NoDQ.com > Columns > RD: "Phoning It In" for The GAB. AND....! Posted by Raging Demons on 07/19/2008 at 11:29 AM
Now before we get into me barely doing anything with this column. I have to admit something here.
Behind the scenes here I was working on a column to post here. Now this column was going to become in the vein of what I did with Jeff Hardy and to an extent LAX. I was going to call someone out for being the idiot that she was. Yes I was going to write a column about one Ashley Massaro. Specifically why she left WWE and why she's full of it! Let me explain.
A few months ago or so. Rolling Stone (a legit magazine mind you, even though they had a cover of those posers from "The Hills" on it) posted a story about a L.A. Madam being busted for a high-end prostitution ring. Now "the girls" that were working for her were from various parts of the Adult Film/Magazine media. But the surprise is that in that story they said that Ashley Massaro worked for them, charging $25,000 per hour for some "bedroom gymnastics" per say. Ashley IMMEDIATELY said on her blog that it was a lie and that she was getting her lawyers on this. But during this time WWE decided to yank her off TV, some of it because of injury since she is the most fragile female wrestling personality ever, while mostly is to keep her off TV because of the story. But thanks to JBL, he got to insult her in a way and indirectly on a RAW episode.
Then all of a sudden. Ashley says that she's going to leave WWE (she's still off TV) to "take care of her 7 year old daughter". Huh? Wha?!? Of course days later WWE posted on their website that they let Ashley go. Now this is ole Raging_Demons your talking to. I've been around enough women to know that which ones had a child just by looking at them. I can say, based on my personal opinion, that Ashley has NOT ever had any kid of any kind. Also adding that the business that is WWE and pro wrestling it is literally impossible for a woman to raise a baby and to work at the same time unless she has a lot of help which Ashley has none. So I was doing a little research on the column.
Why would I be doing research? Well so if Ashley uses the worst weapon possible, a lawyer (which she can't do since I'm broke as hell thus I'm immune!) on me. I can cite all the information possible to say "look she's ultra shady". So using the theory that she is actually in fact claiming she had an actual "7 year old daughter" I did a little Googling and looked for any information back in 2001. Boy did I find some interesting things for you. Seems like back in January of 2001 there was this cheerleader doing some work for a New York Lacrosse Team according to the New York Times. That person's name? Ashley Massaro! The age matches what she states on her MySpace page. Things get better. According to a Website dedicated to Pageant news Ashley was chosen as "Miss Hawaiian Tropic International" in Sept. of 2001, and adding that according to some of the people at that pageant website that I talked to they were running "Hawaiian Tropic Pageants" around the Spring to Summer of 2001. So unless Ashley knows one HELL of an ab workout for loosing the baby pounds. To quote The White Stripes "I Think I Smell A Rat!" So I was trying to arrange some time with some women that I know that had kids but lost the weight off in such a way it was incredible, then Ashley changed her blog (about a couple of weeks later) to say that it was a "family member" she has to take care of. Thus I had to scrap the column because this time the excuse is more general and something I can't prove.
In a way. Ashley's actions prove that she is in fact. A Lying Liar from Liarsburg! You don't say one thing then IMMEDIATELY say another thing two weeks later. Here's what I think what happened and this is based on my opinion not actual fact: Ashley was in fact doing the paid escort deal ($25,000 an hour for some sex? COME ON! I wouldn't touch that with a 12 foot pole. Besides. I know porn stars that are MUCH cheaper and much BETTER LOOKING than her.). Got caught. WWE didn't like it that she was doing it, but didn't want to fire her because of the story & maybe Ashley convinced them that Rolling Stone LIED. Fortunately Ashley, fragile as she is, got hurt so WWE places her on the DL while hoping the story goes away. WWE couldn't out right fire her because of the story and they still had an edict of "less slutty Divas" they had in place. Thanks to this year's NBA Finals (idea from Ashley's Wikipedia page) Ashley PROBABLY watched the finals and heard about how Derek Fisher (nice guy in person, too bad he's a Laker) took some time off to take care of his daughter. Ashley thought "There's something I can use". So she went on her Myspace saying she's quitting WWE to take care of her "fictional daughter". Probably found out that I was sniffing around (I did leak out some of the details of the column on my Yahoo! Group "The Original WWF Fan Club" for my members). Then Ashley decided to change the lie.
Ashley. Either way it was going to look bad how you left WWE so sudden because YOU WERE IMPLICATED IN A PROSTITUTION RING! Saying you had a kid was plausible, but not bloody likely. Changing THAT excuse just makes it official that your SO full of it and your probably one of those type of women that used her looks to get everything you want that I'm guessing your not SO nice in person. I hope kharma in the end bites you in the ass.
P.S. I'm glad Christy Hemme kicked your ass in that Playboy poll!
*cough* whoresaidwhat *cough* Exactly!
Now let's get back to what we're all here for. Hardcore Nudity! No, wait.
WWE's latest Pay-Per-View "The Great American Bash" is coming up this weekend. The Bash is about as old as Wrestlemania since it started at NWA Crockett (NWA televised in the 80s owned by Jim Crockett and his family), then it was moved over to WCW, and most recently WWE. Ever since WWE decided to bring back The Bash MY GAWD it has been a horrible Pay-Per-View.
This year's Bash has something personal for me. The theme song "Move To The Music" is done by the band "American Bang". I saw them perform personally when I was at Coachella this year. And when The Bash is done and over with. I want to say that it's HIGHLY recommended that you see them in person. Go on! Take a Look! They aren't going to bite...MUCH!
But the Pay-Per-View ON THE OTHER HAND! Well it looks like that tradition of WWE making The Bash a horrible Pay-Per-View continues. Only thing special is first ever Diva Champion. Other than that...
The current line-up is from wwe.com as of this column.
WWE Title Match
Triple H defends the title versus Edge
Winner: Triple H Reason: Storyline wise. Now that Edge is FREE AGAIN (don't tease me again WWE). Edge is seriously hoarked.
World Heavyweight Title Match.
"The Cookie Master" CM Punk defends the title versus Batista
Winner: CM Punk Reason: True story. CM Punk said in an interview that the "CM" meant Cookie Master. So every time I see him wrestle, no matter how good he can perform there's this guy calling himself "The Cookie Master". Hilarious! Back on topic here. Punk barely has the title. Even though rumors have it that this is a temporary title run, it all depends on how Punk handles the situation. SO let's see how the Punker can do getting a duke off Batista.
ECW World Title Match
Mark Henry defends the title versus Tommy Dreamer
Winner: Mark Henry Reason: Henry's getting fed a jobber. And his name is Tommy Dreamer.
WWE Tag Team Title Match
Fatal Four Way Match
John Morrison & The Miz defend their titles versus Jesse & Festus, Hornswoggle & Finlay, & The Edgeheads.
Winner: John Morrison & The Miz Reason: Honestly I think this would be a perfect opportunity to change the titles. But Hornswoggle & Finlay are filler. Hawkins & Ryder will probably get screwed over story line wise thanks to what happened on this week's Smackdown. And I don't see Jesse & Festus ready for the straps. Of course I could be wrong.
Divas Title
Winner will become champion
Michelle McCool vs Natalya
Winner: Michelle McCool Reason: I saw it since McCool getting her push. WWE will give her the title. I mean it's great and all when McCool is riding "The Dead Man" now huh?
New York Parking Lot Brawl Match
"Kal-El" John Cena versus "The American Cod" JBL
Winner: John Cena Reason: Well given that "The Last Son of Krypton" has not lost versus JBL on Pay-Per-Views so far. And adding that Cena NO SOLD DEATH (well it's kinda hard to sell death when bullets and cars can bounce off your body). No brainer.
"The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho
Winner: Shawn Michaels Reason: Hard one to predict here. Both of these men when combined together can create magic. But I'm guessing how, story line wise, how this feud is going. HBK will pull the win.
Well. There you go. There's your line-up for The Great American Bash.
Dawn Marie & Myself are still asking for people to help out The Carrie Deussing RSD Foundation for any possible charitable contributions. Most recently The Foundation has ALMOST reached their goal and most of you didn't go and SEE Dawn Marie about it. Go and see her! So if you can please donate, it would be mostly appreciated. Unless your heartless bastards! Also Dawn Marie has accepted some booking appointments so check out here and here and ask her in person if you can help her out to "Tame The Flame."
Also a special note. I would like to thank the Pageant website, which is located right...HERE!!! That tried and help me out with my possible Ashley column. I promised them for their help I would plug their website. So if you know someone that's in beauty pageants or if any of you reading are into beauty pageants. Well then there you go!
Until next time. I can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handlebars.
