.

3. Sasha banks vs Alicia fox (with Noam Dar): Alicia dumped Sasha over the top, and Sasha banged her knee on the apron. Alicia hit her Scissors Kick for the win.

Hate to say it, but that match was boring. Though that's not the fault of either Alicia or Sasha. That'd be on the agents and the powers that be. Alicia only has one good move in her arsenal (Northern Lights Suplex). Also, a clean win by Alicia over Sasha?

4. Intercontinental Championship - Miz (with Maryse) vs Dean Ambrose: Ambrose dodged a clothesline and reversed it into a swinging neckbreaker. Miz with a flying axe handle. Miz dodged a rebound into a neckbreaker. Miz does his Daniel Bryan kick sequence. Ambrose hits a suicide dive. Miz shoves Ambrose off the top, goes for another axe handle, Ambrose dodges and attempts the Dirty Deeds, Miz reverses and goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Dean rolls out of it. Ambrose hits a flying elbow for a nearfall. Miz hits SCF for a nearfall. Ambrose goes to fly off the top to the outside. Miz used Maryse as a shield. Ambrose jumped anyway (Although Maryse did move a bit too early). Maryse distraction, Dean blocked the Miz's attempt at a low blow and gave Miz one in front of the ref for a DQ.

5. Finn backstage interview: His key to beating Roman tonight is heart. Its Roman's yard, but his universe. O... K... That was a terrible line.

6. Raw Women's Champion Alexa Bliss makes her way to the ring. She insults the crowd. She calls them failures and says she'll show them the opposite of a failure. She tries to silence the what chants, but it didn't work. Bayley interrupts. She's invoking her rematch clause at ER. Alexa says no. Bayley attacks and Alexa fights back. She grabs a kendo stick and whacks Bayley.

Nice to see some fight from Bayley, but she still talks like a child sometimes. She needs to work on that. She's too soft spoken. Also, she can't hang with Alexa on the mic. The difference is way too obvious. I'd say it's like this: Alexa Bliss is the girl you want to date, whereas Bayley is the girl your mom wants you to date.

7. Kurt Angle's office. It sounded like he was talking to Sami Zayn or something. Miz is angry. Angle gives him an IC title match at ER. Maryse yells at him in French, so he muttered whatever French he could in response. Hilarious. The drifter shows up for some reason.

Can you really call it an office if there are no doors? People literally walk in left and right. Couldn't they just film the GM office segments in an actual locker room and not a random backstage area?

8. Neville and TJP vs Jack Gallagher and Austin Aries: Gallagher catapults Aries over the top onto Neville and TJP. Nice teamwork. Crowd isn't interested in this match. They're chanting random stuff now. A few minutes later, they're chanting this is boring. TJP attacks Aries bad knee. Gallagher gives him and Neville a dropkick. Neville grabs Gallagher's leg. Aries hits Neville with the Discus on the outside. TJP hits the Detonation Kick on Gallagher for the win.

9. Bayley in the Trainer's Room getting an ice pack. Angle checks on her. He says it'll be a straight up regular match at ER. Bayley wants revenge. She wants to prove Alexa wrong. She wants an Extreme match. So Angle says it'll be a Kendo Stick on a Pole match.

Serisously? Did Vince Russo get ahold of somebody or something? They couldn't just say a regular hardcore match or something? Or if they insisted on the Kendo stick gimmick, just say a Kendo stick match or whatever.

10. Golden Truth backstage. Goldust tries to cheer up Truth with some motivation.

11. Finn Balor vs Roman Reigns: Roman seems to be working heel here. He's manhandling Finn early on. He's selling his left shoulder throughout in between moves. Reigns reverses Finn's Irish Whip and hits a big Samoan Drop. Finn fights back and gets Roman into the corner. He gave him a chop. That pissed Roman off. He charges Balor in the corner, but missed, hitting his injured shoulder on the ringpost. Finn then hit a double stomp to Roman's back.

Back from break, Finn's on the attack. He knocks Roman off the apron. Finn went for an attack near the barricade, but Roman caught him and drives Finn spine first into the post. Roman hits the Drive-by, pinning Finn's back against the post. Roman does his corner clothesline spot, Finn tries to fight back, but Roman counters with a Spinning Powerbomb for a 2 count. Roman went for a Powerbomb, but couldn't due to his injured left shoulder. Roman countered Finn's next attempt with a Superman Punch for a nearfall. Finn dodges a Spear attempt, and hits the Sling Blade. Finn sets up for the Coup de Grāce, but Roman knocks him off the turnbuckle. Once Finn makes it to his feet, Roman hits the Spear for the win.
Great match. Finn showed a lot of heart in his effort to beat Roman, but it wasn't enough this time around.

Bray shows on screen. He says its his world. (I thought it was Finn's universe, though? Make up your minds, WWE).

12. Seth backstage interview. Asked about Bray. Seth says he won't stand in his way of the universal title. If anyone' going to beat lesnar, it's him.

13. Golden Truth entrance. Goldust attacks Truth after the entrance. Crowd's chanting thank you.

That was a thing that happened. Not sure what the point of it is. Neither gets any reaction, and they're both at that age where they should be retired, or not put in meaningful storylines.

14. Big Cass vs Titus O'Neil: Titus mocks Enzo's entrance. Epic. Cass tells him it's not Enzo vs Apollo, it's Cass vs Titus. Cass won with a Big Boot.

That was confusing. Apollo came to the ring in gear and Titus didn't. Only for Titus to find out he had a match, not Apollo (so they both made that mistake?). Enzo tried to take a selfie after the match, so Apollo gave him an enziguiri.

15. TJP and Neville backstage. TJP wants a title shot. Neville says after Aries is out of the picture. He wants TJP to help take him out on 205 Live.

16. Bray vs Seth: Snoozefest. Couldn't be arsed to care about this match at all. And it's a shame, too. The first time these 2 square off one on one. Bray's character is all talk. Seth's matches are GMSI. It's a hassle to sit through them. Put that together, and it's a recipe for a boring match. Samoa Joe interfered and got Bray disqualified, meaning that Seth won. Joe and Bray appeared to team up to beat Rollins, only for Bray to grab him and hit Sister Abigail. He gave Seth one after that for good measure.


3 matches already booked. Miz vs Ambrose for the IC title. Alexa Bliss vs Bayley for the Raw Women's Championship. And the Fatal 5 Way. Maybe a 4th match if you count Goldust and R-Truth's eventual match.
I really like the idea of the Fatal 5 Way. It should be a great match.

J. Elam's Plug
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