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  NoDQ.com > Columns > RD: Random Thoughts X: Hogan Knows Best!
Posted by Raging Demons on 10/31/2009 at 09:10 PM


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"I Think I Know Why He May Be Mentioning 'Demons' In His Name. I Think He's Tanked."
-- RD Reynolds on yours truly from the 10/2 episode of "Wrestlecrap Radio".

I had planned to do a "Product Review" this week on something really weird, don't worry the "Product Review" will be done next week, but due to recent news I guess I have to do the following.

Guess what time it is? It's "Random Thoughts" time. The column where I take a bunch of wrestling news unable to fill a column, like parts of a Halloween costume, combine them together and you have "Zombie Billy Mays" in the form of this column. Also this is the column where I answer anything that you send me in the form of an e-mail, a MySpace message, and now a Twitter direct message. In exchange I'll answer it for you right here and I will promote or shill for you for anything. Word of Mouth advertising is one of the greatest ways to promote what a person has don't you know?

Let's see what I got in the ole Mailbag this time around.

Mike just sent me something interesting that I personally knew of for awhile now. So I thought I'll let you all know what he told me. There's going to be a huge autograph signing at the Pasadena Convention Center in Pasadena, CA called "Autograph Nationals". There is going to be at LEAST 150 celebrities there to sign autographs. The big ones that are going to be there are: Dirk Benedict (Faceman!), Dave Ellefson (Megadeth!), Jet Li, Ozzy Osbourne, Eric F'ing Roberts (last seen here in a "Product Review" getting killed by Gail Kim), Porn Star Taylor Wayne, and in our case Tito Santana & The Honky Tonk Man!!! If you want to go you can purchase tickets right...HERE!!!

Okay before we get the column started I have some old business that I need to resolve. On a previous "What The Hell?!?" I ranted about the "20 Rules for WWE Diva Afterlife". And after digging around the Internet I found only one name that was connected to it, Missy Hyatt. In essence I said the following when I THOUGHT Hyatt was the writer of that piece of trash:

RD: "I kind of find it really funny & hypocritical that Missy if it is her makes fun of all Ex-WWE Divas like Trish Stratus YET she's been living in the past this entire time selling her books about her autobiography, telling of her sexual exploits and so on. And Missy barely had a cup of coffee (she was there for a short amount of time) in WWE. Technically she isn't even a WWE Diva since the whole "Diva" thing happened after she's gone from WWE. Profile kinda fit too since Missy used her body to get what she wanted. Yet she rants about how ex-WWE Divas are acting."
Missy. Grow Up! Ex-WWE Divas are doing what Ex-WWE/TNA/hell ROH wrestlers are doing today. Selling their past to make some money. Just like what your doing now. Only difference is that they are more successful at it than you. Also let me add by saying that MAYBE you haven't realized that your sex appeal is dead. You had a chance to hit the "Moola approach" like you mentioned but you threw that away by writing the list.

So Missy Hyatt. If you are in fact the person that wrote "20 Official Rules For WWE Diva Afterlife" you need to take a good strong look in the mirror and realize that the whole list revolves around you. If you not the person then let me say that I'm sorry for everything EXCEPT for the "aged stripper look" because quite frankly your slowly turning into one with the recent pictures that I saw of you. YIKES!"
-- From "RD: One Gigantic Group 'What The Hell?!' Again! dated 5/26/09

Well guess who notified me about writing "The 20 Rules for WWE Diva Afterlife" wasn't her? Missy Hyatt! And it was on one of Mick Foley's MySpace blogs nonetheless?

Missy Hyatt: "Never wrote the article. I wrote a blog on my profile about it. The guy who wrote it sent it to me, I told him it sucked so he posted on his news site that I wrote it. He's the same guy who made up the story about Victoria being Benoit's mistress & tons of other BS"
-- Missy Hyatt responding to yours truly on Mick Foley's MySpace Blog "Roasting the Funker and Musing on Missy" originally posted 10/24/09.

Well. Like I have been telling any pro wrestlers when they comment on news sites is that I am a columnist. If I want to write about anything I can, like how we can prove that Foley is indeed God. I can write about that. I don't deal in the news because most of it can be fake or unproven. There aren’t really a lot of legitimate pro wrestling news stories because pro wrestling doesn't like it that much. So we take what we can. I thought I checked the story best I can and I chose the one website I THOUGHT was popular at the time but I wasn't really sure about if it was Missy or not if you read the column and I did say if I was wrong I would apologize. So Missy. I am truly sorry for what I have written at the time and like what I said in my column I would apologize if the story was wrong. I'm sorry for what I had written. Not sorry for the "aged stripper" comments though because there were some pictures you took on your website. They were not that flattering.

Now back to the column. Let's start off with...

1. The news that everybody is talking about. TNA hired Hulk Hogan. This is somewhat of a double-edged sword situation in my opinion. On one hand TNA hiring Hogan gets them noticed by generally everybody. While on the other hand you have the legendary backstage politics of Hogan. Don't believe me? There have been a lot of examples of Hogan being a douche in wrestling history: Like Hogan winning the title after Yokozuna beating Bret Hart at Wrestlemania IX, Hogan squashing Billy Kidman on WCW, and the infamous Russo shoot on Hogan at "Bash At The Beach". Personally speaking I'm worried at what might happen at TNA when Hogan works there and what might happen to the Head of TNA Creative Vince Russo. So far the "rumors" about how Hogan will interact at TNA have been little than mixed results from Hogan being a part of TNA Creative to Hogan wanting Russo gone. I guess we all have to wait what will happen in TNA in the months to gone.

2. More Hulk Hogan news added. Hogan released his autobiography recently called "My Life Outside The Ring". Hogan has been doing a media tour to promote the book. On an episode of NBC's "Today" Hogan admitted that he almost committed suicide. The story goes that Hogan had a gun near him. Hogan was inside a big mansion mixing rum & Xanax (a prescription pill for anxiety users). Hogan was about to kill himself when he received a call from his fellow "American Gladiators" co-star Laila Ali who called to see if Hogan is all right. WOW! Hogan said the main reason he was contemplating suicide was the brutal divorce with ex-wife Linda combined with son Nick's crash that left passenger John Graziano in a coma. WOW yet again! I can feel for Hogan. I mean I didn't go through the crap that he went through the past couple of years but I've gone through something similar in my own experience that without family I don't know what would happen. On the bright side news did come out saying that Hogan wanted to join TNA to help train the new generation. Maybe this experience can be beneficial to Hogan? Maybe Hogan could be useful and bring TNA to become a big threat to WWE?

3. Even more Hulk Hogan news. Well it's connected to Hogan. TNA hired someone else that could be helpful to them as well as Hogan. Or not depending who you are. TNA has hired...Eric BITCH..........Off. Sorry I mean Eric BISCHoff. My "Bisch" & "Bitch" sound alike at times. BITCH...Off is famous for being the equivalent of an used car salesman and one of the few people that made Vince McMahon sweat in the infamous "Monday Night Wars" between WWE & then pro wrestling organization WCW. Since them BITCH...Off has been working on an entertainment company with "Wonder Years" star Jason Hervey. "Rumor" has it that TNA will use BITCH...Off's entertainment company to promote shows to other networks if Spike TV refuses them. This looks like the major benefit of TNA hiring Hogan & BITCH...Off with taking TNA to new media outlets. Unfortunately for TNA I can see Vince Russo now sleeping with a giant jar of Tums on his bed stand right about now.

4. Not Hulk Hogan news but I do have TNA news. Seen "TNA Impact" recently? Well if you missed this week or last week's episode you missed something HYOOGE! Someone that was hired by WWE actually debuted on TNA. I'm talking about Nigel McGuiness. Now why did this happen? Well according to the source himself, Nigel said that WWE took their time when it comes to getting a contract ready for him even though Ring Of Honor said McGuiness was going to WWE. McGuiness debuted on TNA as "Desmond Wolf" and he's already been given a big feud as he will be going against Kurt Angle! I can see the pro wrestling fan geeks having some sort of nerdgasm (nerdgasm: "A sensory overload caused by the introduction of said nerd to the latest technology or fandom.") when they heard about this. This has the potential of having some great matches between the two.

5. It's not easy being WWE Diva Mickie James as of late. Mickie James has been shipped over to Smackdown with "rumors" being the reason that her matches have been crappy & for being...fat! Okay for those that read me you know I HATE it that when you judge someone like a Mickie James and you call her "Fat"! I think that's the biggest pile of crap I ever heard. She looks good and she is not fat. Yeesh! What a bunch of a-holes. But that's not all. Mickie James looks like she will be the latest pro wrestler to enter the music scene by...being a Country Singer. OH JOY! And it looks like its legit thanks to a recent photo of Mickie James hired a PR person to help her do that. This will NOT be good!

6. Bad news folks. GOOD OLE JR, Smackdown Color Commentator Jim Ross for those that do not know, is on the "Disabled List." Reason: JR suffered another "Bell's Palsy" attack. The third one he had total in his lifetime. ON JR's website he's relieved that his tests came back and it's not Multiple Sclerosis. So JR is taking some time off to heal and until then we have the ECW reunion of Todd Grisham & Matt Striker on Smackdown. Get well soon JR.

7. Paul Heyman isn't in a good mood recently. According to Heyman's "Heyman Hustle" website. Paul Heyman comments that Pop Singer/ex-Chris Brown victim Rihanna stole some ideas from him. Let me explain. Rihanna's latest CD "Russian Roulette" was released and according to Heyman it looks a LOT like the cover for ECW's first CD "ECW: Extreme Music". The big thing is Rihanna is wrapped in barbed wire on the cover, much like The Sandman was on the ECW cover. I took a look at both of the CD covers and I can honestly say that it is merely a coincidence. But it you want to see whether Paul Heyman is right or if I am right take a look for yourself. Here's the link to Rihanna's CD Cover. Here's the link to the ECW CD Cover with The Sandman on the cover.

8. So much news as of late that this had to be put all the way down to NUMBER EIGHT!!! WWE lost a very valuable member of their organization when he submitted his resignation recently. Shane McMahon is quitting WWE. I like to tell you why he did it but so far no one knows why he's quitting. I have theories ranging from going to be a part of Linda McMahon U.S. Senatorial run to starting his own MMA organization but so far none of that is true. Wherever he goes I wish Shane-O-Mac good luck. Bright side is that WWE re-hired Lance Cade. WWE brought back LANCE CADE! Come on people!

9. There has been a trend of former pro wrestlers wanting to go back in the ring for whatever reason there is. Now add one more to that list. Bill Goldberg! Goldberg wants to get back in the ring mostly to show his young son what he used to do. Unfortunately it will be overseas. RATS! I guess we'll have to wait on the details as for now there are not any. And speaking of sons Vader's son Jessie White will be making is pro wrestling ring debut next week or so. Break a leg Jesse! And NO NOT THAT WAY! Yeesh!

10. We lost a pro wrestling legend recently. Captain Lou Albano died recently. I may have mentioned on it a little bit here and there in the last column. Most of the pro wrestling fans never had seen the Captain wrestle except being a part of Cyndi Lauper's music videos or playing Mario on TV. I've only seen Capt. Lou Albano twice near a wrestling ring growing up, mostly it was managing a tag team though. Captain Lou left such a legacy that it was felt everywhere but most noticeably Captain Lou Albano left us something that thanks to the Internet he tried to preserve. The Captain tried to preserve the idea that pro wrestling is real. Many of them thought he was insane for doing this but when you think about it. It was kinda cool in an "old school" sort of way. Rest In Peace Capt. Lou.

11. A Rare Eleven! Damien Demento, wrestling's "Bill O' Riley" who recently upgraded to wrestling's "Glen Beck", is back to being an idiot again. After attacking Rob Van Dam & Shelly Martinez over their marijuana use and medical marijuana use, which he must be REALLY pissed off on since President Obama recently told the policing & judicial services not to arrest medical marijuana users, Demento decided to go back to attack...Wrestlecrap.com?!? Here's the story. Demento has been pissed off at Wrestlecrap.com for making fun of his gimmick back in his WWF/WWE days (and something that WWE did in their magazine as well). Demento has been calling the people that run the site his usual name calling: "gay", "ring rats", the usual stuff. The people at Wrestlecrap.com stood up to Demento so he backed off. Earlier in the year Demento attacked Wrestlecrap.com again! This time Blade Braxton, from Wrestlecrap.com, issued Demento a challenge to fight in the ring. Makes sense since Demento is trying to make a wrestling comeback. Now the latest is Demento is refusing Blade Braxton's challenge because "he's not sure if he's a woman or not and he doesn't hit women!" OH PLEASE! And to make things worse Demento has challenged Wrestlecrap.com to a "singing contest" or a "cartoon contest". Uh...what? This is one of the reasons why I stopped writing anything Demento has said. The man is a moron on the highest level. He refused the initial challenge to do something that is completely moronic even to the point that he won't defend his believes, instead he just rambles on and calls people names like a little kid. All he needs is to be a Republican and FOX News can hire Demento. Demento please, just shut up and go away. I don't care about what type of crap you do. Just admit that you sucked in WWE and let's move on.

12. And finally. I did some Internet research ever since I wrote something for USA Today's "Pop Candy Blog" and it was a huge hit when it came to post from the Pop Candy readers but any blog that follows pop culture had what I wrote on their lists. And to add a cherry on this post there are links connected to it on AOL Music when it concerns Jack White and other music artists that I highlighted for them. Rock on! Expect a future Pop Candy article from me which will be seen in "The Vault". I'll give you a hint. It’s about what I mentioned here in this column.


Until next time. (right click it).
"I Can Ride My Bike With No Handlebars, No Handlebars, No Handlebars."

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