I mean to tell you the truth. With the way my life has been going through this week. Quite honestly I forgot about this pay-per-view until I read my daily news sources. I've been missing some WWE programming, but thanks to iTunes I'm able to keep up to TNA (and I'll bet Vinnie Mac will go "What The Hell is iTunes?!?") And I bet you I'll STILL get at LEAST HALF of it right.
The WWE Pay-Per-View "Unforgiven" is around the corner. It is looking like a gimmick pay-per-view with half the card dedicated to the EVER SO complicated "Championship Scramble" match which is designed to get new viewers but to me...TNA makes things look easier with their gimmick matches, and they make things complicated as stereo instructions!
These are the matches right now as of WWE.com.
WWE Chmpionship Title Match
Championship Scramble Match
Triple H defends the title versus "U.S. Champion" Shelton Benjamin, MVP, Jeff Hardy, & THE Brian Kendrick
Winner: Triple H Reason: Okay I'm going to explain the WHOLE concept of the "Championship Scramble" match once. The "Championship Scramble" match is a 5-way match that lasts for 20 minutes, whomever gets the pins becomes the "temporary" champion. After the 20 minutes is up whomever is the "champion" at the time is the PERMANENT champion. In this case. Triple H is going to win because A: MyNetworkTV debut is around the corner. B: Insert your own "Triple H is the son-in-law" joke.
*"Bleh! How in the hell am I going to write this? I might as well enjoy watching this episode of "The Venture Brothers" right now. I mean God almighty! Let's see what I can watch on TV now while I TRY to write this!"*
*(using the remote)*
*"The Original 'Die Hard!' is on! Boo-Yah! Looks like I'm right in the middle. Where Bruce Willis' "John McClaine" capped a couple of them and the terrorists blew up the battering ram tank. This will keep me interested!"*
World Heavyweight Title Match
Championship Scramble Match
CM Punk defends the title versus Rey Mysterio, JBL, Kane, & Batista
Winner: Batista Reason: Kane & Mysterio take each other out due to storylines, JBL is filler, Punk is NOT walking away with the title. Guess who's left?
*"I can't believe that the dad from 'Family Matters' in this movie as the cop that is McClaine's connection to all this. He is like 10 steps ahead of the LAPD while they all stumble about. Funny."*
ECW World Title Match
Championship Scramble Match
Mark Henry (w/Tony Atlas) defends the title versus Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Finlay, & The Miz
Winner: Mark Henry Reason: I want Matt Hardy to win this. But the rest of them are not World Champion material, ESPECIALLY THE MIZ! But they are going to let Henry be with that title for a long time. Why? Something to do with a racial expletive I believe.
*"I can type pretty fast. Around 50WPM. So explain this one to me? How can you drop a computer monitor down an elevator shaft, into tons of explosives, and YET it blows up the ground floor of the building?*"
Divas Championship Match
*"Oh Hell! I'm not writing this up. I'm on break!"*
*"Damn It! Why did 'Die Hard' have to be on TNT now? OOh! Ben Stein shilling Visine! Where was I?"*
Divas Championship Match
*"Oh...THAT! D'Oh!!!"*
Divas Championship Match
Michelle McCool defends the title versus Maryse
Winner: Michelle McCool Reason: Before I give you my reason. Take a look at wwe.com wrote about Michelle McCool and that GOD AWFUL looking title of hers. "Michelle has done everything in her power to bring integrity and class to her reign, while setting the bar high for her challengers. Her considerable ability is only surpassed by the belief she has in herself and what she is capable of inside the squared circle. " Okay I got a question. HOW can you bring respect & integrity to a title that was designed for the "Un-Divas" A.K.A. The Divas that can't wrestle and are only there because they look good in a thong?!? I mean come on! That's like telling...well me...that I'm a respected writer. FEH! Anyways back to this trainwreck. Both of them have water-filled fake boobs, but one of them is playing "Hide The Salami" with The Undertaker. And I'll give you a hint. IT'S NOT MARYSE!!!
*"Alan Rickman is such a great villain in this movie. Here he uses some selfish a-hole to try and save his own life in order to rat out McClaine. So what does Rickman do? HE shoots the a-hole to prove a point. Movie is like 20 years old and it's STILL awesome. I got to take a break. What's next?"*
World Tag Team Title Match
*"Oh that CAN WAIT!!!!"*
*(10 minutes have passed)*
*"Commercials. Might as well go back and do this. Now where were we...?"
World Tag Team Title Match
Ted DiBiase Jr. & Cody Rhodes defend their titles versus Cryme Tyme
Winner: Cryme Tyme Reason:I just want them to win! I like Cryme Tyme! It would be worth it for them to get the straps back after what WWE put them through. Oh and WWE needs to update their website since Rhodes & DiBiase now have the titles again. Reminds me of a storyline from "WWE Raw vs Smackdown 08"
*"TNT is airing a new commercial now for a new show called 'Raising The Bar' starring Rick Schroder & the mom from 'Malcolm In The Middle'. What first the dad goes all drama-e now she is? Hrm... One match left.*"
"The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho
*"Break Time! Rickman is about to screw over McClaine! Gotta watch!"*
*(25 minutes later)*
*"Okay, where were we? The final match on this card! Yippie Skippie!"*
"The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho
Winner: Shawn Michaels Reason: The feud is building up to this. But expect HBK to get "taken out" by Jericho because of the injury.
And that is your WWE Pay-Per-View Card for "Unforgiven"
Dawn Marie and myself I would like to say thanks to those that donated to The Carrie Deusing RSD Foundation. But that's not stopping Dawn Marie from helping. Dawn Marie is helping to promote another charity. It's called "Wrestler's Rescue". A charity that helps ex-wrestlers whose bodies are so damaged that they need surgery but they cannot afford the surgery. Not only is Dawn Marie attending. But take a look at who else will be there: Tammy "Sunny" Sytch, "Superstar" Billy Graham, Terri Runnels, Missy Hyatt, The Sandman, Nikolai Volkoff, The Iron Sheik, Captain Lou Albano, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka, Danny Doring, Greg Valentine, Johnny Rodz, Balls Mahoney, "The Genius" Lanny Poffo, The ECW Zombie, and Mick Foley. Just added are: J.J. Dillon, Brimstone, Nicky of "The Spirit Squad", Hillbilly Cousin Luke, Manny Fernandez, referee Al Vass, "Irish" Terry Gunn, Torrie Wilson (HOT DAMN!) & Ashley Massaro (Oh great! That means everybody attending needs to be vaccinated now!) There are also other celebrities and people will be there. So if you want to help ex-wrestlers that are so beat up they can't even afford the surgeries that can make then normal, go check out the website. I sure wish I can go for one reason. LARRY STORCH!
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