Hello everybody, guess who’s back? It’s me, the CWC! I want to make sure that you all know this article means no disrespect to the people mentioned in it, but rather it’s a tribute to them. But hey, what do I know? I’m the Clueless Wrestling Columnist. Over the years, in the World of Professional Wrestling, there have been several participants that have not necessarily been trained as full-time wrestlers. However, this doesn’t mean they weren’t trained to at least be able to work some matches. The bottom line is that these people have found ways to entertain us despite not being the prototypical “trained” professional wrestler. Let’s now take a brief look at some of their finest moments. This will not necessarily be a ranking and will be in no particular order; however, I will give each one of these people a score out of 10 regarding their overall wrestling performance.
Stephen Amell 7/10: The Green Arrow actor briefly dabbled into the World of Unprofessional Wrestling when he got into an altercation with Stardust in 2015. It all culminated at SummerSlam when he teamed up with Neville to take on Stardust and Wade Barrett. A celebrity in a tag team match definitely protects the celebrity a little bit, and Amell is fairly athletic and actually somewhat believable.
Lawrence Taylor 6/10: LT had the difficult task of headlining WrestleMania XI, which some consider to be one of the worst Mania’s of all-time. Bam Bam Bigelow did everything he could to make LT not look horrible. This match should have definitely not gone on last, especially with HBK and Diesel in the WWF Championship Match; however, I will give LT the benefit of the doubt against Bigelow here.
Vince Russo 5/10: I give good ol’ Russo a 5 here because of the way he won the WCW title on Nitro. Also, being all decked out in football gear was funny as heck. It was definitely executed as a fluky win and a very short reign, just as it should have been. I believe Russo even sustained a concussion after Goldberg speared him through the cage into the barrier. This event, as well as many other Russo angles, is still talked about today. That is quite remarkable if you really think about it.
David Arquette 5/10: In the same vein as Russo, I give Arquette a 5 because his WCW title win on Thunder garnered headlines (USA Today) and even had other celebrities in Hollywood talking about it. It was also booked as a fluky win and a short reign, as he pinned Bischoff in a tag team match. Thanks to WWE, there almost seems to be no existing quality footage out there for either Russo’s or Arquette’s WCW title wins. However, I did find this video below…
Jay Leno 1/10: Sorry, but Leno’s performance in the ring was absolutely awful at WCW Road Wild, but that was definitely not his fault. That Sturgis crowd would gobble anything up and like it.
Dennis Rodman 6/10: Believe it or not, Rodman’s in-ring work at WCW Bash at the Beach 1997 and 1998 somehow fit the way he played basketball, and it did not come across as absolutely horrible. Sure, there was an obvious botch or two, but nothing that warranted Leno territory. Just like LT, I think a 6 is an appropriate score for the NBA Rebounding legend.
Karl Malone 5/10: In my opinion, the Mailman was not quite as polished as Rodman in the ring at WCW Bash at the Beach 1998, LOL! Nonetheless, it wasn’t anywhere close to Leno horrible. Poor, poor Jay!
Stephanie McMahon 8/10: Stephanie has competed against both men and women in her glorious in-ring career, LOL! Although the McMahon’s cannot be considered true “workers”, they have all had plenty of opportunities both in and out of the ring. I will admit, Stephanie held her own in the ring and has taken much punishment over the years. Heck, she is even a former WWE Women’s Champion.
Shane McMahon 10/10: Well, there is simply nothing to say about Shane other than he may be the greatest Unprofessional Wrestler of all-time. When it comes to non “workers”, Shane is so damn good, he may as well be considered one of the boys. He has put his body on the line in almost the same fashion as the likes of Jeff Hardy and Mick Foley. It was hard to choose a video, but this is the one I settled with because it inspired me to do this topic.
Vince McMahon 9/10: And finally, we have Vincent Kennedy McMahon. As much as I wanted to give him a 10, I just couldn’t score him the same as Shane. Vince started getting physical in the ring all the way back in the Attitude Era, when he was feuding with Stone Cold Steve Austin. However, perhaps his greatest in ring work was done at WrestleMania 22. I couldn’t think of a better way to end this topic than with this video. Enjoy!
So there you have it. I know there are some Unprofessional Wrestlers I did not include in this list, but if reading through this column and watching these videos has inspired you to think about and research all the celebrities and non “workers" in the history of professional wrestling, then mission accomplished. But hey, what do I know, I’m just a Clueless Wrestling Columnist…
I hope you enjoyed Episode 3 of the Clueless Wrestling Columnist. As always, it will return later next month with Episode 4. Remember folks, not everything on a wrestling news website needs to be written as if it could make the Wall Street Journal or Forbes magazine. We are all here to express our views and opinions. Most importantly, we should all strive to be creative and simply have FUN. Wait, I sure hope I’m not breaking the fourth wall here! Regardless, I challenge all wrestling columnists and readers to take a breather once in a while and write/read something different. You don’t always have to be so serious and literal. I think many wrestling columns from back in the late 1990s to early 2000s were some of the best reads I ever had. Coincidentally, pro wrestling may have been at its peak then. Many of those columns had their own unique character/gimmick. Just think outside the box every now and then. I love you all…
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