Back-to-back prediction columns?!? Boy that sure doesn't sound like me huh?
To all of you TNA fans out there. I always try to write everything that's pro wrestling related. But most of the time TNA just doesn't seem to have anything that's writable (that will change soon trust me and I hope your reading this Dixie CARTER!!!) For future TNA article ideas, "Product Reviews" (No TNA PPV DVD's!), or anything else TNA-flavored send me a message and if it pans out I'll give you a shout-out!
Now for the real reason why I'm writing this. I said it in my Wrestlemania column last time I talked to you all. I'm covering TNA PPV's for "Phoning It In"s. If you don't know what that is. It's basically your typical average prediction column but I use so little or no thought at all. I swear I could be playing "Monster's Den" on Kongreagate.com (not doing that now just a cheap plug!) while writing this! It's a way to not only to write something for the site, but to prove that anybody can do one of these, and I mean ANYBODY! Well now that I updated the concept of "Phoning It In" for the TNA fans.
Lockdown is kind of a special PPV. All of their matches are Steel Cage Matches. And don't go all "But they're 'Six Sides Of Steel Matches' so therefore your wrong" hippie crap. A cage is a cage no matter the size or the shape.
The current matches as of right now are listed on tnawrestling.com. And before I get to that. TNAwrestling.com is a mess for PPVs. Yes they list the matches but does not list all the stipulations for the matches or the back story. TNA listen. You need to assume that not everybody on the planet watches Impact or Xplosion. Putting all the stipulations and back story can help. That's at least one good thing that wwe.com can do! I ACTUALLY complimented wwe.com! Dear Lord! What's next? Edge and Vickie Guerrero sex tape becoming a good idea!?! YIKES!
TNA World Heavyweight Title Match
Steel Cage Match
Kurt Angle defends the title versus Samoa Joe.
If Samoa Joe looses he must retire.
Winner: Samoa Joe Reason: Okay. I know this has been in the works for a bit but after the big ole hype with Ric Flair's retirement, this one looks kinda tasteless for following Flair's retirement match at Wrestlemania. Not insulting Angle nor Samoa Joe I'm just commenting on the booking of the match. Joe winning it will be a no-brainer because Angle just revealed that he signed a MMA contract to fight former UFC champion Randy Couture. So taking the title off Angle could get him the time to train for that match.
Lethal Lockdown Steel Cage Match
Team Tomko (Tomko, AJ Styles, Team 3D, & James Storm) vs Team Cage (Christian Cage, Sting, Kevin Nash, Rhino, & Matt Morgan)
Winner: Team Cage Reason: Because Nash and a returning Sting perhaps?
X-Division Title Match
Steel Cage Xscape Match (Elimination Steel Cage my by pinfall/submission. When there's two competitors are left, win the title by escaping the cage.
"Black Machismo" Jay Lethal will defend the title vs Curry Man, "The Guru" Sonjay Dutt, Johnny Devine, Shark Boy, & Consequences Creed
Winner: Sonjay Dutt Reason: Comedy gimmicks gone so no Curry Man or *glare* Shark Boy (be lucky your masked!). Creed just came back so giving him a X-Division Title run doesn't seem like a good idea. Nope on Devine. And since with the recent hi-jynx & hilarity of Dutt on the whole Lethal/So-Cal Val "Date". Dutt winning the title could be the start of a good feud.
Steel Cage Mixed Tag Team Match
Booker T & Sharmell vs Robert Roode & Payton Banks (I've seen "Peyton" on other wrestling sites but I'm going with TNA with "Payton")
Winner: Booker T Reason: I'm actually going against the grain here. History have here so far with this Roode/Booker T feud is Roode should be going on top. With the way Impact has been showing their feud the last month it seems like Booker should get the duke (win) for this one.
Steel Cage Match
BG James vs Kip James
Winner: BG James Reason: Uh...because I don't care.
Steel Cage Women's Tag Team Match
Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed vs Gail Kim & ODB
Winner: Awesome Kong & Raisha Saeed Reason: TNA has done some amazing things with their new Women's division. So great that these matches out perform the guys. The Women's Division could be what the Cruiserweight Division was in WCW, I know they try to do that with the X Division but thanks to the wackiness that is Kevin Nash that has gone all to heck! Which leads me to the following. If they booked it at last PPV for a three-way match with the following minus Raisha Saeed with Kong winning. What makes you think they can do it again this time WITH Saeed? Exactly.
Steel Cage Cuffed In The Cage Match (last tag team left uncuffed will win)
Participants: LAX, The Motor City Machine Guns, The Rock N' Rave Infection, Scott Steiner & Petey Williams, "Super" Eric Young & Kaz, Black Reign & Rellik
Winner: Scott Steiner & Petey Williams Reason: With the way they are pushing Petey's "initiation" & Steiner cashing in the World Title Shot this past month while the rest of the other tag teams haven't gone anywhere except your typical feuds. It makes sense.
Steel Cage Queen Of The Cage Knockouts Match (Eight Knockouts start outside competing outside the cage. When two Knockouts are in the Steel Cage then it will be a one-on-one match)
Participants: Angelina Love, Velvet Sky, Salinas, Rhaka Khan, Traci Brooks, "My Pal & Yours!" Christy Hemme, Jacqueline, & Roxxi Laveaux
Winner: Roxxi Laveaux Reason: I'm kinda irked that they brought back the "Reverse Battle Royal" but under a different name. YEESH! Half of the Knockouts competing are just filler. So Brooks, Khan, Jacqueline, and Salinas are gone. I would love to see Christy win but I don't see it, I'm sorry Christy. Hey if I'm wrong, at the next "HEMME" show that I attend I'll buy you a drink what do you say? I have a feeling that a "good girl" (good girls go to heaven) will win this match and since Velvet Sky & Angelina Love are acting like "bad girls" (but the bad girls go everywhere!) as of late. So I'm taking a gamble with Roxxi
There you go. My first ever TNA "Phoning It In". Let's hope it gets successful because I need all the TNA writing I can get.
Until next time. I can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handlebars.
