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  NoDQ.com > Columns > The Shooting Range: Extreme Rules Predictions
Posted by Michael Clancy on 06/07/2009 at 12:08 AM

The Shooting Range
Extreme Rules Predictions

Greetings to you, lovers of the violent soap opera that is World Wrestling Entertainment. To begin with I must offer up an apology for leaving it so long since my last column, life has gotten very busy lately and the problem with writing columns on the frantic, fast-paced world of wrestling is that a good idea for a column can quickly go out of date if you don’t get it written down in time which happened to me on a couple of occasions in the last month or so. I feel I should also apologise for making my return in the form of a predictions column, something I have tried my best to avoid in the past as to me it represents a rather lazy form of column writing; but this is all I have to offer for the time being and all I can do is apologise and pledge to having a column of far more substantial worth in the very near future. In the mean time sit back and enjoy the light hearted scribblings of who I think will be the big winners at WWE’s Extreme Rules PPV.

Vickie Guerrero vs. Santina Marella- Hog Pen Match
I think the world can agree that this is a match we could do without on a pay-per-view. Vickie Guerrero has been a car wreck of a GM on Raw, recapturing none of the intense spark that made her the top heel on Smackdown. The fact that she has gone from playing a major role in top feuds on Smackdown to being involved in a comedy storyline with Santino Marella’s alter ego clearly shows how much she has fallen from grace. Now I haven’t been keeping a close eye on Raw recently so I don’t know if they have explained what a Hog Pen Match actually is but I assume it will involve Vickie getting covered in pig shit by the end of the match. One to avoid like the plague.
Who Will Win: Certainly not any of the fans who paid to watch.

CM Punk vs. Umaga- Samoan Strap Match
For me this rivalry represents a lot of what is right with Smackdown at the moment. It is a fresh feud between two superstars with conflicting styles who are both very watchable. CM Punk is the type of opponent that brings out the best in Umaga; smaller than your average main-eventer, with enough fight in him to make the match interesting. This is a tough one to call with Umaga drawing first blood at the PPV last month and Punk winning on Friday night so this one could go either way.
Who Will Win: Too close to call but at a push I’d say CM Punk

US Title Match: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy- Fatal Four Way
As a big fan of the mid-card titles I could not be happier to see this match on the card. With the talent on display this should really be an excellent, well competed match up, with lots of back and forth action and near falls. Kudos to WWE for following through with this match when it was hinted at on the VIP Lounge on Raw a few weeks back. After picking up the big win on Raw I can’t see anyone other than Kingston walking away with the gold but if given enough time every man in this match will come out looking like a winner. Kingston is such an innovative, explosive superstar I only hope his US Title reign is handled better than his IC or Tag Title run was.
Who Will Win: Kofi Kingston

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho- No Holds Barred
Here’s a trivia question for you, when was the last time the Intercontinental Title and United States Title were defended on the same PPV? (apart from Night of Champions where it is required). Anyone who read my article on midcard titles will know that this match is like Christmas come early for me and seeing to top stars like Jericho and Mysterio compete for the title is just fantastic. The only minor criticisms I can put forward is that the IC Title has been pushed to the background in favour of the personal rivalry between the two men. Also, with 8 previous IC title runs to his name it is slightly unoriginal to put Jericho back in the hunt for it again, particularly when he really should be competing for the major title on Smackdown. But this is just anal knit-picking, overall I am looking forward to this match immensely.
Who Will Win: Mysterio, purely because Jericho has held the IC Title so many times before.

ECW Title Match: Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer- Hardcore Match
I’ve got mixed feelings going into this match. On one hand I think if Christian was to drop the title after only a 2 month reign would be a massive step back for the guy and he really deserves a good run, on the other hand Tommy Dreamer is an ECW legend who has truly earned one last title run before he bids a final farewell to the brand/company he has bled for for the last decade or so. I’m also a big Swagger fan so I’d be happy to see any of these guys walk away with the gold.
Who Will Win: Win or lose I would imagine Dreamer will retire after the match so it would be nice to see him hold the gold one last time. But considering WWE’s treatment of other ECW Originals I don’t think he can be guaranteed a Cinderella ending. I’m going for Christian to retain.

John Cena vs. Big Show- Submission Match
Blah blah blah Cena injured, blah blah blah can’t lock in the STF, blah blah blah Big Show dominating for long, slow portions of the match, blah blah Cena hits 4 moves, realises he can lock in the STF with the help of his loyal 9 year old fans, Big Show taps, we all live happily ever after, next!
Who Will Win: who do you think?

WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista- Steel Cage Match
Considering how good a heal Randy Orton can be, it is amazing that he has managed to suck the life out of Raw over the last few months with the exact same promos and 3 on 1 attacks week after week. To be fair Batista, who has become a charisma vacuum since his return, hasn’t helped matters. I’m not expecting big things from this match and there is no chance in hell that the Age of Orton is coming to an end at Extreme Rules.
Who Will Win: Randy (yawn) Orton

World Heavyweight Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy- Ladder Match
I’m looking forward to this match so much that I’m willing to overlook the lazy booking on WWE’s behalf in having a Ladder Match main event Extreme Rules two years in a row. This match really should be a candidate for match of the year. These men are no strangers to ladder matches or each other, they have great chemistry and they can both take risks when they need to. I sincerely hope this match closes the show and is given far more time than the cage match. With Hardy supposedly taking time off soon I can’t see anyone but Edge picking up the win but it should be a hell of a slobber-knocker.
Who Will Win: Edge needs a extended title run more than Hardy needs the gold, its got to be the Rated-R Superstar.

So there you have it. I don’t expect to get a 100% success rate, which is probably a good thing, WWE have been quite good recently at throwing in the odd PPV curve ball so hopefully there will be the odd surprise or two during Extreme Rules. I shall return with another column very soon but in the mean time if you agree/disagree with my predictions or just want to put forward some opinions of your own, your thoughts will be welcomed at shootingrange69@aol.com

Until the next time, take ‘er easy Dude.


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