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  NoDQ.com > Columns > RD: Recap of "I'm A Celebrity!..." Nine
Posted by Raging Demons on 06/22/2009 at 09:28 AM


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Previously on "I'm A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here!" Well your going to have to read the previous column to find out what happened.

Opening Credits of Doom!

We see our hosts once again Damien & Myleene. The hosts recap that thanks to a freak rain storm they had to move to a different studio, the Celebrities to the Confession Room, and we had no Immunity Trial for the previous show. Damien tries to sell the rain storm as best as he could. (RD: Damien is trying to sell the rain storm like Todd Grisham trying to sell a match.) The hosts mention that this week's elimination will be a DOUBLE elimination meaning that two Celebrities will be going home this week. The hosts hype there is a new day in camp. John Salley is now Leader.

Back at camp where we see it is the start of a new day. Stephen has some comedy with Salley about being the new Leader. Salley gets the scroll where as Leader he must appoint which Celebrity gets to do what chores around camp. Salley assigns Janice & Holly to clean the dishes. (RD: With Holly around the dishes will definitely be spit free.) Salley assigns Lou to clean the "jungle john" with Sanjaya helping Lou out if needed. Salley assigns the rest of the camp, with Sanjaya, pick up firewood. Salley wants everybody at camp to clean up their bunk area. Janice is trying to speak out on it, while Lou in confession wanted to speak but held back. Salley also wants the camp to wash their hands before being served food or eating food at the kitchen. If they don't wash their hands they don't get food. In confession Stephen & Holly think Salley is pushing himself as Leader a little bit too much. Salley caught Torrie trying to eat rice by putting her hands in the rice pot. Since Torrie didn't wash her hands Salley ordered Torrie to go and wash her hands before eating. So Torrie goes and washes her hands. Stephen thinks in confession Salley's role as Leader is going to get interesting.

Commercial Break 1

Back to the hosts. They hype the Celebrities are fighting it out to earn the title of "King/Queen Of The Jungle." The hosts mention that later on in the show Salley has to make a tough decision. But first. Looks like the camp have been given a camcorder. What happens when the Celebrities decide to use the camcorder?

Back at camp. Stephen gets a wacky idea. Let's have the camp make a cheap Slasher movie! With Lou directing the movie. Lou likes the idea while the rest of the camp seems okay with the idea. In confession Stephen profess that they are going to make a movie with Lou as Director & himself as Executive Producer. Sanjaya in confession, along with camp footage, shows the props they will use. They have a scary mask, prop knives, & a bottle of ketchup for "blood". Mrs. Blago said that Lou is really getting involved in his role as Director by thinking out scenes, writing scripts, etc. In camp Lou gets Holly & Sanjaya to do their first scenes. Lou tries to be all professional about it. Lou admits in confession that he's going to borrow every plot that every other famous Slasher movie has ever done and his plans are to "kill off everybody" at camp. So Lou stars filming with Holly. In confession Holly is so flattered that she get's to be in a movie with people this famous. (RD: Holly. Your filming a "movie" that's on a Reality TV Show! It's not that a big of a deal! It's comparing this to a motion picture blockbuster! Yeesh! I'm beginning to think that the Montag family are generally a bunch of idiots!) Lou is near the area where the dishes are done. Lou films Holly walking on the bridge until he falls in the river. Lou is okay and the camera didn't get wet. In confession Holly says her role is the "sweet, innocent girl" (RD: In Slasher movies the "sweet, innocent girl" lives but sees so much crap that happened to her she gets scarred for life. Which in real life that kinda happened when Holly saw Heidi & Spencer get married.) and she gets to have a "love scene" with Sanjaya. So Lou films a scene with Holly & Sanjaya together. Lou is happy in confession that everybody is throwing themselves into the movie. In confession Janice complements Lou for being a director and he should be rewarded. Lou gets too serious with his movie, which Salley didn't like in confession while Stephen is worried that Lou might screw up the shower scene. So Lou films the shower scene with Torrie. (RD: Looking Smokin' Hot in a black bikini.) Salley says in confession that Stephen is Executive Director so he's calling the shots as we see a scene of Salley being "stabbed" in the head. Stephen is calling where the scene should be filmed with Lou in Salley's scene. Salley said that he is proud to be worked in Lou's movie but then again should you even mention that you were in Lou's movie. (RD: LOL)

Back at camp Salley has a scroll. It is time for another Food Trial. The camp is focusing on the phrase "Please select your team members wisely. You will need your strength for later on." The women think Torrie is strong enough while Lou voted himself for the men. (RD: Their epic battle continues!)

Lou & Torrie arrive at the Food Trial. They walk pass a plastic cage filled with snakes. The Food Trial reward this time around will be a pasta meal with veggies and bread for the winners. The Food Trial works like this: There are 5 Stars numbered 1-5 in the team colors in the plastic cage. Blue for men, Pink for women. Inside the plastic cage there are over 35 snakes in there. (RD: If Indiana Jones saw this, he would freak out!) When the Trial starts, Torrie & Lou must grab the Stars in numerical order and pass it around the cage until they hit their specific team slot. Where they must put it on a rack in numeric order. Whomever gets all their Stars out of the cage in numeric order first wins. They can scream "I'm A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here! but they will loose the Food Trial.

Lou & Torrie are in their starting positions. And the Food Trial begins. Lou puts his hand in the cage first and a snake strikes at him.

Commercial Break 2

Back to the hosts as they hype Salley's difficult decision later on in the show as we see a lightning strike behind them. But first. Back to the Food Trial. (RD: "I'm Sick & Tired Of These Mutha F-ing Snakes!" Thank you! Thank you!)

Back to the Food Trial. (RD: Instead of "Snake Strike" which is what this Food Trial is called. It should had been called "Snakes In A Box". Comedy. I tell you. Hrm... I just realized something. "Snakes In A Box" That's what she said!) The Food Trial begins. Torrie opens a log prop where a snake was inside and strikes at Torrie. Lou grabbed his Star and starts to transfer it. Torrie is having trouble trying to transfer her Star while Lou is having trouble pushing his Star in his team slot because Torrie is in the way. Lou finally pushes his Star through the slot making it 1-0 men. Lou is working on getting his 2nd Star free while Torrie finally found a way to transfer her Star. Torrie drops the Star in her team slot making it a 1-1 tie. But not for long as Lou rushes transferring his Star and putting it in his team slot making it 2-1 men. Lou is busy getting that 3rd Star while Torrie is having problems by dropping her 2nd Star and snakes trying to bite her. Torrie puts the Star into her Team slot making it a 2-2 tie while Lou finally gets his 3rd Star free. Torrie is cautiously trying to get her 3rd Star since a snake is on it while Lou rushed his Star over to the team slot making it 3-2 men. Torrie is trying to remove that snake from her 3rd Star while Lou rapidly transfers the 4th Star and passes through the team slot. Lou takes off to get his 5th & final Star but there's a problem. Lou's 4th Star wasn't put in the rack. The hosts are trying to tell him that Lou needs to put that 4th Star in the rack or else he couldn't continue. Torrie transfers her 3rd Star making it a 3-3 tie. Myleene is telling Lou that he needs to get that 4th Star while he's working on that 5th & final Star. So Lou stops working on the 5th Star and goes over to put the 4th Star on the rack now making it 4-3 men. Some snakes are breaking out from their prison so the snake handlers put them back in their cage. Torrie is trying to get her 4th star that's buried under dirt. Torrie has her 4th star and rapidly transferring it while Lou is still working on his 5th Star. Torrie puts her Star in the team slot making it a 4-4 tie. It all comes down to the final Star. Torrie is working on the 5th Star and Lou finally gets the 5th Star. Torrie got her 5th Star. It's a neck-and-neck race as both of them are moving that Star pretty fast. Lou gets the 5th Star out one second faster than Torrie. Lou puts it through the team slot and in the rack meaning the men win 5-4 winning yet another Food Trial. (RD: And this makes it the second Food Trial where Torrie lost by inches! That has got to anger her. I know it would for me!)

Torrie & Lou return to camp to tell them the news. Torrie wants to cry while the men celebrate their victory. The women talk themselves of not wanting pasta to try and make Torrie feel better.

Commercial Break 3

Back to the hosts as they hype the competition again. (RD: Is it a "slobberknocker"?) The hosts also mention Salley's decision later on in the show again. But first. (RD: I'm guessing NBC is reading my recaps.) We get to find out if Sanjaya is really "gay" or not? (RD: Finally!)

Back at camp. Janice tells Sanjaya to put "guy-liner" on. (RD: "guy-liner" is eye liner that men put on. Thanks "AFI" and all the Emo bands for that one!) So Sanjaya is putting eye-liner on while Salley talks to Mrs. Blago that Sanjaya is looking pretty "gay" right now when Janice tells him to do it. (RD: And Janice professes that the "gays" love her!) Sanjaya "poses" for Janice. (RD: And he looks like he's done that WAY too many times.) Janice give Sanjaya some make-up tips and kisses him on the forehead. Salley say to Mrs. Blago that the boy "doesn't look right" when Sanjaya does things Janice tells him to. Sanjaya shows off his "guy-liner" to Holly. Salley thinks in confession that whenever Sanjaya is around Janice his attitude & voice changes to be a lot more feminine...not if there's anything wrong with that! Salley also mentions in confession that when Sanjaya is around Holly he becomes more manly but when he's around Janice, well...not if there's anything wrong with that. Janice & Salley talk about night clubs and just as we are about to hear the reason why Janice went to a lot of Gay night clubs. Sanjaya & Holly are talking. Sanjaya says that he makes a perfect "gay best friend" because even though he acts gay (RD: Not if there's anything wrong with that.) he still likes the ladies. (RD: Huh?!?) In confession Sanjaya admits even though he can do a couple of things like knitting and hairstyling that are more associated with women-only activities, most of his friends call him a "straight gay best friend" because they would do things that a "gay guy" would do. (RD: Well then that would make you GAY now huh Sanjaya? If Clay Aiken & Adam Lambert, "American Idol" losers I must say, admit they are in fact 100% gay. Then admit it Sanjaya. If there were such a thing as "gaydar", it would be broken because you overloaded the damn thing! Yeesh!) Holly is trying to understand the logic of "if your straight then why are you a 'gay best friend'?" (RD: Maybe Holly isn't such a moron after all?) Sanjaya said that's basically the term that came to be. In confession Holly doesn't get it (RD: It's because he's GAY, Allegedly, Holly! Or maybe he's bi?) because if your not gay then stop calling yourself a "gay best friend" because she thinks its insulting to the Gay Community. Sanjaya then says to Holly that he connects to Gay People more than the Straight People. But Sanjaya says it in a "gay" flirty way. (RD: Make up your mind. Your "gay" or your "bi". Sanjaya is like the "It's Pat" character of this show!) In confession Sanjaya said that since he was raised mostly by women he's not your typical "macho man". (RD: I see the problem. Sanjaya needs to get laid! I can fix that for him very easily.) Sanjaya also says in confession that he is in more in touch with his feminine side than any other guy. (RD: I am too for two reasons. Sales. And when I have "sexual relations" with a woman! OH!) Sanjaya starts talking to Torrie & Mrs. Blago about the "gay best friend" line and how it's immature now. (RD: Huh?!?) Sanjaya says that if he's not attracted to a woman that doesn't make him "gay". (RD: Dictionary.com has one of the definitions of gay linked to "homosexual". "Homosexual" is defined in Dictionary.com as "of, pertaining to, or exhibiting homosexuality." So not being attracted to women. Kinda makes you gay.) Sanjaya defends himself saying that he has a friendship with Janice. Janice jokes that her & Mrs. Blago are clear because they are "old ladies." Sanjaya then does a fake "ooh" sound to Torrie. (RD: I guess Sanjaya did it to fake how attractive Torrie is because it kinds sounded a little pressured.) Sanjaya give Torrie a hug and takes off. Janice says "please!" not believing a word Sanjaya has said. (RD: Meaning Janice agrees with me. Sanjaya is Gay! Allegedly! Or possibly Bi? Aw my head hurts!)

Back to the hosts where we got a clue to how Sanjaya "swings". Apparently at Torrie. (RD: IF Sanjaya "swings" that way, there's a big MMA Fighter that happens to be Torrie's boyfriend that wants a word with Sanjaya on that.) Myleene mentions that thanks to the rain storm from the previous episode they weren't able to show the Immunity Trial live. But since the rain cleared. The Immunity Trial was back on.

We are at the Immunity Trial with Damien & the Celebrities. The objective of the Immunity Trial works like this: Each Celebrity is given a pole. Each of them must hold their pole up to a box. If they let go of the pole, a box filled with slime (RD: Another Nickelodeon themed Trial?!? Whomever is thinking of these Trials must stop watching "Spongebob" or "The Fairly OddParents".) will spill over the Celebrity and they are eliminated. Whomever is the survivor of the Immunity Trial wins Immunity. Damien talks to the Celebrities about Immunity. Stephen is not doing the Immunity Trial because he thinks "he's going to win it all so he doesn't need it because America will claim him winner".

The Celebrities get on some narrow planks, put their poles up to the boxes, the staff remove the safety and the Immunity Trial begins. Just as the Immunity Trial begins Janice slips and falls so she is eliminated! Holly's hand is slipping a little bit while Torrie has a bad case of the giggles which is caused by her not holding the box right so slime is slowly dripping on her. Torrie is now laughing so hard that she looses concentration, she falls, she gets slimed, and Torrie is eliminated. Salley is trash talking again! Mrs. Blago moves her arm for a second which loosen the pole from the box thus she is eliminated. Holly is the only one left for the women while all the men are still around. Salley gave up so he is eliminated. That leaves Lou, Sanjaya, & Holly. Holly's arm moved for a bit and there's a bit of slime on her arm. Damien said Holly was eliminated so Holly remove the pole and the box spilled the slime. That leaves Lou & Sanjaya. Sanjaya once again does the J-O-B on Lou. Lou once again wins Immunity thanks to Sanjaya doing his J-O-B!

Commercial Break 4

Back to the hosts as they hype the Double Elimination. But first. The camp gets to see the movie that Lou directed. (RD: Now I'm afraid!)

At camp. Lou is holding a bag. It's a bag filled with popcorn. The camp gets to watch their movie! So the camp is watching their homemade movie. (RD: Do Not expect me to recap this! I'm not touching this! I'm only going to give you the most important part of the movie. Torrie doing a great Scream Queen death wearing a smoking hot black bikini. That's it!) The movie is over and every is hugging one another for creating the movie.

The men receive their Food Trial prize of Italian Food. Sanjaya starts to sing while preparing the food (RD: Dear God in Heaven No! We already had Heidi sing now we need this! Where's Simon F-ing Cowell when you need him?!?) Salley tells Sanjaya to "stop". (RD: Bless you John Salley!) Sanjaya says you can't stop him to sing, he's a "singer". (RD: NnnOOoo. I don't think so. Sanjaya is pretty much a "singer" as Chris Masters is a "wrestler".) Sanjaya is continuing to sing. Holly & Salley in confession want Sanjaya to stop. But Sanjaya thinks he in "Costan Rican Idol" and keeps on singing. Sanjaya says he has a natural talent for harmonizing in confession. (RD: Then why didn't you win "American Idol"?) Sanjaya busts a bad note singing that makes Mrs. Blago cringe. In confession Stephen wishes Salley would kick Sanjaya's ass. Janice said that he didn't win anything on "American Idol" in confession. (RD: Exactly.) Sanjaya continues it to a point where Mrs. Blago is telling him to stop. In confession Stephen is at a point where Sanjaya is a dead man. Sanjaya apologizes for all the extra singing.

Back to the hosts where they are on the bridge when pretty soon they will tell Salley that he has to make a decision.

Commercial Break 5

Back to the hosts where they are outside of camp. They are about to enter camp to tell Salley about his hard decision. The hosts enter camp and Janice starts kissing their asses. The hosts talk to Salley how he's enjoying his role as Leader and Salley likes it a lot. Damien says that Lou won Immunity. Myleene tells Salley that he has to make a difficult decision. Myleene tells Salley that he has 20 seconds to decide who to grant Immunity to anybody in camp or to himself. Damien. Well it went like this...

Damien: "You have 20 seconds to decide, starting...now."
Salley *very quickly*: "Myself."

As soon as Damien started the clock Salley immediately granted Immunity to himself. So Lou & Salley are now Immune from elimination. Damien mentions that there will be a Double elimination coming up.

The hosts leave camp while the camp talks about the upcoming elimination. The hosts hype the elimination.



Next time: Something about stakes are being raised. No idea.



Until next time. (right click it).
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