NoDQ.com > Columns > J Says: MNR Thoughts 3/13/2017
Posted by J. Elam on 03/14/2017 at 12:51 PM
1. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman open the show. Typical Heyman promo. You’ve heard one, you’ve heard ‘em all. Says Brock will beat Goldberg at WrestleMania.
2. Foley’s office. Stephanie walks in. She wants to teach Foley how to be a better GM. Foley likes the idea. His first lesson is finding one person on the roster to fire; as she feels it will send a message of strong leadership. She wants Mick to think like a businessman. Mick says she can count on him.
I’m really hoping it leads to Foley picking himself, as he can’t bring himself to fire anyone else.
3. Dana Brooke (with Charlotte Flair) vs Sasha Banks (with Bayley) – Sasha wins with a rollup after about a minute and a half. Charlotte enters the ring and calls Dana a disgrace. She doesn’t deserve to be by her side. Dana starts assaulting her. And the crowd begins chanting for Dana. Which I just find odd. She’s terrible. I’m not even sure going back down to NXT would fix her in ring issues.
*WWE announces Eric LeGrand will receive the Warrior Award.
4. TJ Perkins and Akira Tozawa vs THE Brian Kendrick and Tony Nese – Tozawa and Kendrick start it off, but Nese hits Tozawa from behind, claiming he’s starting the match. He tags in Kenrick. Tozawa throws him out of the ring, and hits a suicide dive. Perkins follows that up with a suicide dive of his own. Back from break, Kendrick has Tozawa in a Crossface. We see Neville watching the match backstage on a monitor. Tozawa fights out of the submission. He goes to tag in Perkins, but Kendrick knocked him off the apron just before he could reach him. Nese traps Tozawa in a Body Scissors. Perkins comes in with the hot tag. Perkins comes off the top rope and hits a DDT, but Kendrick broke it up. Perkins has Nese on his shoulders, but Kendrick pulls him off. Tozawa knocks Kendrick off the apron, and Nese rolls up Perkins for the win.
That’s 2 matches already with a rollup finish. Are they even trying?
5. Interview with The Club. They’re tired of people asking about other teams, specifically Cesaro and Sheamus, and Enzo and Cass. Gallows says the spotlight should be on them.
6. Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe vs Sami Zayn and Chris Jericho – Owens has a mic. One month ago today, he took out Chris Jericho. He says people are upset with him for pretending to be Jericho’s best friend. Says he was never his friend. Claims Jericho never actually considered him a friend. That he was only using him to get close to the Universal title. Says he stabbed Jericho in the back before Jericho could do it to him. Calls the loss to Goldberg at Fastlane a fluke. Says he’ll take the US title at WM. Then the only thing left with be the tears of Jericho. As far as tonight goes, Jericho and Zayn will get a lesson. “Who needs best friends when you’ve got a destroyer (Joe).
Jericho tags in Sami. Joe gives him a few chops in the ropes. Sami hits a Headscissors. Joe gets him in the corner and hits a Pele kick. Owens tags in. Taunts Jericho and superkicks him off the apron. Sami fights back, throws Owens out of the ring, and flies over the top rope to take out Owens and Joe. He’s selling his knee. Now Joe and Owens are taking advantage of it. They don’t stop, so the ref calls a DQ. Owens and Jericho exchange punches, and Jericho goes for the Walls until Joe breaks it up. Now it’s 2 on 1 against Jericho. Joe holds him while Owens lands a few shots. He throws him to Owens for a Pop Up Powerbomb.
7. Back in Foley’s office. Stephanie says she’ll help him if he needs help firing someone. She suggests Sami Zayn. Nia Jax walk in. She’s mad that Sasha has a match at WM and not her. Stephanie agrees with her. She gives her a match against Bayley.
Foley walking backstage. Jinder Mahal bumps into. Says he’s an asset to Raw. He wants an opportunity to showcase his skills. He puts him in a match with Roman Reigns.
8. New Day backstage skit. They call it their talk show “New Day Talks.” Their guest is Big Show. New Day plugs their ice cream again. They keep asking him questions about his role in the WWE Jetsons film, but keep interrupting every time he tries to answer. Titus O’Neil shows up. He doesn’t care about being on their talk show. He’s jealous because Big Show’s the star in the Jetsons film and not him. He shoves Big Show and New Day end the skit with Big Show looking pissed off.
I love how New Day's complacent with being out of the tag title scene. Not that I want them as champs again right now, but it's like the titles mean nothing to them at the moment.
9. Enzo and Cass vs Cesaro and Sheamus – Enzo and Cass talk about winning the tag titles at WM. They use a March Madness Bracket as comparison. Cass starts with a dropkick on Cass and an uppercut in the corner. Cass gives him a Sidewalk Slam. Sheamus tags in; works Cass in the corner. Cass catches Sheamus on a rebound and body slams him, before tagging in Enzo. Back from break and Cesaro’s working over Enzo. Tags in Sheamus, tags back in, uppercuts Enzo, and tags Sheamus back in. O… K. Cesaro tags in again. Enzo dives in an attempt to tag in Cass, but Cesaro catches his leg. Finally tags him in. Cass hits a Fallaway Slam and a Splash, followed by another Fallaway Slam. Sheamus tags in and hits a flying clothesline. He goes for his chest slaps, but Cass fights out of it. He hits a big boot on Sheamus, and the momentum carries him over the top rope. The Club interfere, attacking both teams, resulting in a DQ.
Club walking backstage. Foley’s mad about the stunt they just pulled. He wants to fire both of them, regardless if they’re champs or not. He puts them in a triple threat match at WM.
10. Jinder Mahal vs Roman Reigns – Crowd’s chanting “Let’s go Jinder!” Taker’s gong sounds, but he doesn’t show. Jinder hits a flying knee, but Roman kicks out. Jinder continues his attack, beating on Roman in the corner. Roman hits a Superman Punch and now he looks pissed off. He hits another Superman Punch for the win.
Roman says he’s not messing around tonight and calls out Undertaker. And then they cut to commercial. Back from break and Roman’s still pacing in the ring. Shawn Michaels shows up?! Roman says it’s nice to see him, but he called out Undertaker. Shawn says Roman got distracted and he’s unfocused. He says Taker’s already in his head and he’ll eat him alive. Roman says it’s not gonna happen. He says Undertaker should be asking what it’s going to be like getting the ring with him. Shawn says he’s on Roman’s side. Roman says that's fine and dandy, Taker retired HBK, and at WM, he’ll (Roman) retire Undertaker. As Roman was halfway up the ramp, Braun Strowman blindsided him on the ramp with a clothesline. Just blasted him. Good sell by Reigns there. Or bump, I should say.
11. Back in Foley’s office yet again. She wants to know who he’s firing. He wants her to call it off. She says he has to do this for the company.
12. Austin Aries vs Ariya Daivari – Neville’s watching backstage on a monitor. Has he been standing there all night? Aries hits a Discus Punch for the win.
13. Big Show vs Titus O’Neil – Big Show chops him in the corner. Titus fight back, but Big Show punches him. He gives Titus 2 Chokeslams. Crowd chants for one more, and Show obliges with one more, before pinning Titus for the win.
14. Bayley and Sasha backstage. Sasha says Nia’s beatable. She tells Bayley not to worry about the haters, despite the controversy surrounding her title reign.
15. Jericho has an ice pack on his neck. Jericho says he’s going to get revenge. He’s going to expose Kevin Owens. He wants to show people the true Kevin Owens. Next week, his guest is the real Kevin Owens. He calls the interviewer Tom Phillips. He corrects him and Jericho puts him on The List.
16. Bayley vs Nia Jax – Nia throws Bayley out of the ring. Back from break and Nia has Bayley in a backbreaker. Bayley fights out of it and ties Nia’s leg in the ropes. She hangs Nia on the second rope. Nia swings her into the corner. Catches Bayley off a crossbody and throws her into the corner. She goes for the guillotine, but Nia tosses her. She hangs Bayley on the top rope, then splashes her in the corner. She stomps her in the corner, and the ref calls for the bell, resulting in a DQ. Nia continues her assault.
So, Nia wanted a match at WM, yet she gets herself DQ'd? That makes no sense at all.
17. Stephanie McMahon in the ring. Mick says he can’t think of anyone to fire. But one name did jump off at him. His choice is Stephanie?! Stephanie says he doesn’t have the power to do that. He calls Stephanie out for berating people. He treasured his friendship with her. He calls Stephanie a liar over the past 6 months. He says she and Triple H have been working together the whole time. She calls him pathetic and weak. Triple H shows up. He tells Mick to say it to his face. He threatens to beat up Foley, but he doesn’t want a lawsuit. Foley asks if he’ll do it, or have Joe do it. Triple H says he never would’ve brought Mick in as he doesn’t want to deal with a has been. Mick says the stars envy him because he doesn’t have to pretend to like Triple H. Triple H threatens to fire Dewey and refuse Noelle’s chances at being in the company. He tells Mick to walk away. Stephanie berates the crowd as Foley stands in the corner. He suckers Triple H in with a Mandible Claw, but Stephanie gives him a low blow. Triple H is ready to beat him up when Seth’s music hits. He’s on a crutch and has a knee brace on. Seth drops the crutch and charges the ring. Seth starts wailing away at Triple H and dropkicks him out of the ring. Triple H hits Seth in his knee with the crutch. He puts Seth in a Figure 4. The refs come and break it up. Triple H hits Seth one more time in the knee with the crutch to end the show.
There was way too much time given to the Authority figures on the show. I still can't fathom why Stephanie won't just fire Mick if she hates him so much.
As for Seth Rollins, it's good to see he can get physical now. The only odd part is, he's not cleared for full time competition yet, which means he's not 100%. Makes no sense to clear him right now if he's not fully good to go.
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