NoDQ.com > Columns > RD: Recap of "I'm A Celebrity!..." Lucky 13 Posted by Raging Demons on 06/28/2009 at 10:09 AM
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We see the hosts Damien & Myleene. Myleene is sporting a Lauren Hill/Eryka Badu type of hairstyle. The hosts hype that we are so close to the final episode. The results are in. Two Celebrities will be eliminated tonight where the survivors will go on to the final episode to be crowned "King/Queen Of The Jungle." But first. The Celebrities took time to look at their experiences in the jungle.
Back at camp where its nightfall. The camp raise a toast to themselves for making it this far to the "Final 5". In confession Lou says that even though his time in the jungle was hard he had in fact a good time. In camp Torrie tells the camp that she has such a feeling of accomplishment over making it this far along with the rest of the camp. In confession Sanjaya is somewhat surprised & excited that it is almost over. In camp Mrs. Blago tells everybody that her favorite experience in the jungle was almost being swept up in the river and getting out of it herself & talking to her family. (RD: Rod Blagojevich and all?!?) Torrie's favorite moment was when Daniel Baldwin was at camp and everybody was playing volleyball, it reminded Torrie of her family when she played volleyball with her brothers. Sanjaya's favorite moments was when Holly Montag returned to camp and winning the "Torture Tank" Immunity because it was there when Sanjaya realized that it was mostly mental. Lou's favorite moment was when Salley was panicking and dancing all around the "Rocky Horror" Food Trial because of the tarantula. Salley said he's still afraid of spiders but not so much now, while in confession Salley admits that the jungle changed him. Salley said he never though he would be bathing in the river and his moments sitting in the river meditating and talking to Mrs. Blago would become his favorite moments. Lou says in confession that the whole experience has been complete and emotional while Sanjaya said that being in the jungle was the most fun he has ever had.
It's morning again at camp. The camp is waking up. Salley notices that Lou is walking into camp carrying a covered bowl. Lou has a scroll and reads it. Seems like Colgate, the toothpaste & tooth brush company, have been "watching" the show. So in order to help the camp out with their oral care Colgate has decided to send each member of camp their new product; The "Colgate Wisp" mini-toothbrush. These are waterless travel toothbrushes that don't need water to use or rinse. (RD: And not very environmentally sound too since they are just one use and you throw them away. BAH!) So the camp brush their teeth with their new toothbrushes, completing on their taste and trying to get a great smile.
Commercial Break 1
Back to the hosts where they will be heading into camp for the first Elimination of the night. The host mention on the final episode all the losers will be back and ponder which version of The Pratts will they see? (RD: How about the normal "vain, stupid" versions?) Myleene hypes that they aren't done with the camp yet because "it ain't over till its over."
Back at camp. Salley has a scroll. Its Food Trial time. So the camp is packed up and is heading towards the Food Trial.
The Celebrities arrive at the Food Trial with the hosts. The Food Trial reward this time around is a Gourmet Salad. (RD: They've been through so much and you get them rabbit food?!? Don't get me wrong I love a good salad or two. But this is such a sad Food Trial reward.) Lou is impressed with the salad and Salley is drooling over it because he's a Vegen. Here's how the Food Trial works. Two sets of high wires are set over the ravine, each Celebrity must crawl on the high wires to collect five flags, a dropped flag will earn you a :15 penalty, the two fastest times will win the Food Trial reward.
The Food Trial is about to start but there's a problem. Torrie's panicking. Apparently she's afraid of either the heights or being on the high wire. Torrie is afraid she will fall. (RD: Even though she's securely tethered in really tight.) Salley is talking to Torrie trying to get her into the game and to calm down. Thanks to Salley, Torrie is somewhat calmer now and can perform in the Food Trial. The Food Trial begins. Round 1 is Torrie & Salley. Both of them are crawling along the high wires. Salley has an advantage due to his height & reach so he's way ahead of Torrie. Salley is ahead of Torrie two flags to one so far. Salley has already grabbed the fifth flag but Torrie is slowly crawling along. Salley is encouraging Torrie to finish the Trial. (RD: John Salley. Encouraging?!? In a Trial ?!? WTF?!?) Salley is giving Torrie help by counting down how many times she needs to crawl along the high wire. Salley counts down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Torrie grabbed the fifth flag and Round 1 is over. Round 2 is Lou & Sanjaya. Round 2 begins. Sanjaya crawls along that high wire really fast to grab his first flag in under :10 seconds. Around :15 seconds and Sanjaya already had two flags. Salley is trash talking to Sanjaya hoping he'll drop a flag. (RD: That's the John Salley that I know!) Sanjaya lost some steam due to taking off on that high wire pretty fast as Lou is catching up. Sanjaya is struggling to get to that fifth and final flag as he's crawling like he's been shot in the kneecaps. Sanjaya grabbed the final flag. Lou is slowly crawling on the high wire then he grabs his final flag and ending Round 2. Round 3 is Mrs. Blago alone but she is still racing the clock like the other Celebrities. Round 3 begins and Mrs. Blago takes off and manages to get the first flag in :07 seconds. Mrs. Blago looks like she is getting tired as she grabbed the third flag. As Mrs. Blago crawls and tries to grab the fourth flag she turns over on the high wire. Mrs. Blago is hanging upside down now. Mrs. Blago tries to get herself adjusted but she dropped two flags costing her :30 second penalty. Mrs. Blago is now pulling herself to the fifth and final flag with Myleene & the other Celebrities rooting her on. Mrs. Blago finally grabbed the fifth and final to end Round 3. Results of the Food Trial: Mrs. Blago completed the Trial in 5:14 with penalties added. Torrie completed the Trial in 2:50. Sanjaya completed the Trial in 1:58. Lou completed the Trial in 2:20. Salley completed the trial in 2:10. Sanjaya & Salley won the Food Trial. They both will be eating Salad. The Celebrities leave the Food Trial.
Commercial Break 2
Back to Myleene as she mentions that Damien is heading into camp for the first Elimination. Myleene mentions that voting will begin soon on how "America" will choose the "King/Queen Of The Jungle." Myleene mentions that during all of the trials and tribulations that the camp has gone through, they should be proud of themselves.
Looks like it's nightfall at camp and Lou's reading a scroll. Lou reads that it's time for "The First Annual Jungle Awards". (RD: Like The Slammys but more mocking.) There are 13 rewards for each Celebrity that had spent time in the jungle. The camp gets to decide which award the Celebrity should get rewarded for and one of the camp members get to make a presentation. In confession Torrie had fun doing the award show. The camp first starts for the awards for the ones that are here. Camp awarded Salley as "Best Cook". Camp awarded Mrs. Blago as "I'm A Celebrity Now!", while in confession Mrs. Blago thought she would had gotten "Best Swimmer" or "Quietest Camp Member". Camp awarded Sanjaya for the "Jungle Funk" award. Camp awarded Lou for the "Entertainer" award. Camp awarded Torrie for the "I'm More Than A Pretty Face" award. Now the camp goes for the Celebrities that left the jungle. Camp awarded Janice for the "Do You Know Who I Am?!?" award, with Torrie in confession trying to do her best Janice Dickinson impersonation. (RD: And it is flat out loud funny.) Camp then awards Spencer for the "Best Spence Out" award. Lou does his best Spencer Pratt impersonation that makes the camp (RD: And myself.) laugh. In confession Lou makes fun of the whole "Jungle Award" thing trying to play it serious but in the end he says it's a "really silly idea." (RD: Heh.)
Damien is outside camp now. He's about to enter camp to reveal which of the Celebrities is the first one to be Eliminated. Damien enters camp and has some small talk with the camp. And...
Damien: "Torrie...You...Are Safe. Congratulations Torrie. You are through to tomorrow's Finals."
Damien: "Lou...You...Are also safe and through to the big show. Congratulations Lou."
Damien: "Okay guys. The first person leaving the jungle, tonight, is...Sanjaya!"
(RD: Wow! Didn't see that coming! I thought it would be Torrie, Lou, & Sanjaya in the finals.)
The camp is shocked that Sanjaya has been eliminated. The camp get up, hug Sanjaya, and say their goodbyes while Damien leaves camp to recap that Torrie & Lou made it to the finals, Sanjaya is Eliminated, and either Mrs. Blago or Salley will be going home later tonight. Damien recaps Sanjaya's adventure in the jungle and now it's time to say goodbye to Sanjaya. Over to the bridge as we Sanjaya crossing the bridge with the rest of the camp saying goodbye to him.
Confessional message from Sanjaya about his experiences in the jungle. Salley compliments Sanjaya in the confessional.
Back to Myleene as she will speak to Sanjaya next and we will find out who will be the second Elimination later on in the show.
Commercial Break 3
Back to Myleene as she recaps how Sanjaya was Eliminated as Sanjaya walks in to the studio. Myleene talks to Sanjaya about smelling like camp fire and congratulates him for staying in the jungle for so long. Myleene asks Sanjaya how he feels. Sanjaya say he is good and hopes he can stop itching now. Myleene said Sanjaya looks somewhat disappointed. Sanjaya said he is disappointed but he did survive longer than any of the other Celebrities and he wants to be there at the finals to see who will win. Myleene ask Sanjaya if he thought he grew up in the jungle. Sanjaya said that he did in fact grew up a little and with this experience you have to do a little growing up in order to learn and he is grateful. Myleene asks Sanjaya what was his huge epiphany? Sanjaya said his huge epiphany was that it doesn't matter what age you are, most of it is mental and if you can set your mind to it anything can happen. Myleene talks to Sanjaya on how he was able to win a lot of Trials, out of 12 possible Immunity, Food, & Luxury Trials Sanjaya has won 9 of them. (RD: That's 75% to you and me kids!) Myleene asked how did Sanjaya win all those Trials? Sanjaya was shocked over that stat and he said most of the Trials were all mental and he wanted to win them. Myleene talks to Sanjaya about Holly Montag and if there's a possible romantic relationship between the both of them outside the jungle? Sanjaya says Holly is his "best friend" in camp. Myleene then asks like a gossip whore if there will be a relationship due to all the hugging, kissing, and times spent in the river. Sanjaya turns down Myleene saying there will be no romantic relationship with Holly. Video package shown on the "showmance" between Sanjaya & Holly Montag. Sanjaya is seeing the video and he is smiling. Myleene then basically goes to Sanjaya & says "See What I mean?!?" Sanjaya just nods and smiles. Myleene then shows Sanjaya a video package from camp (RD: Which smells like a "Big Brother" rip off.) via the Confession Room saying their goodbyes to him. Sanjaya is crying after seeing the goodbye messages. Myleene asks Sanjaya who he thinks will win. Sanjaya just says that he wants all of them to win. Myleene mentions that the second Elimination is coming up next.
Commercial Break 4
Damien is back outside camp right now and he's about to enter camp to reveal the second Elimination. Damien enters camp and says Lou & Torrie will go on to the finals. Damien then hypes that either Mrs. Blago & Salley will be Eliminated next. And...
Damien: "The next Celebrity to leave the jungle is...Patti Blagojevich (Mrs. Blago)."
Mrs. Blago is hugging everybody at camp while rooting for Torrie to win the finals while Damien leaves camp. Damien is outside camp to recap that Mrs. Blago is the second Celebrity to be Eliminated tonight. Damien recaps that the finals are now made up of Lou, Torrie, & Salley. Damien recaps Mrs. Blago's adventure in the jungle and it's time to say goodbye to Mrs. Blago. Back to the bridge as we see Mrs. Blago crossing the bridge with the remaining camp mates saying goodbye to her.
Confessional message from Mrs. Blago about her experiences in the jungle. The camp compliments Mrs. Blago in the confessional.
Back to Myleene as she recaps that Sanjaya & Mrs. Blago are Eliminated tonight. And the finalists are Torrie, Lou, & Salley. Myleene will be talking to Mrs. Blago next
Commercial Break 5
Back to the hosts as Damien has reunited with Myleene back at the studio. The hosts recap that the finalists are Torrie, Lou, & Salley and that "America" will decide the winner. Damien wants Mes. Blago to enter the studio and here comes Mrs. Blago. Myleene asks if Mrs. Blago ever thought she would survive this long. Mrs. Blago said at first she thought she would go home early but the more she stayed in the jungle, the more she got stronger emotionally. Damien compliments Mrs. Blago on her emotional strength in the Trials and the jungle itself and asked how did she adapt to the situation where most people (RD: Named Heidi & Spencer Pratt) cracked under pressure. Mrs. Blago says that she loved the experience, it was a once-in-a-lifetime moment and she will always treasure it. Myleene says that how Mrs. Blago wasn't a Celebrity at first and how she was quiet, but that Mrs. Blago quickly opened herself to the Celebrities at camp. Video package of Mrs. Blago opening up to her fellow camp mates. Mrs. Blago is watching the video package and is starting to choke up. Damien asked if she's starting to cry. Mrs. Blago says it looks like according to the video that she got her crying out early so she's okay now. Damien still sees if she is going to cry. Mrs. Blago says that she's fine, she has left three great people at camp, and is proud to loose to either one of them. Myleene talks to Mrs. Blago about her friendship with Salley. Mrs. Blago says that Salley is a smart, insightful, optimistic sort of guy that even though he was worried about missing his family he was there for her trying to cheer her up and offer some sage advice. Damien asks if Mrs. Blago if she will keep in contact with Salley or any of the other Celebrities she has met. Mrs. Blago said not only she will keep in contact with them, they have in fact are planning a reunion somewhere in Colorado or another place to do some actual camping and this time they will bring the stuff they weren't allow to bring. (RD: Uh-huh. Yeah right.) The hosts asks Mrs. Blago if they are all invited, even The Pratts. Mrs. Blago said everybody is invited. Damine brought up that somehow "The Internet" labeled Mrs. Blago as a "MILF" (RD: "Mom I Loved to...well you know.) and how does she feel about it? (RD: Mrs. Blago. A "MILF"?!? Really?!?) Mrs. Blago is flattered by the compliments of being a "MILF". Myleene asks about the troubles back home (RD: That Rod Blagojevich caused.) and how will she adapt to them now. Mrs. Blago says that after surviving in the jungle her troubles are home look pretty easy to handle. Myleene asks Mrs. Blago who will the finals. Mrs. Blago says she will be happy for either of them to win but she REALLY wants Torrie to win because she wants a woman to beat the men. Myleene & Mrs. Blago give each other a "Girl, Hollah! High Five!" (RD: Ooookay?) Damien comments that Mrs. Blago created a fan base while on the show and show her the video package from camp via the Confession Room saying their goodbyes to her, and somehow Sanjaya is a part of it. Myleene said that the Celebrities made a huge impression on her. Mrs. Blago said they made a huge impression on her. The studio give Mrs. Blago a round of applauds. The hosts recap that Torrie, Lou, are in the finals and that "America" needs to vote because the results are so close. The hosts also say that if they have a hard time to decide who will win. The hosts will help you decide who should win.
Confessional Room Video of Lou, Torrie, & Salley proud to make it to the finals. With video of each of their accomplishments. Each of them are saying that they want to win it all and they want all their work to pay off.
Back to the hosts as they recap that Lou, Torrie, & Salley are the finals. And the return of the losers.
Ending credits of your finalists: Torrie, Lou, & Salley
Next Time: And then there were three! Lou Diamond Phillips, John Salley, and our own Torrie Wilson. Who will win "I'm a Celebrity! Get Me Out Here!" ? Also the return of all of the Celebrities that were either eliminated or quit the show. See the fun of Janice Dickinson & Daniel Baldwin try to kill each other. See Stephen Baldwin being a religious wuss. See Sanjaya & Holly Montag make "sweet, sweet love, down by the camp fire." See Heidi & Spencer Pratt STILL act like the media whore douchebags that they are. But more importantly. It will be my LAST ever recap of this really bad, god awful, show that makes recent episodes of "TNA Impact" look like episodes of "Lost"! Boo-yah!
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