NoDQ.com > Columns > Third Degree Byrnes - Best of a mixed bunch... Posted by David Byrnes on 11/17/2009 at 11:50 AM
So, another week has been and gone and quite frankly nothing has changed. Yes, as I predicted the slippery slope that Smackdown seems to take a shining to is getting ever so close and Raw...well, you could watch any episode of Raw from the past two months and you would struggle to see any difference in quality (or lack of). On a plus note, it also mean's that you lucky reader's get yet another fine edition of 'Third Degree Byrnes', please, no applause. You know, I can see why NoDq.com cried out for writers because by The Hammer of Thor, I'am struggling to pick anything of any quality from Smackdown and Raw. Smackdown, as I've stated before seem's to jump from genius to "duurrrrrrrr" every month or so. Whereas Raw is stuck in a moment (yes, that was a nod at U2). On a side note, it would appear as if some of our Scottish reader's took exception to my branding of Drew McIntyre as not Scottish and that Scot's do indeed have long hair AND (get this, they have tans!). So to you my dear boyo's, an apology;
Drew McIntyre is indeed Scottish, this is obvious at a second glance as the Scottish do indeed go to tanning booths and have long hair like a bunch of big girls blouse's. If you would like a video of how to interpret that apology then, for you my lucky 'Byrnes Victims', I give you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSHaCzb3yYk
Feeling better? All happy now? Excellent, I can almost hear the fury of the internet tough guys already. Anyway, back to the business in hand...done, and back to wrestling (badump,tish). Smackdown arrived to what seemed like little more than a murmor of interest from the live crowd. It really was desperate. Maybe it was the suck ass finishes, maybe it was the fact that Smackdown is creeping on over to the annual slippery slope it throws itself down just as it was getting interesting. Last week's Smackdown was, let's face it, piss poor for it's standards in recent week's. R-Truth rapping that God awful rap, Beth Phoenix squashing yet another nobody, two non finishes, Diva's who couldn't cut up pieces of clothing (I mean come on), CM Punk on autopilot when it comes to his promos (new material when you're ready lad) and Kane is heel/face/heel/face. On the plus side, John Morrison continues to go from strength to strength in the ring, yet he does deserve a better opponant other than Dolph 'Billy Gunn' Ziggler. However, that's about it when it come's to Smackdown. Yes, the Batista/Mysterio feud should be a stormer but it remember, it's two of the most injury prone wrestler's in recent time against each other. I don't mean to write it off as a nothing match, before you all climb aboard the S.S High Horse and whinge at me, it's just that something about it just isn't appealing to me and I can't place what. Mind you, saying that, it will probably end up being a match of the year contender!
Which would lead us on over to Raw. The relative that used to be cool until he gave up the drink and drugs and became, well, 'straight edge'. If I've said it once I have said it a thousand times, Raw is so God awful I can barely sit through the damn thing. Raw has become what DX parodies, it's simply a chance to push merchandise on the viewer. Advertisement's are shoved down your throat like a drunken 19 year old girls tongue (those were the days,eh?) and John Cena is now officially the mascot for John Deere (thank you Powerslam). But, shock horror, Raw wasn't actually all that bad. There was three things that brought a smile to this handsome writer's face and here we go...
D-Generation X and Hornswoggle
I must admit, I was a little unsure of how they would play this angle out but it came off beautifully. The Hornswoggle loves DX bit's over the past few weeks have been somewhat hit and miss but this definately made up for all those misses. Come one, which one of you didn't chuckle at the sight of Hornswoggle getting the Pedigree. Maybe it's just my sense of humour, maybe it's the fact that its a dwarf getting thrown about, all I know is that it was damn funny. Plus, the look on the face's of all those kid's who couldn't believe their beloved DX would do such a thing. No, it was their DX, it was our DX of old.
Roddy Piper
I've been a fan of The Hot Rod since I was a wee,bitter wrestling fan and I was glad the WWE actualy gave the guest host spot over to a Hall of Famer after weeks of "celebrities". I said last week that Piper would need all the help he could get (let's face fact's, his not the most comprehensive of men) and The Hot Rod came out of it relatively good. I did enjoy the fact he still has that fire in his belly with his remarks on Andre the Giant, Capt. Lou, Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan, because he is the only one that could say such things on live television. Plus the fact that man now doesn't have that beer belly that Ricky Hatton has been emulating, although the tan and dye job are a bit too much. All in all though, the boy did good.
Orton/Kingston brawl
It's been a while since the last Raw brawl through the crowd, well a while since the last good one, and this one surprised me. I'm not overly eager on Kofi Kingston, he just comes across as harmless, but he did impress here. This feud is building into something quite interesting and could be a show stealer come the Survivor Series, as long as it's booked right and not the usual 5 on 1 job that has been rearing it's head at the past few Survivor Series'. It's early day's yet so I'm going wait to really delve into this one. I'll have my own on this one though and suggest you, dear reader, do the same.
But, as is the case with Raw, there was the usual pointless cringe worthy pile of arse. The Iron Sheik was dragged out for no apparant reason other than the usual 'I BETHA TEH MISSTUR BAWB BACLUUN' drivel. The Bella Twin's are still proving that a cardboard box could do what they do and be more interesting. Santino is still meant to be funny and curse any of you that find his 'comedy' funny. Luis Guzman is there....just there, no other reason. Some guy from '30 Rock' is on and apparently meant to be funny, totally lost me there....when exactly was he funny!? Sheamus is proving how tough he is by beating up a fat, leering old timer (Lawler) and production guy no.14. To be fair, Raw did improve this week...but only slightly. We were still exposed to a dangerous amount of crap, so I suggest you all take a hot shower.
Getting off the subject of the WWE, my thought;s go out to Brock Lesnar. I'm usually not one to do the 'my thoughts go to _________ in his time of need' but I've always like Brock Lesnar. Apart from his final match against Goldberg at Wrestmania XX, he was always a team player and came on leaps and bounds in his short time with the WWE. The Lesnar/Heyman story was just a masterpiece aswell, probably the last time I really got into a storyline in the WWE. The fact that he has gone onto the UFC and just managed to wind everyone up like a clock whilst becoming the heavyweight champion is just priceless aswell. Anyway, all the best Brock.
So, yet again deary's that does it for this edition of Third Degree Byrnes, for any of you offended by the comment's here,well, good...just mean's I'm doing my job. Be sure to catch me on Twitter 'Barn85', I'm still not really using it as much as I could...that and the fact I'm not going to tell you what I'm up to every hour! Until next week 'Byrnes Victims', good luck.
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