NoDQ.com > Columns > RD: A Very Special Edition of "Phoning It In" Posted by Raging Demons on 05/17/2008 at 10:27 AM
The process in which the columnists here type out our columns didn't leave me enough room for the title for this week's column. It's supposed to say...
"RD: A Very Special Edition of 'Phoning It In' for Judgment Day"
Yes. Like 80s Television where Nancy Regan came and said "Just Say No", we learned Tom Hanks is an alcoholic, and to never go into a bike shop where the Maytag Repair Guy (or Joann's dad, or Mr. Carlson, whatever) is running it because he's afraid he might touch your "no-no parts". Before we start off our usual version of "Phoning It In". I have to do this first.
Dawn Marie personally notified me about this. I thought the best thing that I can do right now is to tell you all about it. Her sister-in-law Carrie suffers from a rare disease called Reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome A.K.A. "RSDS". The disease is very lethal physically. Constant pain, hypersensitive to temperatures, major swelling. I have a relative that has fibromyalgia and that relative has somewhat of a painful time with it. This disease must be like fibromyalgia on steroids! I can only imagine what this poor woman is going through. Unfortunately there is barely any treatment for her in the United States so she has to get treatment out of the country. Please check out the following website to see how you can help.
Now that I have gotten that out of the way...
WWE's PPV "Judgment Day" is right around the corner. Not a lot of matches this time around but let's see what might happen while I barely think about this while watching re-runs of "The Match Game" on GSN.
The matches that I have listed are current as of this column per WWE.com
WWE World Title Match
Steel Cage Match
Triple H will defend the title versus "Everybody's Favorite Douchebag" Randy Orton
Winner: Triple H Reason: Young Randall has been requesting time-off as of late because he wants to be with his wife because she's pregnant and she's almost due. I would LOVE to rave on how A: Which woman would in their RIGHT MIND marry a guy who treats women like taking out a flaming pile of garbage. And B: Who would in there right mind would allow Randy Orton to breed?!? Anyways. Because of Orton's request to go off the road for awhile we might see Triple H with the strap.
World Heavyweight Title Match
The Undertaker versus Edge
Winner will become World Heavyweight Champion
"Undertaker's Choke Hold" A.K.A. The Gogoplata is banned.
Winner: The Undertaker Reason: Quite possibly one of the toughest calls I had to do recently. The reason is mostly have to do with the storyline and what happened this week when, storyline wise, GM Vickie Guerrero was almost stripped of her position. I'm betting something might happen at Judgment Day that will involve Vickie Guerrero and could effect the match. So I chose the best way I could. I flipped a coin. Heads=The Undertaker, Tails=Edge. Coin flip turned out Heads.
WWE Tag Team Title Match
The Miz & John Morrison will defend their titles vs ECW World Champion Kane & "Mr. Money In The Bank" CM Punk
Winner: The Miz & John Morrison Reason: Putting the Tag Titles on both Kane & Punk doesn't make anybody look good here. Adding to that since Punk has the "Money In The Bank" briefcase that could cause some conflict here. Way easy for Miz & Morrison to pull out a lot of dirty tricks here.
Womens Title Match
Triple Threat Match
Mickie James will defend the title versus Beth Phoenix & Melina
Winner: Mickie James Reason: Don't know why I'm doing this since most recently Mickie James broke poor Blade Braxton's heart by hitting on John Cena. Mickie you don't know where Cena's been! He might even have genital warts! I SHOULD pick Beth Phoenix out of spite! But quite honestly. Mickie will win to keep Beth's hate for her and Melina's not ready for the strap.
"The Wrestling COD!" JBL versus "Kal-El" John Cena
Winner: John Cena Reason: Quite a difficult decision here. We have two people that Vinnie Mac likes. One makes Vinnie Mac a LOT of money, while the other is his "butt buddy" so to speak. But one of them wasn't called "The Worst Person In The World". So Cena will pick up the win.
"The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho
Winner: Chris Jericho...by DQ! Reason: Expect Batista to show up to try and kill Shawn Michaels in this one.
And that's your PPV lineup for WWE presents "Judgment Day". I'm taking next week off. But when I return. Oh boy the fun will come big time!
Until next time. I can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handlebars.
