NoDQ.com > Columns > The John Report: Talking Smack 02/05/10 Posted by John Canton on 02/08/2010 at 10:11 AM
The first thing I'd like to do here is say it's an honor to be posting my columns at nodq.com because this is a site I've been a fan of for quite a while now. I've been writing about wrestling online on and off for about ten years (mostly at Rajah.com) with this past year being the year where I've written the most. I'm not sure what brought me back to writing so much, but I'm very committed to it and will keep it going as long as I can. I'm 29 years old, I live near Toronto, I work full time at a job that affords me some free time to write (yes I'm lucky, I know) and I've been a wrestling fan my whole life.
What you'll get from me is my own unique recap of Raw & Smackdown every week. I post The Raw Deal on Monday nights a couple of hours after the show airs and I post Talking Smack on Saturday morning usually. (I'm posting Talking Smack here to give you an idea of what's to come on Tuesday.) They will not be in play by play format, but I will give you my thoughts on what went down with star ratings included. Plus, a lot of jokes. That's how I am. If you can't have fun and make jokes while you watch pro wrestling you're watching for the right reasons. It's supposed put a smile on your face. As a writer, I'll do my best. Enough about me, let's get to this week's Smackdown.
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Taped from Memphis, TN let's talk some smack…
We start with a Chris Jericho in ring promo. 10 out of 10 already. "While Edge has been recovering from an injury for 7 months, I have carried this company." True. This promo was great in usual Jericho fashion. He wants repercussions against Edge for sneaking into the Rumble and winning. He said something about how he had meticulous planned to win the Rumble, spending his entire year working to winning that one match and Edge took it away. It's delivered so greatly that you want to believe it to be true. That's what makes a great heel. They have to make the viewer believe that they believe they're speaking the truth. Does that make sense? I hope so. He walked backstage looking for Teddy Long to get him to remove him from the qualifying tourney thing they got going. Hey, the Hart Dynasty! Oh wait, they're just standing backstage. Use them! When he got backstage to where he thought it was Teddy Long, it was actually Edge. They talked some smack (hey!) back and forth, then Edge plugged his Cutting Edge segment for later in the night where he'll call out the Undertaker…his possible WM26 opponent. Jericho was pissed off and walked away. I liked this. I like anything my fellow Canadians do together. They rule.
I like the Elimination Chamber video package. Really puts over the brutality of the match. I still remember RVD crushing HHH's throat in 2002 when he jumped off one of the pod's and nailed HHH by accident. Does this mean we have to forget in October when they told us Hell in a Cell is the most brutal match? I guess so.
John Morrison d. Kane & Drew McIntyre to qualify for the Elimination Chamber match (**1/4) They got about eight minutes and they used it wisely. It was very solid. Can't remember liking too many Kane matches of late, but this was fun. Of course that was mostly in part because the Morrison/McIntyre feud has been so good. They did the typical triple threat spots with high spot, pin, save over and over. It worked well, though. McIntyre attacked Kane with a belt shot to the gut (no DQ in triple threats), then hit the Future Shock DDT only for Morrison to knee him in the head and pin Kane himself after Starship Pain. The question is, if it's no DQ why not just grab a chair and blast the guys with it? That's what bugs me about when they say no DQ. Try to make a story out of it. That's all. Good match, though. It's nice to see Morrison getting the win while moving onto the World Title match that he has no chance of winning. He gets to play the "young, talented guy gets to carry the first half of the match" role.
Main event is Edge talking to Undertaker in the Cutting Edge segment as WWE remembers they do talk shows once in a while.
R-Truth d. Mike Knox to qualify for the Elimination Chamber match (SQUASH) Knox hit his flying crossbody that I love. Then he lost about a minute later to a flying forearm. Good for R-Truth. He's been getting a decent push of late. Will he win the title? Of course not. Nice to see hard work paying off, though.
They showed "exclusive footage" of the post match Raw beatdown where Batista gave Cena the Batista Bomb onto the ring steps in the center of the ring. I'm sure we'll see the video again on Raw if you missed it. If you didn't know, they're going with Cena vs. Batista at Mania although it could be with Hart & McMahon involved as partners, or maybe just standing at ringside.
Backstage, Punk got Serena and Gallows to admit that without him they wouldn't be what they are today. They said they'd do anything to help Punk. I'm finding Serena to be pretty hot. She's got a nice body, but I like the outfits. I might even like the hair. I don't know. I like her.
CM Punk d. Batista via count out to qualify for the Elimination Chamber match (NR) Did you see the looks Batista was giving Serena? And you think what I say about him are jokes? They are truths, people. And good for him! Anyway, Batista walked out and lost the match via countout. I'm assuming the story is that Vince is paying him money to take care of Bret, but with Cena in the way that leads to their match. I don't know, though. Something like that. I'd expect to see Batista on Raw this Monday. This was their way of writing him out of the title picture now. By the way, the over the top celebration by Punk & the Straight Edge Society was pretty great. They rule. Tag champs on Monday.
Backstage, Matt Hardy wished Maria lucked on Celebrity Apprentice and she wished him luck for his match. Hey, at least she got more air time then she wished Mysterio luck a few weeks ago. She "earned" Diva of the Year, remember? Doing what exactly? I still don't know and I like her!
Chris Jericho d. Matt Hardy to qualify for the Elimination Chamber match (***) Cue the cab jokes! I liked how the announcers really tried hard to put Hardy over here even though he's lost way more matches than he's won over the past six months. They mentioned how extreme his offense is, yet in PG WWE he doesn't even go to the top rope. That middle rope legdrop's extreme, I guess. I'm not knocking him. It's the commentary. The guy wrestles way more conservative than ever before yet they're trying to tell us he's extreme? Doesn't really work. As is the case in every Jericho match, Chris does a great job of making the other guy look good. You think that Hardy might win even though you know he won't. They did a great job of counter wrestling as well as garnering nearfalls. I really liked Matt's counter from the Walls to the pin attempt. The finish came when Hardy went for the Twist of Fate, Jericho grabbed the ropes and then won with the Codebreaker in devastating fashion. This was a fast paced, hard working 9 minute TV match that featured one "ASK HIM~!" spot and delivered the goods.
My girl Mickie James-Canton came out in her cowgirl attire that I'm growing very fond of. She cut a promo with the Women's Title saying that being real and true to yourself is what matters most. She was about to issue some kind of open challenge, so out came Beth Phoenix. She said she made history by being in the Rumble match with 29 men and that she could take Mickie's belt anytime she wanted. EXCUSE ME? Out came Vickie Guerrero to say there's no match between them. Instead it's going to be #1 contender Michelle McCool & Layla the jobber against Beth & Mickie right now.
Mickie James & Beth Phoenix d. Michelle McCool & Layla (1/2*) The heels have this jumpsuit outfit that says "Simply Flawless." Layla's flawless except when she wrestles because she loses every match. One of these weeks they're going to give these girls a match longer than five minutes, right? They got maybe 3 minutes here. Beth dominated, then tagged in Mickie and then decked her with a KTFO~! punch. She then KO'd Michelle. She tagged in Layla, who proceeded to lose to Mickie via a cradle. The two segments were fine.
Hey, it's Cryme Tyme. Remember them? They did a Word Up segment with the word being "King" and in comes Jerry Lawler to show them around Memphis. That's nice.
Rey Mysterio d. Dolph Ziggler to qualify for the Elimination Chamber match (**3/4) Where is William Shatner to sing Mysterio's theme song? Maybe for WrestleMania. They had a lot of good matches over the summer. This one was okay, but not as good as some of those ones that I remember. Ziggler's offense needs to be better although I like him. It seems too spotty to me, though. Maybe I'm being picky. The match ended with Mysterio scoring the pin after a countering a backbreaker. Cool finish because it wasn't with the 619. Of course, he did that post match so the crowd could get their fix.
The six men in Smackdown's Elimination Chamber match are The Undertaker defending against Jericho, Morrison, Mysterio, Punk and R-Truth. I think Jericho's going to emerge as champion. It's either him or Undertaker.
To wrap up the show, it was the Cutting Edge segment with Edge in ring. It's such a special segment that he gets his own grey carpeting. Big budget! Edge said it was great to be back on Smackdown and great to be back home…in a WWE ring. He said he could face Undertaker or Sheamus and then they showed a clip of what happened when he speared Sheamus. Cue Jericho. He said Edge didn't deserve the win to which Edge fired back by saying Jericho didn't deserve it because Edge threw him out. Edge said he was tired of Jericho saying he was the best in the world and that he was tired of Jericho's face. That's called Rated R talking PG. CM Punk came out with the SES. (Did You Know? When Jericho and Hurricane were in the drunk tank they were bailed out by Christian and CM Punk? He should have referenced that in the promo.) He mentioned that he was the only one to make Undertaker tap out…even though it was a screwjob on the PPV that nobody watched (one of the lowest buyrates ever). He said he'll win in the Chamber because he's better than them (and us). Out go the lights. When they come back, Undertaker's in the ring. Edge & Taker clean house of the bad guys and when Undertaker turns around Edge smiles because he could have hit the spear on him. Tough night for the Undertaker. One minute of work. And people think this man will retire? Never! I wouldn't.
Solid ending to the show. I can definitely see Undertaker & Edge vs. Jericho & Punk happening next week. Or they could do Punk & Jericho vs. Morrison & Mysterio. Actually, I'd love that. Give it 20 minutes. Either way, I smell a tag next week.
Three Stars of the Show 1. Chris Jericho - Great match, plus awesome promos. He's always the best, but this was one of his better performances.
2. CM Punk - Much like Jericho. Seems "on" all the time.
3. Rey Mysterio - Does he ever have bad matches? No.
8 out of 10
Last week: 8
Yeah, same as last week. It was hard for me to differentiate between the two. I liked last week's a bit more because the main event of Mysterio vs. Michaels was so great, but top to bottom this show was very strong too. No weak segments, plus three really solid TV matches that were given time. The ladies did their usual good job while the Edge/Jericho feud is off on the right foot. I can't wait for that to really pick up over the next two months.
Like I wrote on Tuesday, WWE is on a great roll. Last week's Smackdown was excellent, the Royal Rumble was very good, Raw was the best show they've had since last summer and this week's Smackdown delivered again. The booking is focused going into WrestleMania moreso than at any other time and it showed. They know where they're headed. Let's hope it continues on Monday.
I'm enjoying being a WWE fan right now. Are you?
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