NoDQ.com > Columns > J Says: Live Thoughts on Raw 1/9/2017
Posted by J. Elam on 01/10/2017 at 10:06 AM
Opens with Stephanie and Foley. They’re talking about The Undertaker. She says he knows taker better than anyone. Seth and Braun storm in. Seth announces his intention to enter the RR. Braun wants Roman or Goldberg. Seth and Braun start fighting.
Roman’s here. He’s defending his US title in a 2 on 1 handicap match against Jericho and Owens. After introductions, Braun makes his way to the ring. He and Roman start fighting. Now all 3 guys are beating down Roman. Seth comes down with a chair to save Roman. Now Reigns has a chair and all 3 heels leave the ring. Stephanie says Roman will still defend his title in a handicap match, and makes a match between Seth and Braun.
*I hate how all one has to do is say they want in the RR match rather than earn it.
Seth Rollins vs Braun Strowman: This is a pretty slow match. The announcers spent about half of it talking about Sami Zayn instead of Rollins. Seth jumps off the ringpost, misses Braun, and crash lands into the barricade. Match ends in a double countout. Braun grabs a chair, but Rollins kicks it away from him. Seth holds Braun back with the chair.
Bayley and Sasha talking backstage. Sasha says after Bayley beats Charlotte at RR, she wants a match. Charlotte appears and throws her wins against Sasha in her face and says Bayley’s never beaten her for the title. Nia shows up and the heels beat down the faces. Charlotte mistakenly pats Nia on the back, only to get shoved into a wall as a result.
Jack Gallagher vs Drew Gulak: Gallagher wins after a stiff headbutt and. He’s interviewed about Daivari. He says he’ll give him a thrashing, but he invites Daivari to meet him on 205 Live for a parlay to talk things out. And if Daivari rejects his offer, he’ll engage him in fisticuffs.
*I wish they’d do away with the purple ropes. They add nothing to the matches. It’s too time consuming.
Foley’s backstage looking for Undertaker. Really?
Shawn Michaels is here. Came out to a surprisingly low pop. Weird. He starts talking about the RR. Crowd starts chanting “One more match!” I hate that chant. HBK says he’s here to talk about his new movie. Rusev, Lana, and Jinder Mahal interrupt. Rusev wants Lana digitally inserted into Shawn’s movie. Rusev calls himself the Bulgarian George Clooney. Now here’s Enzo and Cass. They exchange insults. Cass challenges Rusev to a match and Rusev accepts… for Jinder.
Jinder Mahal vs Big Cass: Shawn his Rusev with the Sweet Chin Music and Cass wins with the Empire Elbow.
*Oh man was that segment cringeworthy. Shawn seemed like he had no idea what was going on. And Cass’ jokes all fell flat. Whoever wrote that segment should be fired, but what do I know.
Emmalina vignette. Can’t wait until she finally returns.
Neville vs Lince Dorado: Neville wins with some kind of submission (Rings of Saturn?). He applies it again post-match until Cruiserweight Champion Rich Swann makes the save.
*If WWE’s gonna do this whole Cruiserweight thing, at least let them do what they do; high flying stuff. To me, that’s mostly all they’re good for. Don’t understand why they try to push them towards working like everyone one else on the roster.
Backstage in Stephanie’s office. Sasha and Bayley show up. Stephanie puts them both down and gives them their tag match against Nia Jax and Charlotte tonight.
Sheamus vs Luke Gallows: 2 big guys, but a rather boring match. Anderson throws a bottle at Cesaro. Sheamus gets distracted, and Gallows his finisher. Sheamus kicks out. Cesaro tries to get Anderson into the Sharpshooter, but can’t lock it in, Gallows gets distracted, and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick for the win.
Reigns interview. He’s asked how he feels going into his match after being banged up earlier. He says he has an obligation to defend the title no matter how many people he’s fighting (One versus all). Also says every time he faces Owens and/or Jericho, he spears them in half, and that tonight will be no different.
Mick Foley’s in the ring. He’s calling out the Undertaker. He’s talking about the injuries Taker’s given him in his career. Now he’s begging Undertaker to come out. Says it’s an honor to stand in the ring as Undertaker makes his entrance. The lights go out, but it’s Stephanie. She’s apologizing for Mick Foley failing to produce The Undertaker. Now she’s going to give him his performance review publicly. She’s putting Mick down and blaming him for most of Raw’s failures. The gong goes off, and The Undertaker’s finally here. Arena’s filled with Undertaker chants. He says he will be entering the Royal Rumble. He answers to no one, goes where he wants, when he wants. Nobody controls him (Did he forget about Vince just last year?). He’s returned to the city where he suffered his most devastating loss (The Streak). Says he’s dug 29 holes for 29 souls. Goes on to say he’ll win the RR and once again main event WrestleMania. And if anyone stands I his way, they will Rest… In… Peace.
*This storyline is all about the authority figures. It doesn’t help the actual talent on the roster at all. With all the putdowns they keep doing for Mick, it makes me wonder why they don’t just fire him in kayfabe. Stephanie clearly doesn’t like him, but yet keeps him around for whatever reason. Foley’s not active, so these putdown won’t lead to anything. Mick can’t give Stephanie her comeuppance.
Owens and Jericho interview. Owens cuts Charly Caruso short when she mentions Undertaker’s return being exciting. He sarcastically says it must have been exciting last week when Goldberg showed up. He says it made him angry being interrupted during The Kevin Owens Show. He guarantees Roman will face the consequences when he and Jericho win the US title. Jericho adds that he and Owens are national treasures and deserve to be US champ.
Bayley and Sasha Banks vs Nia Jax and Charlotte: Nia hits Bayley with the Leg Drop for the win.
*Seems odd they had the faces get so little offense only to have them lose.
Noam Dar backstage checking himself out. Alicia Fox shows up. Noam expects another slap in the face, but Alicia kisses him and walks off. O... K...
New Day and Titus O’Neil in the ring. Titus wants another chance at being in New Day. They deny his request. They show clips of his NXT challenge with a keg. They give Titus a chance to redeem himself by doing it again. Inside the keg is Booty Juice. Titus drops the keg before he reaches the finish line (It’s a DeSean Jackson reference for those that don’t know). Titus picks a fight with Kofi, and he accepts. Kofi wins a short match. That was a dud.
*I’m assuming the endgame is that Titus winds up joining New Day. They have grown stale, so maybe it’ll work. If not, then they can always just split them up.
Roman Reigns vs Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho: Match doesn’t start as Roman brings the fight to them on the ramp. He tries to lock Jericho in the cage, until Owens breaks it up. They brawl, and knock the cage off the stage. They throw Roman into the steps at ringside. Ref asks Roman if he’s ok to start the match, he says yes, and now the match begins. Jericho appears to be busted open. Reigns counter the Pop-up PowerBomb into the Codebreaker with a Superman Punch to Jericho and Owens. Owens pulls Reigns out of the ring, Roman fights him off, misses the Drive By. Jericho lands the Codebreaker and Owens hits him with the PowerBomb onto the apron. Jericho hits the Codebreaker again on Reigns for the win.
*I don’t know what the point is of taking the title off Roman. Sure, Jericho finally wins the US title, a title that’s eluded him throughout his career, but he’s going to be leaving soon to tour with Fozzy. Wouldn’t make much sense to give it to him, only for him to drop it right back.
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