Episode 5: Snake Bitten- The Poisonous Venom in the Wrestling Business
First thing is first. What the HELL is wrong with many wrestlers in the business today regarding alcohol, sex, and drugs? I think it is safe to say that Paige is the prime example of a walking disaster right now, especially in the past year. We know that taboo stuff was a huge problem in the 1980s and 1990s with guys like Jake the Snake Roberts, Scott Hall, etc; however, with all the repercussions in place by WWE today, there are simply no excuses for any of this crap to be happening. I do know my fellow columnist, ViRTUE, who allows me to occasionally write my Clueless Wrestling Columnist articles on here, has had his recent “snake bitten” experiences in the wrestling business. I actually know him quite well, and I advise anyone who unnecessarily gets involved in his personal life to be prepared to feel his wrath. The dude is legit and will not take crap from anyone. You have been warned.
To put it all in perspective, ViRTUE’s recent wound from the wrestling business is only at the lowest level of the Independent scene, where many more conmen and carnies exist. It is somewhat understandable if drama and bullshit exist there, but there is absolutely no excuse for it to exist at the highest of professional levels like in the WWE, a publically traded company. I would now like to showcase some of the worst personal happenings in the history of the wrestling business. If you think some of the following should not be discussed, well, too damn bad. But hey, what do I know? I am just the Clueless Wrestling Columnist.
Jake the Snake Roberts had drug and alcohol demons since th 1980s, but his darkest hour in the wrestling business was at a show near Cleveland, Ohio about ten years ago. I actually know the wrestler arguing with him in this video, the Big Daddy of Destruction J-Rocc. What a huge mess this was, but that is what drugs and alcohol will do…
Scott Hall has had a history of alcohol abuse dating back to the 1990s. WCW even scripted his real-life alcohol issues into their television programming. Ouch! Once Hall began to fade away from the main stage spotlight, things became even worse.
Fast forward to present day, and we really have to appreciate what Diamond Dallas Page has accomplished with guys like Scott Hall and Jake Roberts. Let’s just hope there are never any relapses.
Ravishing Rick Rude passed away in 1999 at the age of 40 due to a heart attack. It was no secret that Rude was on “prescription” pain killers at the time of his death. He and DDP will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year and join both Jake Roberts and Scott Hall in the prestigious group of professional wrestlers.
Another now WWE Hall of Fame inductee, Curt Hennig “Mr. Perfect”, passed away in 2003 at the age of 44 due to an overdose of cocaine. Lanny Poffo, brother of Macho Man Randy Savage, said it best. “Cocaine killed Mr. Perfect’s gimmick”. Wow! What a powerful statement from someone in the know.
Who remembers the Edge/Lita/Matt Hardy real-life love triangle? The ironic thing is that Edge ended up marrying Beth Phoenix in 2016 and they have two kids. Matt Hardy is also happily married (to Reby Sky) and they have one kid and another on the way. Meanwhile, Lita is single, at least in terms of not being married and having kids. It’s funny what temptation and sex will sometimes do. Nonetheless, this was bitter and embarrassing for all involved back in 2005, and Vince McMahon and the WWE exploited it by making it a storyline on television.
In recent years, there have been various sex videos and picture texts that have gotten certain wrestlers in unnecessary hot water with the public and the WWE. Seth Rollins, Paige, Xavier Woods, and Brad Maddox all come to mind. Wait, who the hell is Brad Maddox? Oh, he is the former scripted GM of Raw that supposedly got fired from WWE for saying "pricks" in a promo. Now it all makes a sense. What are these people thinking? Remember this folks, recorded video and photos will always come back to bite you in the ass. Always! The Internet is unstoppable.
Going forward, I sure hope public figures like these professional wrestlers can keep their personal life and drama more private. Then again, the wrestling dirt sites thrive during controversial times. Perhaps Paige and Alberto El Patron (Del Rio) will give them even more material soon. If I was a betting man, I'd put my entire life savings on it because Paige is in some serious trouble right now with demons coming out the wazoo. It's almost a given at this point that she is going to F up again, and soon. As you can see, the professional wrestling business is full of poisonous venom, and it’s easy for anybody in it to get snake bitten (at any level). Unfortunately, these bites and poison are both career and life altering. But what do I know? I’m just a Clueless Wrestling Columnist.
I hope you enjoyed Episode 5 of the Clueless Wrestling Columnist. It will return later in the spring with Episode 6. Remember folks, not everything on a wrestling news website needs to be written as if it could make the Wall Street Journal or Forbes magazine. We are all here to express our views and opinions. Most importantly, we should all strive to be creative and simply have FUN. Wait, I sure hope I’m not breaking the fourth wall here! Regardless, I challenge all wrestling columnists and readers to take a breather once in a while and write/read something different. You don’t always have to be so serious and literal. I think many wrestling columns from back in the late 1990s to early 2000s were some of the best reads I ever had. Coincidentally, pro wrestling may have been at its peak then. Many of those columns had their own unique character/gimmick. Just think outside the box every now and then. I love you all…
Be sure to check out the great memes and pictures on ViRTUE’s Twitter page, especially the ones about Paige and Xavier Woods. I know he mentioned his ViRTUE’s RAGE column is returning soon. His next column is supposed to be about how Chris Jericho is the new Mr. WrestleMania. Hmm? This actually sounds very interesting and possibly controversial. He will also showcase his Indy Wrestler of the Month for March, Big League John McChesney! Stay tuned…
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