NoDQ.com > Columns > RD: An early "Phoning It In" for Backlash Posted by Raging Demons on 04/24/2008 at 03:50 AM
This is getting annoying. Three out of my last FOUR columns have been "Phoning It Ins"! I know this is the burden of the beast that I have to bear with since I'm doing TNA PPVs but seriously! Don't worry, next week will be either a "Product Review" or something that I've been planning for quite awhile now.
Now USUALLY I would do these columns once WWE is finished with announcing all their matches for a PPV. There's a catch. I'll be out-of-town this weekend for the WWE PPV "Backlash: The Night Of Champions". This will be the last time we will get to see this PPV as "Backlash" because they will now on call this PPV "Night Of Champions". So while I'll be out-of-town at the "Coachella Music & Arts Festival" rocking out to Prince, Roger Waters, MGMT, Vampire Weekend, Jack Johnson, and The Raconteurs, (I get to see some Jack White love! WHOO-HOO!) you will get to see what Keith Olberman calls "The World's Worst Person" JBL wrestle. So while I'm out there rockin' and getting a sunburn all of you have to suffer! MWA HAH HAH HAH!
*cough* Seriously.
Now. According to WWE.com as of the date of this column. These are your PPV matches for Backlash. This card CAN change and if it does, don't blame me
World Heavyweight Title Match
The Undertaker will defend his title versus Edge
Winner: The Undertaker Reason: Mostly to continue this feud and to show how much of a heel Vickie Guerrero can REALLY be.
WWE Title Match
Fatal Fourway Match
"Everybody's Favorite Douchebag" Randy Orton will defend his title vs Triple H, "Kal-El" John Cena, & "THE WRESTLING COD!" JBL
Winner: Randy Orton Reason: Honestly with RAW rating's in the dumper as of late which I think can be attributed to Orton one way or another the title SHOULD be switched to someone else. But it won't. JBL won't win because he's in a lot of trouble thanks to his false claims about his, and I quote him on this, "boner juice" energy drink & being called "The World's Worst Person" by MSN's Keith Olberman. Won't be Cena because he's still be filming his "12 Rounds" movie. And it won't be Triple H because I believe he will be more concerned with Stephy Bear birthing his second demon spawn. What's left? "Everybody's FAVORITE Douchebag" that's what...unfortunately.
The Big Show vs The Great Khali
Winner: The Big Show Reason: The Great Khali has to go back to India to open a pro wrestling school & to serve a commitment he has being an officer of the law so he'll be there for a month. Perfect excuse for a win right here. Great Khali with his own wrestling school. You think he'll teach them how to do the "Hokey Karate Chop Of Doom"?
U.S. Title Match
MVP will defend the title versus Matt Hardy
Winner: MVP Reason: I think Hardy is going to win the title at Summerslam in my opinion. Since their feud started last year both of them have been cursed with illness, injury, and sickness in one way or the other. I think with Hardy back WWE will probably will want to refreshen the fans with this feud for a bit.
ECW World Title Match
Kane will defend his title versus Chavo Guerrero
Winner: Chavo Guerrero Reason: I WAS going to go with Kane at first because it would continue the feud with not only Chavo Guerrero but with Edge and Vickie Guerrero as well because Kane's "brother" The Undertaker. While I was reading the match preview over at WWE.com they mentioned something. Chavo's motiviation to win the title back, according to WWE.com, is to beat CM Punk to it before he uses the "Money In The Bank" briefcase. I think Chavo will win it BECAUSE Punk will use the briefcase very soon!
"The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels vs Batista.
Guest Referee: Chris Jericho
Winner: Shawn Michaels Reason: To paraphrase one Mako Tsumani (points if anybody knows who that is) "This Feud will NOT be over!"
There you go. Now it's time to get ready for my trip.
Until next time. I can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handlebars.
